Chapter 017

Jun cast a glance at Yan, then turned and went into the courtyard. She wanted to change the water for Ling and add some millet. However, when she checked the parrot's cage, the water bowl was clean, and the food tray was full. She had already taken care of these things before it got dark.

At this moment, Ling was napping with its eyes closed. Trying to engage it in conversation or make it happy didn't seem very likely.

Jun had no choice but to face Yan, who had followed her into the courtyard.

"You were saying..." Yan probably sensed that Jun was trying to pick a fight and was intentionally avoiding him.

"Saying what?" Jun replied irritably.

"About my question, a rag doll, with needles in and out, talking to it, and then throwing it into the well, this girl..."

"This girl is crazy, she's a lunatic!"

Jun became even more impatient. She couldn't explain why she suddenly felt so angry with Yan, perhaps because she was enduring intense pain and trying to remember the time when Yan was her childhood friend, and their relationship was innocent, but he was thinking about another girl.

"If you don't know, just say you don't know. There's no need to insult people for no reason; it makes you look particularly unkind," muttered Yan quietly.

"I'm unkind?" Jun immediately exploded, "Am I unkind, or is your darling little lump of dough unkind?"

"What's this about my darling little lump of dough? That's not true; you shouldn't say such hurtful things."

Though Yan said this, he couldn't help but avoid eye contact with Jun, not daring to face her directly.

This only made Jun angrier. "Wasn't it your darling little lump of dough that you chased from inside to outside? You dare to do but not admit it, what kind of man are you?"

"What did I do?" Yan chuckled, "Okay, I admit it, it's my darling little lump of dough. Now, can you tell me what you want to say?"

Jun was a bit bewildered; this exchange had made her forget what the original issue was.

Yan had to patiently remind, "A rag doll, with needles in and out, talking to it, and..."

"Your darling little lump of dough is just unkind..." Jun immediately recalled, "Pinning needles into a doll? That's nothing but a prank, a curse that wishes ill on others. And it's not even a clever prank or curse; it's the kind of trick a simple-minded old lady from the countryside would play."

Yan's expression visibly darkened. "But then, she removed the needles..."

"That's because she got scared, scared that someone would find out."

"She kept the doll in her embrace..."

"Hmph, putting on an act."

"She threw it into the well..."

"Revealing her true colours."

Jun's words left Yan speechless. He contemplated for a moment and said, "Why are you so harsh? Why don't you have anything good to say about anyone?"

"Am I harsh? Well, it's all because of your darling little lump of dough that I've become this way. But let's not digress. Have you checked that doll? There might be a name written on it, the name of your darling little lump of dough's enemy."

"I did check, and there was indeed..." Yan raised his head and calmly met Jun's gaze.

"What did I say? Whose name was it?"

"Er Niu."

Jun's heart skipped a beat. She instinctively thought Er Niu was herself, but upon closer consideration, she realized that the people around her were either close sisters like Yu Gege or trusted confidantes like Deling and Rongling. Who could hate her so deeply and resort to such underhanded means?

As the saying goes, there are plenty of "Er Niu" in Beijing. Throw a stone, and you'll hit ten people, and eight of them will be named Er Niu.

Jun felt relieved, but Yan continued to hold on tightly. He asked Jun to reflect on whether, if that "Er Niu" was her, she had truly been unkind and pushed someone to a desperate point.

After Yan finished speaking, he casually picked a grape and offered it to Ling, perhaps realizing that his words had been a bit too heavy. He hoped Ling's presence would help ease the tension and change the subject.

"Little Zou and Second Niu, hand in hand wherever go," Ling responded as expected.

"Hand in hand with what?" Jun knocked the grape away. "Yan, I can understand you being infatuated and lovestruck, but could you please be fair as well? If someone writes my name on a doll and pins needles into it, tell me, who's unkind, me or the one sticking needles into the doll?"

Yan pondered for a moment. "I don't think you're right. Jun, she's not that kind of person. She would never do something like that."

Jun couldn't help but give Yan a disdainful look.

"Don't give me that look," Yan said with a serious expression. "Your disdainful look just reminded me of something, and it shows what kind of person you are..."

Jun turned away to play with Ling, pretending not to want to hear Yan sing praises of his girl. However, his words flowed like a gentle stream, gradually seeping into Jun's heart, even though she tried to ignore them.

Yan recounted that it was not long after Jun entered the palace. On one occasion, Empress Dowager Cixi had a new dress made and showed it off in front of everyone. Princess Rong was the first to comment, and perhaps due to her recent widowhood, her words were surprisingly lacking in discretion. She remarked on how Empress Dowager Cixi, at over sixty years old, was still wearing such a youthful and pink colour, and it was quite... Fortunately, Princess Rong hadn't completely lost her wits and managed to swallow down the comparison of painting an old cucumber green.

Empress Dowager Cixi was furious but, given the princess's high status and the fact that she had spoken the truth, she could only vent her anger on Princess Rong's personal maidservant.

With a thunderous rebuke, she scolded the maidservant for her lack of decorum and daring to roll her eyes at her, asking who had the audacity. The maidservant was terrified, her very soul seemed to have fled, and she didn't care whether she had actually rolled her eyes or not. She quickly knelt down and begged for mercy.

Empress Dowager Cixi was relentless and ordered her attendants to restrain the maidservant. She decided to start by gouging out the maidservant's eyes.

