I Don’t Want To Be An Wingman

–

I hate this situation. Going back in time, it was when I was five years old. Like any other 5 year old, I didn't want much. My dream was to have a pink wedding with my destined prince while going over the rainbow bridge on a unicorn, just like it appeared in the storybooks.

"Mother! Mother!"

I put on a thin pajama dress and ran into the bedroom, to my mother's arms. My mom and dad woke up, dumbfounded. My mom smiled softly, embarrassed by my actions.

"Oh, my daughter, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"

I cried bitterly and wet my mother's skirt. My throat began to sting, but I didn't care. Rubbing my face against her soft, silky pajamas, I struggled to hold back my tears.

"Mom… I don't think I can marry…"

I burst into tears again when I said so. My voice was hoarse and I heard a voice that wasn't old enough.

My mother kept patting me while I was crying without responding. When my mother asked me what was going on, I couldn't do anything but cry. It was because I was still shocked. I could still vividly remember what happened when I was five. Even my father had to stop me from blowing my nose onto my mother's skirt. On that night when I was five years old, I was dumped by a boy who I had confessed to with courage. It was a dream that had changed my life.

That's why I crying so badly. Because that dream was about my old life.

* * *

I read a book before I died. The title of the book was, Hestia's Fishes. It reeked of a third-rate harem novel. It was a romance novel, but with a poor story. Although the novel could have been repulsive because there was such a poor storyline, I read it for the romance rather than the story, so there was no big problem.

In my dream, I realized that the world I was living in was the same world as that of the novel that I read in my previous life. At first, I thought it was just a coincidence that my name, "Charine West," was the same name as a character from the book. But when I realized that my friend Hestia Fleur de Couture, had the same name as the female lead in the book, I slammed my head on the desk and wished that everything would just disappear.

But soon I had to admit to the reality. Because the setting of the novel and the place where I lived horrifyingly matched. In the novel, I was only an Ojakgyo. Charine West was the friend of the pretty and good-natured heroine. She went back and forth between the male lead and the heroine, becoming a hardcore Ojakgyo. An Ojakgyo so faithful that it was enough for someone's hair to fall off.

I could never find love here. In the novel, all the guys that Charine liked were only interested in Hestia. Only then did I begin to see why all the boys I was interested in were looking at Hestia. Reality was so cruel, you… my dream of being with my destined prince was fully ruined on the day that my past life's memories returned, I burned all the traces of princesses that i had, with empty eyes.

"Mom, why do you think people live?"

"…?"

"If there's a thing called fate, why do people even try...….?"

My mom, who was packing her face to straighten her wrinkles, looked at me strangely.

"...Everything's useless. It all goes one way anyways."

And I began to change.

* * *

Girls of my age came to my house to play after a long time. They came here with their favorite prince toys and chatted with me about their favorite sets of unicorns, but I wasn't impressed at all. The madam, which was watching us play, asked us.

"What are our princesses' dreams?"

The madam spoke in a very sweet way when dealing with the young children. While some girls were being rude and holding their prince and princess dolls together, I thought I didn't want to listen to her. The children answered her question with all their heart. Even if I wanted to scream, I didn't have any energy left after eating the cake. But the children announced their dreams in a loud voice.

"Me! I'm going to meet a prince who cares about me to the ends of the earth and give him a kiss! We'll get married, too! I'll live a flowery life every day!"

"Linda– Linda, I want to meet a fateful person and live happily ever after! I'll raise a unicorn as a pet! I'll wash my face with mystical powder every day!"

The madam listened to their stories with a warm smile. Hestia hesitated to speak up beside me, but she soon said that she wanted to marry a prince and live happily.

"What do you want to do Char? Do you want to marry a prince too?"

I was in a daze but shook it off quickly when she asked me the question. Then I hardened my face and spoke firmly.

"I want to become an official."

Honestly, it was a better investment than looking for love.

People looked at me strangely, but I calmly ate my share of cake. Yes, life shouldn't depend on men alone. I firmly made up my mind. When I was five years old, the dream of my previous life quickly faded away, but it provided me with enough information to judge the situation.

I was not really feminine in my past life and I was the only woman in my family. To be exact, I was like a man in a woman's body. I was the leader of my three younger brothers. After our parents died in a sudden car crash, I had to take care of my younger siblings with the leftover inheritance money and was always forced to make sacrifices.

Dressing in my favorite clothes, hanging out with friends after school, or dating was nothing more than a blow to me. Since the cost of living for my younger brothers was more important than spending time for myself, I always had to endure until I died at the age of 19. I had a hard time living. The only break I had was when I went to sleep. I spent all of my breathers on working part-time. I couldn't live with only a part time job for the rest of my life, so I had to study harder to get a stabler job.

