ch 1: the beginning

Hi my name is not important but if you need something to call me ,then kitty is just fine. Age, I'm older than I look but yet again not important; gender, not important either ,cause if I told you than what's the point of hiding myself in a big blue long sweater with a hoodie with my black and blue bandages. Anything you want to know about me is unimportant cause I'm some how everything and nothing; somewhere and nowhere too and it all happened in a instant but never the less still unimportant . Honestly I don't know what I am anymore but I know I used to be human so now I'm just myself, I guess, and it all started on my death day ...So right now in this exact moment I'm looking at my dead body on the floor right now... how you may ask right now as you're reading this. Weeell let's just say that I was dancing like know one was watching and might I add that I wasn't a very good one despite my mom wanted me to take dance classes. Still me and with my dumb old self I ended up slipping on some water that was on the floor and hit my head . Definitely not the way I imagine how it'd go down when the time comes,I mean I knew I was going to die young and all. I  just thought God was going to make me pay for my sin's on Earth before he sent me to hell just  like  how my mom would always  tell me  that that's were am going. Now don't get me wrong it's not like I'm a total prick nor I'm an asshole or, nothing at all big and grand like murder but I could have done somethings that would have helped my mom live longer and they were simple too. Then again who am I to complain with how God wants me to go but seriously I've been here looking at my body for 2 hours now. Shouldn't I be in hell right now or gone to heaven so God can send me to hell where I know he's going to send me and were I belong .  Maybe it wasn't my time yet and I'm in like in limbo and this is what it's like or death is just taking his sweet time to come take me to my hell as part of my torture  .so I'm  just there watching my body until my time comes I guess.... I wonder if anyone has  noticed that am died yet. I bet not since it's only been two hours as I pronounce myself died and all.well I least I think it's been two hours  due to the fact that I have a horrible concept of time... heck I've even forgotten my own birthday  i mean who forgets there birthday , oh well .So I'm just sat there for what felt like five more minutes just waiting for  my internal torture. Then all of a sudden and out nowhere there was  a bright light  that is consuming  and tearing me to bits and pieces. As I yelled and screamed in excruciating pain as if I'm being eaten alive and tortured by my worst enemy . I start  seeing my  whole life flash before me in slow motion and might I say my life was pitiful one, not even worth living if I'd really looked back on it while I was alive. There were so many things I could have done better  but, hey don't we all have those thoughts in our heads but don't really act upon it . Anyway as all these images and memories pass through my mind at what feels like a snail like pace but in reality there going by a million miles per hour I feel at first a tear falling down my cheeks as it soon turns into a stream as I begin to realize that what my mom said was true that I'm really am  a useless piece of shit. I mean I have not done a single thing to make her proud of me nor  even made her feel a slight bit of happiness not one single time. All i really done  is cause grief , pain and, worry for my loved ones.so I just continue to cry my life out as I'm still being consumed by the excruciating and blinding light as I wait for it to be done if it ever does; who knows this might be my punishment for all eternity but thankfully after what felt like an eternity. The pain  begins to slowly vanishes as I'm still crying over  my own dumb self ,I then hear a comforting and soothing voice that sounds just like my mother . As I hear i start to calm down hearing her voice as she brings my loud crying to a halt only for seconds later  that feelings of confusion and bewilderment came upon me as I open my now puffy eyes to see my mom . Wait there's no way I'm  in heaven,I mean I've done so much wrong to my mother I don't really belong there to begin with much less be there with her by my side. Then I hear  my mother's voice again as she pulls me out of my own self-loathing, as I hear her saying "hi sweetie guess what I'm you're Mommy".  I  then briefly look up at her When she said that and I started to take notice of my surrounding only to discover that I'm in a hospital room, Not only that but that I'm in a baby's bodys. I slowly but surely  finally coming to a full understanding  that I'm no longer looking at my decaying body or a sprit  but; at a women  who looks just like my mother but at the sometime it feels like she isn't. It's weird really but what you going to do, I do end up crying again but this time tears of joy. As I realize that I've been given a second chance  that I've been reborn again ; that I can now make it up to my mom for the wrong I've done even if it ain't really her but who cares a chance is a chance. So with that though in my head I begin to feel sleepy and cuddle up to my "mom"knowing myself that I'll do better by her this time..