Tired

"Pft." Akira hid his grin behind his hand as he turned away. I frowned and crossed my arms.

Hey, now! Was that really a laughing matter!?

"Don't laugh at me! I was freaked out, okay!" I yelled at the boy. "I wanted nothing more than to get rid of those creepy eyes watching me!"

"Ahem, right. Sorry." Akira quickly regained his composure and dropped his hand. "So, do you have anything else to prove him guilty or that we can use against him? There must be something if his level of stalking is already to spy cam level."

Do I?

It's not like he follows me everywhere like most normal stalkers would. Was Yuu the type to take secret photos? But, I don't think he'd let those get found so easily if he was. I could say the same for any other information he has on me that could be damning. I don't think he's done anything else that's illegal...

... Besides drugging me!

"Oh, would this be helpful?" I swiftly pulled out my phone and scrolled through my texts with Yuu until I found the one I was looking for.

Y: Oh! That's because the chocolates had some narcotics laced in. (^^;)>

Aha!

I showed Akira the text. As his eyes scanned the screen, Akira's expression remained blank, and he sighed after he finished looking through the exchange.

Since he took the time to read all the messages on the screen, that must mean it wasn't enough...

"So?" I asked, obviously not expecting anything. 

"Haru, why'd you let the guy in your house? Actually, isn't this the second time? Because he planted the cameras earlier." Akira went straight for the scolding. I scrunched my eyebrows together.

"I didn't ask you about that." I muttered.

"Haru, you let him run over you too easily. It's no wonder he's set you as his target! You obviously feel uncomfortable around him, even before finding out he planted the cameras. So why'd you let him in your home?" Akira continued to reprimand me. I shrunk.

"Well..." I squeezed my arms against myself.

How to explain that I was terrified of opposing Yuu without mentioning the game? 

...Actually, should I tell him about the game?

Would Akira believe me?

Or would he already know?

From the little, I suppose, "mistakes" he's made, I know for a fact he knows more than he lets on. It's possible he already knows about this world being a game. 

Then, is he hiding it on purpose?

If so, for what purpose? Why?

I may like Akira, and he may have become someone I've come to rely on in this stressful and unfortunate setting. However, he's still so shady. I'm reminded of that every so often.

The happenstance that he just so "coincidentally" came to the ice cream parlor earlier was an example of that.

And there's plenty of other suspicious behavior.

Akira must have put a bug in my phone or something because he constantly knows where I am. He was and probably still is obsessed with the whole "BFF" thing. He's stopped with that now, but it could be because he realized it was backfiring and making me more cautious of him. We also can't forget the fact that he also used to use the "BFF" title as if it gave him the right to know every little detail about me and what I was doing. Sometimes, it feels like he knows everyone's true character as well. Finally, there's the unknown factor of a hidden character, which he was the highest probability of being.

And how would he know? I didn't tell him. I haven't noticed anyone else being aware. Was he transmigrated? Reincarnated?

If so, that only makes me question why more.

He must know I'm not like the MC from the game and realized I was a fellow soul from our dimension. There's no way he shouldn't since the game's pacing was already way off. So then, shouldn't we work together to stay safe? Shouldn't we work together to find a way back to our original world?

He's hiding too much for me to fully trust him.

"Sorry." I blinked at the sudden apology that pulled me out of my thought train.

"Huh?" Akira looked ashamed.

"You looked really upset just now. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be scolding you right now." Akira sighed before turning to face me. "Anyway, this isn't good enough." Akira took my phone from my me and stood beside me as he pointed at a message.

Y: I found out I accidentally put some in after I came back. See, the powders in our house are stored together, and I mistook some things, haha~

"Here he wrote the crime off as an "accident." With this, he could plead ignorance since we don't have evidence proving otherwise, and as you weren't harmed from the "accident," he'd get away scot free with a warning. Maybe he'd get a fee or demerit, but nothing serious enough to detain or stop him."

Woah. That was such a clean explanation.

"Oh." I slowly grabbed my phone back. "Of course, he wouldn't let himself get caught so easily." I mumbled absentmindedly.

"The foe is quite strong." Akira admitted begrudgingly.

I shut off the screen with a huff and caught my reflection. 

Exhausted, brown eyes that were a shade lighter than I was use to stared back. 

Not me, but Haruka stared back. Haruka Suzuki, the one everyone was truly after. The heroine everyone deeply desired.

I suddenly felt tired. So very tired.

Being the main character was draining. Too draining. 

I don't want to be the lead actress anymore.

I don't want this overbearing weight anymore.

Maybe I should scar this face. Yeah. That would make things simpler, right?

It was small price to pay in exchange for losing Yuu's admiration. If I did it, I could finally relax.

I wonder if Ryuu and Tatsuya would lose attraction to me, too. Maybe if I made it narly enough, they'll completely abandon me. I would be free from all of them. I could finally be alone again. 

Alone.

I don't want to be alone again.

"Haru!?" 

I looked up to see Akira with a startled expression. 

Huh, why was my vision blurry? Do I need glasses?

"Haru, why are you crying all of a sudden!?" Akira called out in concern as he held his hands up awkwardly, probably wanting to comfort me in some way.

Ah, that's why my vision was swimming.

When did I start crying? I was too worn out and in my head to notice.

... If.

If Akira did know, couldn't he help lift this crushing burden off my shoulders?

I took a step closer to Akira and leaned the top of my head against his chest. His warm, kind chest.

But, wouldn't that burden him? Wouldn't I be dragging him down with me?

"Haru?" Akira seemed to calm down as he gently took me into a hug. "What's wrong? Are you worried about Yuu-kun?"

Yeah, I am.

I grasped his shirt in my hand as I looked at the ground.

But, that's not all.

"...Dammit." Akira whispered the curse before guiding me to an empty alleyway to avoid prying stares.

Haha, why is it I only lose it like this in front of him? I haven't cried by myself once since coming here. Yet, I always burst out into tears with him.

"It's alright, Haru. Let it out." Akira pressed me closer so that my cheek pressed against his chest and rubbed consoling circles on my back.

As I heard his steady heartbeat, I let the tears that wanted to fall freely pour.

Ha! I worried about burdening him, yet aren't I doing the very same now? What difference would it make adding a little more?

...

If I don't tell Akira anything, I'll never find out anything, and we'll continue on as we have been, as "best friends."

If I reveal my knowledge of the game, Akira will either take it in stride or think I've lost it.

If I do it now, I could write it off as some delirium due to not being in the right state of mind and too emotional. 

And if on the slightest chance he does know about the game, I'd finally have an ally I can 100% rely on.

I wouldn't be struggling alone.

I wouldn't be by myself.

"Haru?" 

I weakly pushed myself out of Akira's embrace and wiped my tears so I could see.

I needed to see his face during this.

"What is it?" He asked with the saddest, most concerned expression I imagined he could procure.

I want to believe in this.

I want to believe in him.

I want to believe he is truly my ally.

"Aki—" My voice barely came out as my throat refused to cooperate.

"Haru, if you want to talk, you should wait until—"

"No, I have to ask this now." My voice was hoarse and cracked a little, but it worked.

Akira close this mouth and looked at me with his full attention.

"Akira, does Deepest Desire ring any bells?"