A Dis-Arming Chat

"Bullshit!" Stark said, stomping up to me till he hit my forcefield.

"Now listen here you-"

"Attatatta!" I stopped him mid rant, and pointed at the holoscreen.

"There's a nuke hurtling at the city as you bleat vainly about some stupid little grievance-"

"Jarvis isn't a-" Stark tried to interrupt but I shut his suit down, blocking his voice.

"... and as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, I can only deal with one at a time. Actually no, I can deal with both easily but I'd rather only deal with one.

So here's a choice for you. I can either sit here and listen to you bitch about whatever stupid crap you were about to tell me and we could have a nice little kitty party and talk about our feelings and play with your little teacups and teddy bears, or.....or I could go out there and save the city from the incoming nuke, which by the way is supposed to be your job, one which you have failed at spectacularly.

And actually, I don't need you to make the choice because unlike you, I have better things to do." I said, as I tipped him over with one finger, unfastening the magnetic locks on his suit causing it fall apart as soon as it hit the ground.

"Riley, watch out. Portal to the roof ." I warned and Riley nodded, grabbing Loki's body in her arms.

I turned around, opened a portal beneath her and jumped in after her, landing on the roof, leaving Stark behind as he pushed apart the armor frantically, fuming with rage.

We appeared on the roof, greeted by a cool breeze, blowing in my hair.

I looked back at the holoscreen and checked the nuke.

It would be here soon.

30 seconds now.

"Alright everyone!" I said, turning to the camera, "Have you ever wondered how someone can deal with a nuke?

Here's the answer. Portals."

I smiled.

Just then Star appeared on the side of the roof, leaping up onto it with his shadow tendrils.

"Why did you call me back, Papa?" He asked.

"To watch. There's going to be some really pretty fireworks up there soon!" I told him.

"For those that are watching, let me explain.

Since the US government has been so kind as to try to nuke their own citizens, I think we might as well use their deranged lunacy for something valuable.

Our alien invaders, in their infinite generosity, have gifted us with.... well you can see their gift for yourself." I panned the camera to the destruction of the city.

"So obviously, it is only right that we return the favor, right. I mean it'd be mighty rude of us to not send them a gift back, wouldn't it?

Now usually, nukes aren't my first choice for a return gift. Too dirty, too radioactive, leave an aftertaste in your mouth for a long, long time after wards.

Personally, I prefer low yield nuetrino bombs myself. They're cheap, clean and a 100 percent more effective than a nuke.

But in this case, since it's not a very nice gift they sent, I suppose they can't complain that we didn't match their value, you get what I'm saying?

Yes, my dear viewers.

Today, I'm going take that government nuke and shove it so far us their alien asses their grandchildren will be coming out with radiation poisoning.

Oh! And would you look at that!

Here comes the package, just in time.

Now, I know some of you look down on rewrapping a gift you received from someone else and handing it ahead, but it's the environmentally conscious thing to do in my opinion, rather than buying a brand new gift, and causing more wasteful pollution.

So, in keeping with that, let's send that gift, right up!"

The nuke soared through the skies above New York, and began to dip, angling for the Space Stone.

I could feel it's sensors flaring, target locking on the source of the energy beam.

I smiled and snapped my fingers, opening a portal right in it's path, sending it straight through, and out the other portal above me, leading straight into the rip in space through which the Chitauri came through, before boarding the hole with my forcefield, to prevent any blowback from the explosion.

Seconds later, an explosion rang out with a deafening roar, lighting up the sky around the hole in a fiery red and gold, debris beating fiercely against my forcefield as chunk of the Chitauri armada could be seen floating through space on the other side of the big blue hole.

"Pretty!" Star cheered at the explosion, jumping in joy.

I ruffled his hair, and smiled too, giving Riley a shoulder hug as we watched the scene.

This scene which should have been and would have been rightfully horrifying to me just four years ago was now a warm and fuzzy, family moment.

Man, my life has gone bonkers these past few years.

I chuckled.

"There ya go! The nuke has been dealt with." I said, and flicked my wrist at the device powering up the beam and snatched out the Tesseract from it, shutting the portal down.

"And that's the portal to their world shut down. Done and done!

As you can see, the Chitauri are all falling out of the sky like flies, with their connection to their mothership cut off.

Incidentally, here's a fun fact.

This is also the reason robot armies are impractical without A.I. support.

If they all have a single command post in a server room somewhere, that's a big vulnerability, so keep that in mind when trying to build your very own robot army.

And the only reason I'm saying this is specifically because I know that Tony Stark is just dumb enough to try this strategy. And Nick Fury, the director of the US secret secret illuminati force called SHIELD, which is spying on all of you by the way, is even dumber and will likely fund this horrendous idea.

