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Gambit of the Living Weapon

Fantaisie
Terminé · 881K Affichage
  • 306 Shc
    Contenu
  • 4.7
    48 audimat
  • NO.200+
    SOUTIEN
Synopsis

Evlin was having quite the odd day. One moment, she was returning from school and making her way home, next thing she knows, she is standing in a wide room surrounded by knights and a young prince who keeps talking about how he will make her his queen. Feeling short on options, she steals the staff from one of his mages and uses it to run as far away as possible! Only problem is, she has no idea where she is, what to do, or who to trust. In a world of demons, gods, and magic... ...all she has is a loose clue from a fellow traveler from another world, the famous hero known as the Living Weapon! A man with the ability to turn his body into the world's strongest blade, and her best chance to return home! **Need a cover for your novel? Dm me on discord!**

Étiquettes
5 étiquettes
Chapter 1Night of the encounter

Marceus was feeling pretty good about himself.

He and his teammates had finally managed to corner the monster that kept harassing his village for the last four months. Every day the creature would come out at night and start rampaging like a wild beast scaring all the animals and villagers until it got bored.

The village was very simple, just a few dozen houses and small buildings surrounded by a large wall to keep the wild creatures away. But it still was all that these people had, so they desperately needed the monster to be gone.

Everyone kept asking Marceus and his party to just deal with the thing already since they were designated as the guardians of that area, but there was little that he could do unfortunately. The creature was big as a chariot, black like the night, and fast like the wind so it was near impossible to find it, catch it, and defeat it.

They tried setting up traps to stop his movements but it also proved to be rather intelligent and always managed to avoid every single one of them. One day one of Marceus's teammates finally managed to land a hit on it, but even that wasn't enough as its skin seemed to be harder than rocks.

The tired warrior tried to ask for help from the villagers, trying to gather any sort of information that could help him end the beast. Maybe his movement patterns, his choice of spot for attacks, at what time he would come out, but nobody could aid him. The creature seemed to be as random as you can get.

It would come out when it felt like it, sometimes just as the sun was about to set, sometimes minutes before the start of dawn. Its attacks were directed to just about anyplace it could reach, it could go for any the houses or farms. And even its movements didn't make sense. At times it would run like a person in two legs, other times it would appear rolling like a ball hitting anything around it, other times it would just come from the sky, smash a building and then leave.

Nothing about it made sense. The village guardians tried to follow the thing back to its lair but it was way too fast for any of them. They would search the forest that the creature would disappear into but nothing was found.

But one night, Marceus and his teammates finally got lucky.

Just like always, the beast would appear out of nowhere and start creating destruction, even starting a fire by accident in the process. The villagers started to panic and tried to run away from it, it looked like it was going to be another night of frustration for everyone involved when suddenly, the creature froze still. It was in the middle of flipping over a chariot when its eyes suddenly caught a glimpse of something that drew all of its attention.

"Finally feel like calming down?" Said Marceus while approaching the monster.

The two of them were staring deeply at each other in the middle of the village. A man with both black hair and eyes and a strong build covered in a suit of armor, and in front of him, a beast, a huge shadow with the shape of a lion walking on two legs with eyes drenched in the color of blood and claws so sharp that it could cut a boulder by accident.

Both were participating in a staring contest with each other.

Or so it looked like, but in fact, the monster was looking at what Marceus was holding. On one hand, a sharp small knife that was shinning with the light from the fire caused by the destruction started by the creature. His other arm holding a woman very tightly while pointing the knife at her neck.

"Now, we have confirmed that it is somewhat intelligent. I wonder if it can talk." said the armored man.

The creature glared at him with immense rage as if it wanted to chop his head off, but the man simply smirked.

"You want to kill me?" he asked, "Your eyes tell me this is making you really angry for some reason. You attack this place every night but you never try to harm anyone, I wonder why that is."

The woman started to cry in fear, her whole body was shaking. With a low voice, she let out one word "Please..."

Seeing that, the beast started to approach the two of them slowly and a sound could be heard coming out of it "Coward..."

Marceus froze for a second but quickly returned to reality "So the feared beast can indeed talk! Now that is something interesting!"

As if ignoring the scared hostage the two started to engage in a discussion.

"You wear the appearance of a knight but you use a defenseless person as a shield?" asked the beast.

"I would have preferred to avoid such a situation I admit, but it's not like you gave me and my team many options. You are like a hurricane just coming and going as it pleases, what was I supposed to do? "

"You were supposed to protect the people. Isn't that why they called you here?"

"I was called to deal with you, and that is what I am doing right now."

His attitude was cold but deep inside Marceus knew, make one mistake and his life would end right there. Looking at it closer, there was no way he could defeat that thing in a fight. He wasn't expecting it to be able to talk but he was glad some kind of communication could have been reached.

"Now talk, why are you terrorizing this place? Why do you keep coming here every night to go on a rampage and the leave? What do you want?"

"..." the beast remained quiet.

"Don't feel like talking? Alright."

