Chapter 2 - What's more dangerous than a ghost?

"If I ever die and start haunting something like that, kill me again." Charlotte moaned as she opened the passenger door of the red minivan and stepped outside. She turned and cradled George the goblin who was raising his hands expectantly at her. Once she set the little goblin down on the ground she walked to the back, and met Eden who had the door opened for her.

"I don't think that's how it works."

Sun hadn't risen up yet, so it gave her plenty of time to prepare. She, like many of her kind, had an extreme sun intolerance. It'll start with headaches, throwing up and fainting spells and long term exposure will lead to cancer. Yes, the same as humans. Vampires as a species would have been extinct for a long time, if they truly were deathly allergic to the sun. Where on earth can you truly escape from the giant glowing ball up in the sky? That also settled the whole moonlight is still a reflection of the sunlight debate. Humans learned pretty fast, the truly terrifying, creatures of the night were things they hadn't even made up stories before. Not some pale dudes with extremely restrictive diets.

First order of business was to lather herself with all the sunscreen she could put on her face, hands and anywhere that might be exposed to the sunlight. Of course for today she had ditched her frilly dresses and opted for a long sleeved white shirt tucked into a pair of high waisted blue jeans. Her hair she put into a pair of pony tails each containing a bundle of perfectly styled curls she had spent all morning spraying into place. The look was completed with oversized squared sunglasses and another one of her signature oversized hats. This time with a white bow in the front.

Finally done, she pushed Eden out of the way to pose for the perfect picture crouching in front of the minivan. Being barely four feet five inches, George was her favorite photographer and unlike the rest of her team, didn't seem to mind spending half an hour for that one perfect picture.

"Stop whining. This is how I make money for all of us!"

Being an obscure service provider with rather strange boundaries and requirements, in the middle of the slums didn't always bring them the best paying jobs. People like the Woodheart usually never found them, until recently. So to make up for the costs, (which included a very large food bill thanks to the bloo…. Special juice for Charlotte and truck load of meat for the goblin) they took other odd jobs and part time work.

Charlotte of course was a minor internet celebrity, with an increasing following. She happened to fall into the sweet spot of being rather petite, doll-like and a vampire, all characteristics which seemed to have their own fandom. Her sponsors seemed to be largely sunscreen companies, which works well for Charlotte because she goes through a lot of those too.

George worked at a warehouse during the holiday season purely because it makes him feel like an elf (a species that humans tolerate and respect far better than goblins for some reason even though they both were little creatures with pointy ears).

Eden's job didn't have a title. Someone would send her a large box of paperwork at the start of the week, Eden would spend all her spare time hunched over her table looking through the papers with her desk mounted magnifier, stopping occasionally to scribble something down and every Friday without failure she would have an equally large box of paper ready to be picked up by the same someone. This job pissed off Charlotte. Only because she was a firm believer all of that could be done via email and doesn't need to waste so much paper in this day and age (those poor trees).

Their fourth member didn't do anything. He didn't leave his room consistently enough to do a job and he only owned a very old phone that he refused to leave on silent, and refused to answer. Heck, he didn't even accept money from the jobs they took. However he always handed over his share of rent, utility and food at the start of each month without failing. Nobody had gathered up enough courage to ask him just what he did.

Speaking of whom,

"You know, there was plenty of room at the front for you. You were the one who wanted to sleep in the back. Now look at you."

The sound of dry heaving stopped for a moment, and the man lifted his head to look at Eden. His eyes turned pitch black in anger.

"And have that green squirt sit on my lap? I'm only throwing up because you were a shitty driver."

It was the most he had said, ever! Eden was almost surprised (and somewhat proud) that she barely felt offended at his remark about her driving. He usually only growled and mumbled or told them to fuck off.

"Ah! You're putting me off of my smoothie" Charlotte remarked.

Eden grabbed the can water they kept in the back and tossed it in Jaxxon's general direction. She also grabbed a bag packed so full, that the zipper barely held it together and closed the door.

Eden wrestled something out of the bag and squished the rest back inside, she crouched down to be more in level with goal.

"George, your main job will be to hold this" she passed a perfectly round glass ball to the goblin, "and say something mystical every once in a while, can you do that?"

"What sort of mystical stuff?"

"Doesn't matter buddy, as long as it sounds spooky. You could say, the undead speak through me or I sense a wounded soul."

"Have you been watching Ghost Hunters too much lately?" Charlotte remarked.

"Of course I've been watching a lot of ghost hunters, we're supposed to be doing an exorcism, remember? So it doesn't matter whether or not there is a ghost or whether we can actually see the ghost. All that matters is that we put on a show with what they pay us."

