Chapter 4 - Eros

December 5, 2022

A new way of living is upon young couples and I shall set that example.

I ascend from my sleep as I see Aileen isn't here, it's 9:34 am.I don't remember her having work today ? Maybe I'm losing it finally.I got out of bed as I went straight for the kitchen with my slippers and bathrobe.I see nothing here, not a note or anything; I'll try calling.

I wait as when I call I get sent straight to voicemail, very suspicious.I could've sworn she doesn't work today, she doesn't work till Tomorrow.I texted her on on messages

"Aileen Where you at ?"

"You okay ?"

"Love ya "

I sent more and more with each minute as I worried, I might just be overreacting.Fuck it I thought, I'll just sleep some more; what the hell I got to do today ? I headed back for the bed and removed the bathrobe and took off my slippers.

I jumped on the bed as that little itch of wondering the worst for Aileen is still sitting stiff.I bared it no mind as I got nice and cozy as I rested again.

4:15 pm

I awoke again in a great pain as the way I positioned myself to sleep was obscure.I got out of bed again as I put on the slippers and bathrobe again.I got into the kitchen to see nothing again, I looked at my phone as I got no response again.Now I should really start freaking out, this isn't normal at all; I only had one option to call now.

"Hello…Janice ….. have you seen Aileen ?" I asked as she replied

"Aileen, oh we were hanging out earlier at my home but she left a while ago …"

I was starting put the puzzle together as I asked

"Do you know what time she left ?"

She thought about it as she replied

"Around 2 pm …..maybe earlier …."

I was distraught as I can think of so many possibilities but I had one in mind.

"Okay thanks Janice …" I hung up quickly as I sat on the living room couch in distress.

I put on the television as I watched Taxi Driver ( 1976).In the moment of the movie playing the front door opened; it was Aileen.She walked in a happy mood as I jumped and asked

"Where the hell were, I was worried- thinking something happened ?"

She laughed this off as she replied

"Whoa relax man …. I just got off work…."

I was stunned as I said

"You don't work today- why do you gotta lie ?"

She got defensive as she said

"The fuck are you talking about, I work today like usual- something I don't see you doing much …"

She remarked as I was offended as I said

"The hell you say ?" She backed away towards the front as I pinned her against it.

She seemed thrilled by this as she wouldn't stop smiling and smirking.

"What the hells so funny, I was worried the worst happened to you and you Waltz right in here ?"

She scoffed as I grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her along to the living room couch.She groaned when I threw her as she said

"You're hurting me …." She looked distraught as I did feel bad then as I replied

"Oh I'm sorry ….please I'm sorry " I went in for a hug of passion as she scratched me with her nails; she scratched up my face.I backed up in pain as I leg out a cry of pain.

"Ahh what the Fuck !?" I said as she got off the couch and replied

"You see how it feels being abused, you fucking asshole !"

She headed for the kitchen as she got a kitchen knife once again; I'd assume the same one from last time.

I was still dazed by the cuts as it cut deep, I was bleeding from my face.She approached me again as I laughed,

"Oh Christ there you go again- you're fucking crazy !" I yelled as she lifted the knife again and ran at me with it.

I reacted fast and calm as I got to get a punch in, I punched her in the nose as she quickly stopped and dropped the knife.She groaned as I kicked the knife away from us; I approached her.She backed away as this is all just a repeating cycle.

"Get away !" She yelled as she slapped me away with her right hand and had her left arm covering her nose bleed.

"Get out, leave !" She yelled as I didn't feel this urge of fighting as i exited laughingly.

I got out as she in moment got a fruit from the table and threw it at me but missed as she hit the door instead.I walked the hallways as all you hear is her yells as the neighbors became aware.Some opened the doors and gave a look as I walked past them to the elevator.I pushed it for the first floor as I looked forward to see neighbors give bad looks, I didn't care.

As the elevator goes down and I hear the elevator music, I get dizzy.I nearly collapse on in this death box as I hear each ding, the light inside get dim.I just remember these memories, the nice sweet memories I had with Aileen; then the bad thoughts come in.

I walked out of the apartment as Aileen put our whole relationship on display as I got hit with a plate from above.

"Ahh, You crazy bitch !" I yelled as people passing by looked on to see the disaster.she was throwing anything she could get her hands on from up the kitchen window; I jumped each time.

After the plate, she threw in this exact order; a ceramic cup, a book about a child's mind and a kitchen knife.She threw it in an aiming direction as it nearly got me.

"Don't you ever, ever ever come back ! You lousy lazy good for nothing Bastard !" She yelled so much I'm sure a few neighborhoods around could hear her.

"You need serious help, you're fucked in the head !" I yelled as I looked around to see the scene were causing.I walked away from this with my head down as she continued shouting more outlandish things from that window.

I got sick of it for now as I got back to where my sister lives, I called her a couple times but she doesn't answer.I was outside her apartment building as if I remember her schedule; she's either at work or out with her kids.I put the door code and entered the apartment very quietly as I went upstairs to her door.