So, you know, take this as an early warning and don't.

It never ends well.

And when they inevitably do it, because of course they will, authoritarian assholes have a certain mindset, a messiah complex I've gotten a bit too used to recently.

When they do do it, and then fuck up massively, I can say 'I told you so' and be smug about it.

And do you know why I know that will happen?

Because it already has happened once

Today, the whole reason this alien invasion happened, is because Tony Stark and Nick Fury decided it was better to have a dick measuring contest about who gets to put Loki behind bars rather than dealing with the actual problem.

You see all those people down there, dead people, women, children.

You know who to blame now.

Tony Stark and his big fat ego.

Nick Fury and his desire to put a gun against the head of every man, woman and child on the planet to satisfy his crazed paranoia about everyone being secretly evil and out to get him.

This blood, it's on their hands and on the hands of everyone who went along with their stupid plans.

So when you people, all of you go back to your normal lives and wonder, why did my wife have to die?

Why did my son have to get his head blown up by an alien laser beam?

You look to these people and say thank you.

Thank you Nick Fury for being a power hungry fascist fuckwad.

And thank you Tony Stark, for providing the aliens with the power source to open a gateway to our planet.

I snapped my fingers and all of their faces appeared on a screen projected world-wide.

"A big round of applause everyone, for the brave heroes of Earth who put your underdeveloped planet into the crosshairs of every major galactic regime and dictatorship.

And we all know what happens when a technologically superior empire finds an underdeveloped place in the boonies.

It always ends well for the people in that backwater place.

Like how the conquistadors found South America or when the British found the America.

Because that ended so well for the native americans, didn't it?"

I let the point sink for a moment before I continued.

"Be prepared. Thanks to these people and their arrogance, this is going to be just the first of many, many more alien invasions. And the next time, it won't just be New York that gets demolished.

This time, I was here, and I stopped them. But I won't always be here.

So take a moment to remember these people. Commit their faces to memory.

The heroes, who killed and will kill, with your approval, many millions more in their hubris and god complex.

A big round of applause for them, everyone!" I said, as I raised my hands and clapped.

Nothing happened.

Nothing.

I scanned the roof.

The sky.

Nothing.

No time cops. No golden portals.

What in the fuck?

Seriously?

After I went through all that effort of-

"Hey! You! Octopus man.

What do you have against us? We were trying to protect this planet!"

Thor landed on the roof with a thud, annoyed.

The rest of the Avengers followed suit shortly, climbing up the stairs to the roof.

"And you did a damn good job of it! Computer, how many people died here today?"

"6164 humans, 54 dogs, 38 cats,...."

"Yeah yeah, that's enough. See, phenomenal job you guys are doing. Only 6000 something people dead. I'm sure that's cold comfort for the families of the dead.

Is that what you'll tell the grieving mothers and crippled orphans.

Be grateful you didn't die while you mother was crushed to death by the debris of Hulk's rampage across the city? Do you expect them to thank you for that?"

"We had the best of intentions, I assure you son!" Captain America added, leading the group.

"Oh I don't doubt that Cap. But a driver that swerves to avoid a child in the middle of the road and ends up killing three pedestrians by accident is still a murderer, even if he had good intentions.

And haven't you heard the saying, 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions.'

So you can keep your good intentions and I can-"

"And you can hand Loki over to me. And the Tesseract too while you're at it. They'll be safer in Asgard." Thor interrupted.

"No." I replied.

"No?! What do you mean no? Do you understand how powerful that artifact is? It's not safe here. And Loki is my brother and a citizen of Asgard. He comes with me. He will be punished suitably by our father." He asked, walking forward and bumping into my forcefield.

"No." I repeated.

"Not yet."

"Excuse me, can we go back to the part where he made us out to be war criminals?!" Tony exclaimed, pointing at me as he looked around.

"Hold on." Natasha interjected, "Aren't you mad at him? He chopped off Loki's arms."

"He did what?!" Thor growled, snapping to Loki's body, watching as Riley stitched Loki's arms on again.

"What are you doing to my brother?!" Thor screamed, rushing to Loki's side.

"Relax, she's stitching him back up-"

But Thor didn't listen and shoved Riley out of the way, sending her skidding across the roof.

Immediately, I caught her and activated her forcefield at full capacity.

"Riley, are you okay?" I asked and she winced but nodded.

Rage bubbled in my gut as I turned to Thor, eyes burning with barely contained fury.