Suddenly more people approached the three of them. More armored warriors dressed like Marceus, his team, all holding hostages with knives at their necks. Children, women, elders, all looking scared and like they could faint at any second.

The beast glared at Marceus "You really are a coward...".

"A coward would have left someone else to do this job. At least I have the guts to talk to you face-to-face."

"I'm going to rip your heart out..."

"Rip...? Not eat...?"

The monster widened his eyes.

"Are you really a monster? Or are you just a person stuck in a monster body?"

"What?"

"You think you are the only one? People that can change their bodies due to a curse from a monster or a blessing from a god? I have met many types of magic or incantations while traveling this kingdom, sorry to say, you are not special."

"..." once again, the beast was silenced.

The creature then started shrinking in size and it's lion-shaped body started to change into that of a human male.

"Let her go..." ordered the brown-haired young lad who used to look like a beast not too long ago. Before he seemed like he could take on three elephants at the same time without a scratch, but now he had arms and legs so thin that it would be a miracle if he could even pick up a sword to defend himself.

Marceus widened his eyes, "Now aren't you just full of surprises? I was expecting a guy with at least a few more muscles, but you look like you could be dragged by the wind at any moment."

"Let... Her... Go..." said the young man with anger in his eyes.

"Yeah... No... The second I do that, you turn into that thing again and play with me like a used toy. I rather talk while hiding behind this very comfortable meat shield."

"Talk... With you...?" the lad's eyes changed from anger to confusion.

"Yeap, talk. I have about twenty different questions about you right now but returning to my first topic, why are you terrorizing this village?"

The silence lingered for a few seconds, only the noise of the fire could be heard. The warriors and villagers wouldn't dare to move afraid of angering the animal or putting the lady in danger.

The brown-haired lad then finally answered "There is a spirit that lingers in this place... Every night it comes out to take a life and drag it to its lair to feed on it. It dragged my cousin, my friend, and my lover... It tried to drag me too one time, but I managed to escape."

Marceus kept listening in quiet. Suddenly many of his questions started to make sense, "This spirit... Only you can see it?"

"...Yes... But I need to stay as a creature to touch it..."

"So those weren't random attacks... You were after the spirit this whole time?"

"I go after where he goes... He tries to hide but I always manage to find him."

"That would explain your rampages and why you never harmed anyone... But why you never tried to communicate with us or the villagers?"

"The spirit has a memory curse... Once the sun rises, everyone will forget any kind of information related to him. In a couple of hours you won't even remember this conversation."

"..." this time Marceus was the one in silence as he processed all this information.

Marceus gestured with his hand to his teammates to release the hostages. The young thin man looked at the villagers and noticed something in their hands, even the scared lady.

"Are those... knives...?" the lad asked while analyzing his surroundings.

Marceus released a smirk and answered him "We were planning to make you think the villagers trusted you and have them stab you in the heart if you tried to protect them. They were never in any danger."

"... A knife wouldn't kill me..." affirmed the lad with a pair of bored eyes as if this attempt at his life was something he would barely consider a threat.

Marceus threw his knife at the lad who grabbed it with one hand "My knives would..."

While holding the knife, the thin man could feel it... There was power on that sharp object... He changed his finger into a beast form and tried to stab it, and to his shock, blood came out. His heart almost stopped. The entire village was holding knives like that? One mistake and he could actually die this time. Cold sweat started to drip from his face.

"Say, kid... When was the last time you ever felt like something could hurt you?" asked the man in armor.

"You... You could have killed me at any time...?"

"Not really... I have these amazing blades but I still can't match your speed. It's only been a year since I received this power after all..."

"Power...?"

"Didn't I tell you? You are not the only one who can change your body."

Marceus removed the armor on his left arm a revealed his bare skin. His hand started to stretch and lose color and what was once human skin now was a reflective material.

Everything below his elbow was now a massive blade with the same energy from the knives the man was holding "What's your name kid?"

"... Daren..." the lad answered with a perplexed expression.

"Nice to meet you, Daren. I'm Marceus, the living weapon. There is nothing in this world that my blades cannot cut and I was tasked to protect this village. Now... How about we go get your spirit?"

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Table des matières
Volume 0 :Auxiliary Volume
Volume 1 :Looking for the right candidate - Prologue
Volume 2 :The lost girl on a new world - Season 1
Volume 3 :Let the games begin!
Volume 4 :Where to next?
Volume 5 :The longest night
Volume 6 :Whispers of death
Volume 7 :Inner demons
Volume 8 :The king of hatred
Volume 9 :Pieces set in motion
Volume 10 :Gambit of the found girl
Volume 11 :The mage's niece - Season 2
Volume 12 :Birth of the first weapon
Volume 13 :New game plus!
Volume 14 :Diverging paths
Volume 15 :The hollow child
Volume 16 :The forgotten forest
Volume 17 :Facing the past
Volume 18 :Realm of secrets
Volume 19 :The final strecth
Volume 20 :The final day
Volume 21 :The war of two girls
Volume 22 :All hail the queen
Volume 23 :Keep the party going! - Season 3
Volume 24 :New Quest Unlocked!
Volume 25 :My own personal hell!
Volume 26 :Scattered
Volume 27 :Final moments together
Volume 28 :The final Battle
Volume 29 :The Final Gambit

audimat

  • Tarif global
  • Qualité de l’écriture
  • Mise à jour de la stabilité
  • Développement de l’histoire
  • Conception des personnages
  • Contexte mondial
Critiques
Aimé
Nouveau
mrmrcia
mrmrciaLv10

