Thirteen.

After much thought, I decided to cancel my meetings for the rest of the day, and assigned the pressing task to Hendery and some other staff members then I went home. Today, I took extra time in picking out what to wear, and making sure I smelled nice before leaving the house.

I made a quick stop at the flower shop where I got some flowers, and I also went to buy some chocolates. After ascertaining that I had gotten everything I needed, I drove off to my destination.

"Hey beautiful." I smiled as I placed the flower down. It was evident that someone had been here recently, there was a flower lying on her grave, and from the empty bottle of wine lying around, I could guess who came to visit.

"Did you miss me?" I asked as I sat cross-legged beside her. "Well I did. There have been so many things happening recently but you aren't here for me to speak about it with. Of course, if you were here, most of the recent happenings wouldn't have occurred." I chuckled. If Stella had still been here, there was no way I would have been involved with Zandia.

"You know, I sometimes feel like you are around me, still here, but then, how is that possible right? Or is it?" I asked her but instead of her cherry happy voice, all I heard was silence all around me. "I am hoping that you can finally rest, but then again, there is a part of me that wish you were hovering around me." Now that I said that out, I couldn't help but shudder. Was it really okay to wish for that? And to speak about it here?

I had never thought I would be visiting a graveyard as much as I did now, I hadn't even visited my grandpa's resting place, but Stella made me a frequent visitor to her now resting place.

"So, I met someone. Our meeting was quite an unexpected one..." I went on to narrate my meeting with Zandia to her and our agreement to just f*ck once and forget the experience.

"She was a virgin. You won't imagine how shocked I was when I heard her wince. At first I didn't know why she had such a reaction, I might be big..." I chuckled recalling how Stella always talked about my size. "But I wasn't expecting an experienced person to look so uncomfortable and shed a tear upon my going in. When I finally understood why age had such a reaction, I was so confused about whether to pull out and end it or whether to just keep going. The look in her eyes, it was something I had never seen before. She was determined, and yet scared. I guess she was just as scared as I was, hence I tried to make it an enjoyable experience for her, and hopefully, I did. And when I left the next morning, I just knew it. I knew I wouldn't be forgetting her anytime soon." I paused as I opened the chocolate. It was Stella's favorite.

"Here, have some." I offered as I took a piece and allowed it to melt in my mouth. The sweet taste I had once complained about had become something I got accustomed to. I do have moments where I regret having complained about its sweetness. Whenever Stella comes by with snacks, I would always tell her no. She had loved sweet things. And after her death, I got accustomed to liking her favorite chocolate.

"I don't know if it is destiny playing a trick but she came to my office, turns out she is the home decorator I chose for the design I had spoken to you about. I find myself wanting to hold onto her, it is scary. It scares me how much she occupies my thoughts." I confessed. The thought of Zandia has become an intruding thought in my head recently. So intruding that I sometimes forget my pain.

"I want to pursue it Stella, I am sorry I am here to talk about another lady but I felt I needed to speak with you about it. If..." I swallowed. "If we do end up together, she... I might not be coming as frequently as I do now, of course she wouldn't be taking your place, you are irreplaceable. But I am hoping I will be able to create special memories with her just as much as I did with you, or even more. Can I pursue her?" Whether it was a coincidence, the breeze blew at that very moment causing goosebumps to appear on my skin.

"I can right?" There hasn't been any moment where I want to hear her speak as much as I want her to right now. But the peace I felt speaking with her made me assume I had her approval.

"I am worried though, I have been quite mean towards her and I bet she hates me now." The last time I saw her, I had to hold myself back from approaching her. The urge to be close to her was overwhelming. Instead, I walked away from her. I can still remember the confused, and disappointed look she had on her when I got into the elevator.

"I guess I would have some work on my hands." I chuckled as I picked up another piece of chocolate.

"And work..." I went on talking until I had nothing more to fill her in.

"I should let you rest now." I laughed at the weirdness of what I had said. All she does now is rest. "I will visit you hopefully soon to tell you if she accepted me or not. I hope you will be rooting for me." With that I left the place.

Stopping at my recently discovered restaurant, I went in to eat. It is a traditional Italian restaurant. The interior always gave a warm feeling. The roof was decorated with some beautiful leaves. Taking a seat at the window side. A waitress walked over and poured me a cup of tea, she left the menu and walked away giving me time to decide what I wanted to eat.

It wasn't a hard decision to make as I have been craving their Milanese chicken recently. With a sign from me, she walked over once more and took my order.

The tea she had poured had the perfect blend of honey and lime. I totally enjoyed the tea as I savored the taste before my meal was served. I heard the owner had started this business after burying her husband and son here, she wanted to give comfort to those who had lost their loved ones.

I guess she wanted the warm food to help bring comfort and reduce the loneliness of her visitors.

'If Zandia ever wants to pay Stella a visit with me, I will definitely bring her here to eat.'