"How dare you shove my daughter to the ground?! And after she was healing him too!" I said, grabbing him with my tentacles, lifting him up high.

"Akgh!" He cried out, the tentacles tightening around his body, slowly crushing him.

He tried to break out but to no avail as fear flashed in his eyes.

"Leave Hulk friend alone!" Hulk shouted as he charged.

"Hulk no!" Captain America warmed but it was too late.

Hulk slammed into my forcefield, pummeling it with blow after blow to no effect.

"I am warning you Hulk. Stop now before someone gets hurt." I said, raising at hand at him.

"Leave Hulk friend go!" He said, ignoring my warning.

I repeated it once more though, just to drive home the point.

"Hulk stand down. I don't want unnecessary violence so don't force my hand."

"So the god slayer is scared of something after all?" Tony snarked.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Hulk stop this and step back. Final warning."

"Keep going Hulk!" He shouted from the back.

"Hulk smash you to-"

"Alright. I've warned you enough." I sighed.

My nano swarm coalesced around me forming a tight band of machine musculature around me, like a bidy suit.

I looked up and saw Hulk raise his arms to beat down on me again as a cold light flashed in my eyes.

Just as he brought his arms down, I swung out my own, grabbing them both by the knuckles.

Bringing the full power of my nano muscles, I gripped him tight, as cracking sound rung out on the roof, and Hulk's skin popped like a rubber ball, his bones cracked under my strength, and with one twist of my arms, I wring his arms around, twisting them both out of their sockets.

Hulk screamed out in pain, his roar echoing across the entire city as he stumbled forward, and in a rare moment of lucidity tried to head butt me.

A fatal mistake.

I rolled my eyes at him and stepped forward, sending a quick set of jabs to his collar and chest sending him bouncing back a step, before I took another step forward, concentrating the nanomachines on my arm.

I reared my fist back one last time and slammed it across his chin, collapsing it with a sickening squelch.

But it didn't end there.

The force of the punch was so great that his head twisted, a whole one and a half times around, his eyes betraying his shock as the rest of the Avengers gasped.

The Hulk stood still for a moment before the green of his skin receded, his muscles deflating, and he turned back into Banner, collapsing knee first onto the floor, dead.

"I warned you." I repeated, looking Tony dead in the eyes, "But you didn't listen. You never listen do you Tony? Another death, another splash of blood on your hands. And we could have ended this without any violence too. All I wanted from Thor was an apology."

I turned to Thor.

"Apologize to her. Now. And I might just let you go alive." I offered, as the tentacles gripped him harder.

"Yaarrg!" He cried, looking at me, "I am sorry!"

"Apologize to her, not me." I said, turning his head with one tentacle to face Riley.

"I'm sorry, little girl. I did not mean to be..ugh....so disrespectful." He groaned as the pressure of the tentacles grew.

"Good." I said, coldly, and let him out of my clutches.

He fell to the floor, gasping for breath and sighed in relief when I grabbed his left arm, with a tentacle lifting it up, while my other tentacle severed it clean off with the laser cutter, before disintegrating it.

"Aargh!" He fell to the floor, writhing in pain.

"That was for trying to harm my daughter. Let that be a lesson. Next time, be polite."

"You killed him ..."

Captain America stepped forward, intent in fighting me if I did something else but I stopped him with a glance behind him at his teammates.

He took the hint and with a solemn face stood his ground to protect the rest.

"Good choice, Cap." I smiled.

I knelt down beside Dr. Bruce Banner, the human half of the Incredible Hulk, and nestled his head in my arms, pulling out a syringe of CodeRed from my coat, injecting him with it.

Within seconds, as the world watched, Banner's neck wrung itself right, slowly reforming the torn tissue and blood, and with a jolt Banner awoke, the light returned to his eyes.

"I'm ...alive?" Banner gasped looking down at his hands then at me.

"How?" He asked in disbelief.

"Simple. Death is a disease and I found the cure. I'm not the smartest man in the universe for nothing you know?" I smiled and helped him up.

"Then Thor's-" Captain America asked.

"No." I cut him off, "He needs to learn to live with it. Let it be a humbling reminder to him. To remember his place." I turned to look at Thor.

"You are not a god. You are not above anyone. Remember that. And learn some humility from this. And while you're at it, teach some to your brother too."

I pointed at Loki, now patched up to ship shape by Riley.

"Now where were we again?"

____________________

Extra chapter for 300 powerstones.

Next Extra chapter at 400 powerstones.

MC shows the Avengers who's really in charge here.

And Poor Riley gets shived for helping someone.

Next time, Time Cops arrive.

Till then donate Y'all powerstones!

And thanks for reading.

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