I like how Daren is being more of a reasonable person than Marceus. I have qualms about using mockery as an encouragement. Marceus! You can encourage people without teasing and degrading their person! Poor Daren. Evlin is such a savage! I can see why you have her as your favourite. Please give me more Lilith interactions! I've read the entirety of the updates and some concepts still confuse me for some reason, like the origin of beasts and spirits, or did I just miss them? Also, the consistent change of characters in focus is quite distracting. I suggest that you dwell on a particular group for an extended window before moving on to the next. The action scenes are quite abrupt, so it lessens the excitement. You do not need to use such complex words to relay an action; you just have to narrate to the readers what you're seeing in your mind as honestly as possible. I don't think that your grammar is that bad. Although, I have noticed overuse, misuse, and absence of punctuations in several passages. Punctuations are like the backbone of grammar. It allows the writers the opportunity to have better transitions. It is our job as writers to study te very grammar aids in out story-telling, and we are always learning. In addition to this, instead of using just adjectives, can you elaborate more on your descriptions? The readers would like to see the vividness of your imagination! :D I did not say anything out of spite. I hope that you take them as constructive. I'll be cheering you one! Your story has a great setting and there will definitely be readers who will love this utterly.

ShadowsFinger
ShadowsFingerLv5
LemonGrenade
LemonGrenadeLv13

The author is a very talented individual in the art of character design, able to generate long fluid conversations that seem to go on forever which many novels lack. In my opinion, however, that is a flaw. The conversations go on long enough that it starts to give me a headache. The author puts heavy emphasis into the conversations and does not balance it out with the world background. The author does not seem as good with the world background. For example, the prince's castle at the beginning is merely referred to as a "castle" with no additional details. I get a mental image when the term is mentioned, but I get a stale one which has no details. Another example is when the MC is escaping along with her friend, yet most of the writing is down on their conversations rather than their surroundings. In reality, I doubt two people would have the energy to converse when they are fleeing for their life. Other than that, the author does put in the details when it comes to fighting, so props to that. The writing quality is very good and the author does seem to have a direction he/she wants to go in. A personal complaint would be the time skip at the beginning not long after the MC arrives into this world. I feel like a lot of potential was wasted in what could have been invested into character growth. It is like saying the MC survived a life or death situation at point A and then somehow got over it and became stronger in the future at point B. This is merely my opinion however, so just take it as creative criticism. I have not even fully read the novel since I became overwhelmed by the long conversations which take up half of each chapter.

Dann_Giovanni
Dann_GiovanniLv1

Gambit of the Living Weapon is a book of fiction by Breno_Ranyere. Personally, I love the main character and the fact the weapon the protagonist has is a crossbow rather than some enchanting sword or anything similar to this. The other characters are lovable, one that would make readers remember their name even if the book is finished. I've two major flaws that I've found while reading this book, scenes and punctuation. i'm not going to judge your grammar anymore since it's good. The basic principles and fundamentals, I could see that they're followed. Alright, the scenes! When it comes to this part, there were times when my excitement was building up then suddenly the action ends right away. It's a bit too fast if you were to ask me. As for the emotions, I would suggest that you add more feelings rather than using adjectives but don't overdo them. For the descriptions, the best advice I could give you is to add more emotions and actions to prolong it. I will give an example: Quietude succumbed to his mind, draining every emotion. Yes, descriptive, but we could add more emotions and descriptions to this. "Once the quietness arrived, it stayed and spread in Estha. It reached out of his head and enfolded him in its swampy arms…sent its stealthy, suckered tentacles inching along the insides of his skull, hoovering the knolls and dells of his memory, dislodging old sentences, whisking them off the tip of his tongue" A little warning though, only use it during important scenes such as the action because too much will consider your book as "overdescriptive" Next, the punctuation. Punctuation is one thing authors must learn about since it helps when it comes to telling the readers when to pause or how to read that particular sentence. Try reading these sentences: As promised I will give back your money. As promised, I will give back your money. The second sentence has a comma! When one would read the first, they would go straight out without pausing. When one would read the second, there would be a slight pause after the word promise. I know learning punctuation is a difficult task, trust me, I've been there. If I can, you can too! I'll be rooting for you! Overall, it's great! All the author has to improve on is his punctuation and scenes.

Lexi_Star
Lexi_StarLv2
Oniichan_Thickskin
Oniichan_ThickskinLv13

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