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Chapter 12

Through therapy,Paula came to understand that her need for submitting was her attempt to justify who she was.Her upbringing was not strict but she saw in how her mother and her neighbors and even her friends treated gays a disgust with the person who Paula knew she was but who they did not.If her yearnings were forced upon her,she could convince herself that she was not like that.She was just weak and had succumbed to that weakness.It wasn’t her fault.It had not happened often,but it happened,that this woman usually comfortable in her lesbian skin would come to doubt herself.