I saw her door was open as I entered to see no one home, I made myself at home for the moment; I got about an hour tops.I went straight for the kitchen as I got a trash bag quickly as I ransacked her pantries.I took any snacks I could find and any things I pleased.

After taking what I enjoy, I got the hell out of there; I walked down the stairs with the black bag behind my back as I carry it.I see an apartment child playing by himself with some toys.He's sitting on the ground in front of his apartment door as he looked up at me.He offered me a little stuffy bunny toy, it fit in the palm of my hand.

"Thanks man …." I said as I got a box of cookies and a soda out of the bag and left it aside the kid.

He went and opened the cookie box and went to eating them as I walked out of the apartment building with the stuff bunny in the black bag.I looked around the streets to see nothing going on today, I looked in my pockets to see I only had 46$ left; that's all I have to my name.

I started walking towards that same liquor store I've seen Jason and them hang out.As I walked, I see the streets looking empty as each car that vrooms gives me annoyance.The noise it does as it zooms by is such a shame to sound itself.I got to the liquor store to see none of them there, no one is sitting in front of the store; loitering.

I walked inside the store as I went straight for the alcohol section and got a bottle of whiskey.After I exited the store I carried the bottle by hand and still had the black bag around me; I looked like a bum.I walked towards the same park me and Aileen were at not so long ago; Wendell Park.I can't explain how I loathe going to places I share special memories with someone I find special.I can't see it the same anymore, it doesn't have any meaning if it's not with one you had a reason to be there with.

I got there as I sat on a park Bench under a tree as I looked at the sky to get a quick remembrance.

August 17, 2022

"Hey you made it !" She said as she was sitting on that park bench under that tree.She was wearing denim shorts and a crop top and I still can't get over her eyes; those goddamn eyes.

"I did- I did…I didn't think you'd show up …. Thought I would've been left hanging …" I replied as I got up close and sat aside her.We both smiled as it was an awkward silence for a brief moment until she asked "you wanna get on those swing sets ?" She got up as I followed her as she answered for me I see.

She got on it as she asked again "push me man, I wanna go high !" I got behind her as I did so.She laughed with each push as I was laughing more at this fun exchange.

"Come on higher man, I'm trying to fly !" She said as I gave a good push as she did go dangerously high.She came down as I got out of the way, she noticed and laughed more.

"Why you running man ?, hehe …" her momentum stopped as she laid her shoes in the sand.I walked up to her as she said "sit next to me man …"

I got on the other swing set as we sat there and we're in silence again.

The wind hit as she looked over at me and asked

"This is odd isn't it ?" She asked as I was confused and replied "what do you mean ?"

She swung a little on the swing as she added on

"Just weird we just met yesterday and we're hanging out now…I guess people are just so friendly now …."

I found that funny as I said

"Well it is weird now….people are strange you know …. Guess we just aren't that weird …."

She looked at me again as she laughingly said

"That's makes no fucking sense, haha …."

We both laughed as we swung around the swings as it was enjoyable but boring.

Come back to present day and I can explain how miserable that date was but how enjoyable the memory is.I sit on the same spot we were as I hate how I remember each detail of that day was.I should've never gone, then maybe none of us would be suffering right now.

I opens the whiskey bottle as I began to down it with ease; I didn't finish it but i consumed a generous amount.I put the bottle aside me- exactly where she sat.i went through the black trash bag as I got out the same box of cookies I gave the little kid.I began to eat some as it was enjoyable.

I then got out a pop tart as I made a little cookie pop tart sandwich, It was such a minimalistic monstrosity.Each bite was as enjoyable as the last and I can't fathom how much pleasure the whiskey gives as its cherry on top.I then looked again to get out a bag of chips as I began to each those too, I was careless.

I looked through my phone as I looked through my messages, I have messages from old friends but I never answer them.I see Aileen had messaged me multiple times now.

"Where are you ?"

"Are you okay ?"

"Come home please !!!"

It such a broken life that she had as I start to laugh at these messages.I left everything I had and started walking back to her home.I looked at my phone as I looked at the messages again to see I still have some hope in life.

7:35 pm

i got home as I saw a neighbor entering the building as I barely caught up to him to slip into the place.

"Oh shit…." Said the neighbor as I replied

"What's up man …. I'm just trying to get upstairs and I forgot my keys …sorry for startling you …"

He took a deep breath as we walked, we got to the elevator.I pushed the button as we got in as it silent in the ride up as I asked

"Having a good night ?" He looked at me and replied

"Yea…you ?"

I took a deep breath as I said

"Ehh could be worse, hehe …."

The elevator doors opened as we both got out on the same floor.I walked up to the apartment door as I saw it was open.The neighbor walked by as he saw this and realize I'm the neighbor they saw fighting earlier.

I got in as I see she's not in the living room and is sleeping in the bedroom.I walked into the room slowly as I got up next to her.I went into hold her right as she woke up slowly as I whispered "I'm home baby …"

She accept the holding as she replied

"Oh I missed you baby …"

We slept together in comfort as the night ended on an aggressive but progressive note.

December 7, 2022

1:23 pm

A fast food parking lot was our playground for the day as the theme was a tragic delight.