"Everyone was utterly shocked..." Yan's trickle of words turned into a loud clamour, "At this critical moment, guess what, Jun..."

"Jun stepped forward and squarely put the blame on herself. She said that it was her fault entirely, as she had unintentionally confused people with her use of words. She thought that 'favourable attention' meant to roll one's eyes."

Jun spoke rapidly, without noticing the expressions on Yan's face – his surprise, confusion, and even a hint of excitement.

"How did you know?" Yan's voice trembled.

Yes, how did I know? Jun started to think, but she quickly stopped. She was worried that the excruciating pain would return unexpectedly. She had experienced too much in this one night, to the point where even the mere thought of pain made her turn pale.

"You needn't worry about how I know. How about you? How do you know?" Jun cleverly responded with a question. "The inner palace is filled with women, unless you're a eunuch serving the Empress Dowager Cixi?"

Yan waved his hand, indicating that he would pretend he hadn't said anything. This topic had become somewhat boring, and continuing it would be a waste of time.

"When you mentioned the Empress Dowager's clothing, it reminds me of something..."

Innocent Yan completely failed to realize that Jun was mimicking his opening lines.

"You asked me about a girl changing her clothes and putting on makeup to become someone else..."

Yan quickly looked up at Jun with a gaze that was both nervous and hopeful.

"Of course, it's possible. Ever heard of the old saying ? Even a monkey, after taking a bath and putting on clothes, can look like a human, let alone a person."

"I'm telling you something serious; can you also be serious? Don't go off on tangents about monkeys and eunuchs," Yan clearly didn't appreciate Jun's humour.

"Then it depends on you," Jun became serious as well. "If you keep thinking about someone in your heart, anyone could potentially become the person you're thinking about."

"So, what you mean is, changing clothes and makeup can't actually turn one person into another?" Yan, being a straightforward guy, didn't catch the underlying meaning in Jun's words.

"Or it could be as simple as this: if you're constantly thinking about her, then anyone could appear to be her in your eyes. Of course, there's another possibility too – maybe you don't really know her at all. She might be quite adept at presenting different versions of herself depending on what she wears."

Yan scratched his head, clearly struggling to grasp the complexity of Jun's answer.

"It's okay, if you don't understand, just keep asking. Consider it a willingness to learn," Jun encouraged.

Yan glanced at the sky, then took out his pocket watch.

Jun furrowed her brow. It wasn't the first time Yan had checked his watch. She knew they had been up since yesterday evening and into the early morning hours, but she didn't think Yan needed to remind her of wasting his time in this way.

"Go ahead, ask your question. Opportunities like this are rare," she urged.

"I was going to ask about... you see, I still..." Yan guided Jun's gaze towards the main gate.

Jun was suddenly struck by something, her cheeks flushed, and her voice took on a sharp tone. "So, after all the things the match maker said, you haven't listened to a word of it, have you…"

Yan's bewildered expression indicated that he hadn't received any clear signals from the match maker yet.

"She said just giving me a bird wouldn't be enough," Jun continued, disregarding her embarrassment. "You have to accompany me. Nothing can replace your presence. You have to treat me well. "

Yan looked at Jun in astonishment, clearly not expecting their relationship to progress to such an intimate level.

"Aren't you afraid that Deqi will barge in and take me away again?" Jun used Deqi as an excuse.

"He wouldn't dare to come in. As long as you stay inside, nothing will happen," Yan's words were completely devoid of any romantic sentiment.

"Never mind, forget it. You can go now. Your body is here, but your mind isn't. Staying here is like having a piece of wood," Jun conceded.

Yan felt relieved and then showed a delighted expression. "Alright, then I'll go."

As soon as the words were spoken, this person turned and hurried toward the main gate.

"You can't leave, only a fool would leave," a voice boomed from nowhere.

Jun and Yan jumped in surprise, immediately looking around.

"Match maker?" Jun tentatively called out.

"What match maker? It's me, I'm your neighbour."

Now Jun confirmed the source of the voice and, along with Yan, walked to the side of the courtyard wall.

"She was just venting. She didn't want you to leave. Haven't you read 'Dream of the Red Chamber'? That part about Lin daiyu avoiding Baoyu when he came over. Girls, their words are rarely truthful. Young man, you just need to interpret them the opposite way," the voice continued.

Jun blushed deeply when her thoughts were accurately read.

"I couldn't tell," Yan yelled at the sky. "And by the way, is it appropriate to eavesdrop on people by the courtyard wall?"

"Hey, you foolish young man, you can't distinguish the good from the bad. It's your fault for not recognizing the true face of Mount Lu, only because you were born on this mountain."

The footsteps on the other side of the wall gradually faded away.

Not long after, they returned.

"If you don't want others to eavesdrop, then speak more quietly. It's late at night, so let people sleep in peace. It's the neighbourhood, show some public etiquette."

Jun and Yan were scolded by their neighbour and turned beet red.

"Should I go or not?" Yan hesitated. "What do you mean by that?"

"Go ahead!" Jun snapped at Yan. "I don't have so many hidden meanings. If you like a doll, just hug it. If you don't, then give it away. Sticking needles in it and pulling them out, what else can that be but weird?"

"So, should I really leave?" Yan's mind was entirely focused on the outside.

Jun nodded decisively at Yan.

Yan turned and left, his back filled with joy.

Jun sighed. It seemed this person was also straightforward. Just now, when she had made some veiled comments, he hadn't caught on at all.