I memorized English words on the ceiling above my bedspread. The word table was arranged in an easily memorizable algorithm and was on a piece of paper glued to the ceiling. I would mutter what I had memorized during my part-time job. I also paid attention to the fact that my younger siblings, without parents, could not get enough love and attention if I only focused on studying and working. When people saw me like that, they would call me boorish.

I, who lived such a hectic life, had only one hobby that I worked for, and that was reading romance novels. My hobby of reading books was so that I could enrich my soul, and it was informative and fun. It was my only source of entertainment. I spared time every once in a while so that I could read romance novels. Some days I said to myself that I would only read for ten minutes, but when I started reading, I already read through the whole thing. Of course, one of the books I read was the book in question.

The contents of the novel was dark, but in the end, it was a happy ending. Wait, no, was it a happy ending? Actually, I can't really remember well. When I had the dream about my previous life, pieces of information from the novel came out from time to time, like 'One after the other', but when I woke up, my memories faded away.

Even though I can't remember anything else, this fact was clear—The heroine of the novel, Hestia, ends up with no one. She is torn between her choices and the novel ends.

The author of the novel seriously favored Hestia. They gave her only good traits such as being motherly and other abilities, and not any abilities for the supporting role, Charine. Still, there were always many people around Charine because she had a close relationship with Hestia. The problem was that the character Charine, was a character with a personality like kimchi soup. She used to mistake that anyone approaching her was because of Hestia's charm. So when the person she cared about confessed to Hestia, she would feel betrayed and swear at Hestia.

In the book, she was jealous and a slow-moving child, and her end was not good. From the information I got from my dreams, in the book, she lost all of her money to the other nobles around her, and her status gets sold to some rich commoners. In the process, she gets married off to some rich family.

Thanks to the developments of the novel, my current life will be a series of broken relationships. No matter how much I saw the future in my dreams, the feelings I had in my heart will probably not change. Through repeated demonstrations, I was finally able to find the pattern. First, I get interested, then I get closer and find out that I like them as more than a friend. Second, when I come up to confess, they ask me to connect them to Hestia.

It was a bit like this. Repeatedly this turn of defeat led me to naturally give up during my childhood and change my goal into making a lot of money to expand my options in the future. Hestia sat in front of me and I watched her weave flowers. Sitting in the sun's best spot, her skin glowed even more. It was hard to distinguish which one was the actual flower.

Hestia, who came to my house today, was working hard to make a wreath for my head. Her pinkish hair drifted in the wind, and you could see her bulging green eyes through them. She had bright cheeks and was a very lucky child. Hestia smiled and tilted her head as I looked away.

"Char? Is there something on my face?"

"I wish for another good year. "

"Hmm?"

"The future is guaranteed."

Hestia smiled at me, saying, "I don't know what you're talking about again."

Hestia and I have been friends since birth. After realizing that this was the world of a novel, I have tried to distance myself from Hestia so that my future would be brighter. But Hestia was deeply rooted in my life.

First of all, our parents were really close, and Hestia couldn't just stand by and let me go, acting like my brothers in my previous life. So far, I've just continued being her friend.

"Did Char apply for the admission into the academy this time?"

Hestia suddenly started talking while I was thinking. I was surprised and answered quickly.

"Ah? Oh. Uh-huh."

Hestia put the wreath on my head and blew it into my cheeks.

"Geez! That's too much! I said we had to apply together!"

"I thought that too, so I've already applied for you."

"Oh! Really? Wow, we'll be together at the Academy! Yayy!"

Her green pupils glistened into the shape of a half moon. Hestia clapped and laughed.

"I know it's great, take this."

I pulled out a letter, turning back my expression into it's original state. On top of the pretty pink letter, said, "To Hestia." This love letter was also asked of me to deliver. The boy who fell for Hestia this time was, Eric, a child of another person, who looked pretty good. He seemed to have smart features of those looking forward to the future.

"What's this? A love letter? Is it yours? You're pretty popular, aren't you?"

Hestia showed interest in my letter. I sighed as I watched Hestia smile and ask if the letter was for me. She then snatched the letter from my hand.

"He's the person I met at the tea party? His name's Eric! Did he get interested in you?"

It's a familiar pattern. Soon she'll have a sorry look. Hestia scowls as she reads the name on the letter.

"Oh... it was for me? It's weird… You're much more prettier & lovelier than me. Why did he come to me?"

As I stood still, Hestia asked those questions with a full smile.

"What's wrong with them? It's weird. Don't you think it's weird too?"

Hestia's smile made me smile.

"Do you want me to hit you?"

At my words Hestia stuck out her tongue and made a grumpy expression.