Parental Suffocation

I hate it when you're rude,

and don't take me seriously.

You say so many crude things,

how can I not take that personally?

Bang,

slam,

another thing breaks.

You're a horrible person,

how much MORE of this do you think I can take?

I'm screaming in anger,

and crying in frustration.

The will to live is leaving my body,

I need some,

motivation.

Though how can I feel motivated,

when I'm always so fixated,

on the dried blood coating my hands.

I'm not a little kid,

I'm done tending to your demands,

but go ahead and grow angrier when I choose to have a mind of my own.

Even though it's clear with every passing year that I've grown.

More holes now cover the walls,

and for once they're not all from you.

I've been pushed past the point of no return,

and I have no idea what I'm doing,

with my life.

Where is my future taking me?

This knife,

inches closer and closer to my wrist.

Am I doomed to forever remain here?

Your selfishness,

drowns out your ability to care about anyone else.

You constantly put on a happy face,

when we have company.

Then twist the narrative around,

to gain their sympathy.

All of a sudden now I'm the bad guy,

the unruly child you can't tame.

Disciplinary action must be taken,

pain and teaching is one in the same.

Complain,

when I don't shower you with affection and love.

Claim,

that you've taken such good care of me,

and given me more than enough.

I'm sorry I can't be bought,

with gifts and trips.

That won't stop you from trying anyway,

using different tips and tricks.

None of this,

will ever make up for the YEARS of torment.

Yet with your fake tears and pleading eyes,

I reluctantly relent.

You say it's all water under the bridge,

the hatch is deeply buried.

Yet when your anger soon rises,

so does all the grudges you've carried.

That's fine by me,

you're not the only one who can hold a grudge.

I'll still continue to stubbornly stand my ground,

I refuse to yield or budge.

I will no longer be abused or mistreated,

I'll find the will to live,

and no longer feel defeated.

One day I'll turn my back on you,

and never look back.

When you're dying on your death bed,

you'll be sorry that you reacted,

so negatively.

To me,

when I expressed the need to be alone.

The need to move onto something better,

to leave home.

You raged,

claiming I wasn't ready for the world or any adult responsibilities.

Yelled at me,

threw things,

saying I don't have the ability,

to take care of myself.

I might not know how to live in the real world,

but I'm doing this for my mental health!

I can't stand being in the same room as you anymore,

let alone the same house.

My mind's made up,

I'm leaving,

I'm out.

Don't you dare turn around and try to make me feel sorry for you,

crying about how lonely it'll be once I'm gone.

Just shut up,

it's over,

through.

I've moved on,

and so should you.