Naruto : I'am The Tsuchikage

Идея с деревней камня хороша, но то что начало фанфика уже ставит героя на самую вершину немного убивает интерес. Если бы герой тренировался с детства и показали бы его путь не воспоминаниями а подробно расписали это было бы гораздо лучше. Что еще на параноидальные меры секретности проектов? Да и чтоо за проекты7 не сказано. Стиль написания плох. Нет выделения кто говорит особенно в первых главах. Писть имя и фразу это низший уровень письма. Весь фанфик кажется весьма посредственным из-за этого. Но могу отметить что с битвами все очень даже не плохо... но это только один плюс помимо идеи фанфика, на гору минусов. Нужно переписать, замедлить темп и сделать нормальное развитие и тренировки героя. Да и еще и реформы проработать и сделать видным как они осуществляются, кем, это гораздо интереснее чем экзамен на чунина. он вообще мог бы пройти без участия Каге деревни.

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*google translated* This ff is rubbish, fighting with the Raikage but the MC is made weak or the Raikage is made stronger, the MC is always injured during the first fight at the Kage Summit the MC is not alert to being attacked by the Raikage and gets injured/loses, the second is during the chunnin exams the MC is the one who should have the advantage because can fly in the air, suddenly the Raikage has a strong long range jutsu even Jinton can't beat the Raikage's jutsu even though the Raikage should only have a strong close range jutsu and in the original story it was never seen that the Raikage had a strong long range jutsu so it's as if the author made MC became weak and made the Raikage even stronger. also the chunnin exams arc was made up of many chapters which made me disappointed because there were more pressing problems such as organizations that were causing chaos in the land and were instead ignored.

Well, the story is nice, a little confusing because the author made this an AU where the problem is that more explanations are needed to fill in the changes, but well honestly an interesting concept as a story and which hopefully will develop better to come, just hope it doesn't drop soon enough

molto, molto bella, ambientata bene come storia anche se un problema non indifferente è la lentezza estrema degli aggiornamenti; senza contare che ogni tot viene aggiunto un solo capitolo per volta. A parte ciò è magnifica

Weird change in perspective for me, not really from the MC’s POV, the grammar definitely needs work. And we don’t really get to learn about the MC except for some flashbacks, probably because it’s 3rd person POV all the time. But aside from that, it has a rarer plot for Naruto fanfics with it being outside of Konoha and kingdom building. Personally I like MC’s character and powers, plot development is pretty good, and the split off from canon events kind of annoys me but I can look past it. sometimes.

the Idea is nice, but the writing is a bit dry, still an interesting story...........................................................................

Idk man second tauchikage disappeard i mean he was onoki's teacher His Kekkei tota is secret skill he taught him i mean i would understand if he was third also onoki is suddenly much older… i mean I understand alternatíve but if you change onoki age he will be as old as he is in boruto in naruto… Idk i read First 10 chaps 3 stars

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a story different from the others its good ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hey author the story good, I just have a small question what about the romance

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......good fanfic post more...............

The overall story and idea is really good, however some work has to made on the quality of the writing and a bit on the progression. Firstly, the writing has little to no mistakes except for the lack of quotations. As for the story itself, it feels a lot like a summary, explanation, or retelling rather than telling the story from any specific point of view. Overall, it's a great story that only needs minor work on some writing skills.

moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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