"Now what do you want to eat ?" I asked as she replied "I'm not hungry…" I know she is she just doesn't want to admit it.I sighed as I got out of the car and said "I'll be back …."

I slammed the door as I walked up to the In-N-Out Burger as a person held the door for me.

"Thank you " I said as I walked in, I got in line as I was next up; says going good.I checked my pockets to see I had a 20$ bill left, all I'm worth now.

"Hi can I get two hamburgers, one cheeseburger , one double-double and two fries…."

The worker rang it up quick as I handed over the 20$ and got my number to be called; number 66 on the receipt.I went and sat down as I looked over to see a couple looking happy and in love; should I be so lucky.

I looked out the window of place as I see Aileen having the seat rolled back so she could rest herself for the moment.I looked around the place again as I see all sorts of colorful characters.Some people looking like vampires and others looking like they're stuck in the 50s and even some dressed in suits; very odd.Such a wild cast of humans in one area, feels like a fever dream.

I heard my number get called as I go to pick it up, I took the two bags as I accidentally bumped into a woman holding her food.It causes a stir no one pays it much attention as I say "oh my god, I'm so sorry- Christ …" I place my two bags on the counter as I help clean up with her as she responds,

"No it's on me, that's all on me I'm sorry …."

She had mainly trash as she's finished her food ad it was some wrappers and fries cup with some used up sauce packets.

"I was finished eating anyways so no worries …." She smirked in the moment as we cleaned up fast, not much a problem.

"You guys alright ?" Said the worker as we both said

"Yes ..".

"Yea …"

The worker shrugged it off as I got the tray up for her and placed it on top of the trash can; this altercation sparked an interest for us.

"I'm real sorry again…." I said as I walked back towards my food as she shrugged it off but approached with a random favor.

"It's cool man….hey I don't know if this is any trouble, might be the weirdest thing you hear but can I get a ride somewhere ?- you came in a car right- I'm assuming ?"

I shocked but answered her request as I replied

"Yea-yes I did well my girl brought me, she's in the parking lot waiting but I'm sure she wouldn't mind …come on …"

I got the two bags and we both headed out of the place as I approached Aileen's car, she was still laid back.

"Aye Aileen, hey !" I said as I knocked on the glass of the car door, she got up quick as she saw me.She lowered the window as she noticed the girl and asked "who's that ?" I looked over at the girl again as I asked her "what's your name ?"

She simply replied

"Stella " a unique but odd name now a days I think.I turned back to Aileen and explained

"It's Stella, she's wondering if we could give her a ride somewhere- where'd you wanna go ?" I turned quickly towards Stella as she said

"LSU….it's a college not so far from-" Aileen interrupted her as she said

"I know where it is….alright ….come on in…. "

We got back into the car as Stella got in the backseat as Aileen gave me dirty looks.I placed the food near my feet as I looked at Aileen and said

"You okay ?" She started driving as it was recklessly; she drove like a drunk.

"Aileen Christ don't kill us now …." I said as she said

"Oh why not, why does it matter ?" I was perplexed as I looked at Stella in the backseat as she looked scared.

"You're scaring her just calm down …." I yelled as Aileen was fuming.

"How do you know how she feels, you fuck her ?"

I was more shocked as me and Stella tried to defend that blatant lie.

"Whoa !"

"Come on that's just uncalled for "

"Why would you something like that …."

This got Aileen more flustered as she said

"What am I wrong, Stella would you fuck him ?"

Stella was stunned as she replied

"I'm not comfortable answering that …."

This got Aileen more mad as she said

"Well why not, because you would huh, you just want him to go back there and fuck the shit out of you huh ?"

This angered me as I said

"Can you not Aileen- just fucking stop; you're sounding crazy ?"

She got her eyes locked on me as I said

"Keep your eyes on the road- Aileen stop playing, watch the road !"

She replied

"No, no no no - I don't need too- I'll crash this right fucking now- what do I got to lose- tell me what I got to lose huh- I know you don't love me …."

I tried to argue this without making her do something more idiotic than she is now.

"Look I love you Aileen - I do fucking crash- Stella has nothing to do with this; I just met her ….come on just stop I love you baby….you know I do ….just look at the fucking road please ….."

she finally looked forward as she hit the brakes as she was about to hit another car.

I took a breath of relief as I looked over at Stella she was worrisome and breathing heavily.She got out of the car as we were at a light, I was confused.

"Aye where you going ?" I asked as she got to the sidewalk and said

"I'll just walk it …." I looked at Aileen as she didn't care but I felt bad.

"Hey come on I'm sorry for this, sorry if we did something wrong just- come on we'll get there …."

She was furious as she said

"No thanks, I'd rather walk- you two are fucking crazy …." We we're both shocked as Aileen said

"Yea fuck you bitch !" Stella flipped us off as she continued walking as we drove off home.

I began looking through the food bag as I started eating some French fries and thought about what Stella had just said.

"What a bitch huh ?" I said to Aileen as she nodded and said

"Yea, the hell she think she is saying that, is crazy ?, hehe …"

I handed her a fry as I fed it to her as we both laughed at the comment as we nearly got home.