They hadn't parked the car too close to the house, because the road was overgrown and rocky. Instead they walked the last few hundred feet along a gravel footpath. It was the typical mix of dirt and dust along with dry grass you often see when you look up abandoned towns. Even the early morning town was harsh above them. Charlotte's feet wobbled as she felt it's effect. She switched to her favorite way of walking. Shadow hopping. Where she would run from one tree's shade to the next minimizing the time she spent out in the open. It looked ridiculous and she had to grab the hat that kept falling off her head, but anything to keep her feeling dizzy so early in the morning.

"Amelia said, she will send someone to meet us down the house. So everyone remembers their script. Also they'll hand over the diary today, so Charlotte I want you to go through it and find anything that'll seem interesting. That means anything about fights. I don't care if it's about the curtains. And it;s a dead woman's diary, so read it in private. I don't want you to turn mushy and cry in front of our clients. We have to try and look professional today."

Woodheart manor had bigger problems than ghosts. Heck it looked like it was only safe for ghosts to live, in its current state. Vines and weeds had overtaken the walls of the house. The glass of every visible window was cracked or broken. And the old wooden building seemed to be sliding off to the side. It was a two story house and certainly bigger than other abandoned houses in the other abandoned town, and though nobody lived in this town, it was relatively close to the highway and two major cities.

Two things that made it so much more different from other properties Black Stone acquired over the years. They preferred properties so remote, you won't even get there unless they carry you to their hotels. The secrecy and the remoteness is what sparked so many rumors in the first place. If Black Stones did have something to hide they would have been so much better off building a hotel in the dead center of a busy metropolitan. Then they could me murdering people in plain sight and the city folks would be too busy with their own misery to notice.But it seems that the only thing that rich people lacked was their privacy, which Black Stone offers to them with a huge price tag.

Still, unless they buy all the land in this town, it was in no way a typical Black Stone property.

"Are you the exorcists?" a voice spoke up behind the weeds. George let out a loud high pitch scream and climbed up Jaxxon, clinging to his neck for his dear life. Jaxxon cursed loudly and tried to shake off the goblin but George was too spooked and his sharp nails only clung to him harder.

The source of the voice walked towards them and to George's relief he saw that it was a regular human. Those didn't scare George much, when he was with the rest of the gang. He picked up the glass ball he threw away in his hurry.

Eden smiled but studied the stranger in suspicion. It wasn't anything particular about the man or how he looked, but from experience she knew most people were assholes. Especially the ones they met. The man was of average height, (taller than George and shorter than Jaxxon) . His blonde hair was short and combed back. He was wearing a white shirt beneath his jacket, and looked out of place, like an office worker lost in the savanna.

Looked like someone didn't know about dressing for the situation.

"That'll be us. Did Ms.Amelia send you?"

"Yes. I'm Eric. I was told to help you with anything you might need, and also to give you this." His extended hand contained an old leather bound book, like a vintage book someone would sell online. Charlotte grabbed it from the man and opened it, skimming through a few of the pages.

"You'll have to sign these release forms before you enter that house." he fished out a folder from the bag he was carrying.

Eden glanced through the papers. It stated that they understood that the house was unstable and could collapse and if it did, they wouldn't sue the Woodhearts because they read and understood the risks. Eden chuckled, it started to look like the most dangerous thing about this job wasn't even the ghost!

She signed it and passed the rest to her team. Charlotte's signature for some reason was three hearts with an arrow through it. Maybe because since she changed her name so often, she needed a signature that she'd always remember. George took up half the page because he insisted on signing all his names. All. Five. Of. His. Names. Jaxxon's was a simple x. Eden always found it so fascinating that even though all of them were different it was still a different version of strange. Just like them in real life.

After the legalities were taken care of. They were given the go ahead to proceed. The front steps creaked when Charlotte (the lightest of them) stepped up. The door broke down on them as soon as they opened. They didn't expect much from inside which was great because they didn't find much. After all, the house was abandoned quite a long time ago. The foyer was filled with old broken wood and shattered beer bottles and cans. Ghost or not, they weren't the first or the only people to have stepped into the house. The house smelled of old rotten wood and moss and a tinge of cigarette smoke. Someone must have been squatting in here not so long ago. So this ghost must have been chilled with the homeless and the alcoholic. Maybe they cracked open a cold one together.

On the right was an old staircase that led to the famous haunted second floor. Sections of the guard rail had collapsed and laid on the ground. They hopped over the garbage to reach the staircase. Eden pulled Jaxxon to the front. If the staircase could take his weight, then everyone else was safe. Every step protested when they climbed up. Eden and JAxxon had barely made it to the second floor when a high pitch scream made them stumble.

Eden turned to find Charlotte trembling in place, her eyes closed tightly shut.

"What is it?"

"I heard someone behind me."

"Of course you did, dumb ass, it's George."

Charlotte opened her eyes, her cheeks turning a deeper shade of red that was even visible through all the blush she wore. George laughed like a maniac behind him, shaking the whole staircase as he rolled on the floor laughing. George stopped and stood up, sniffing the air.

"I smell food."

"What do you mean?" Eden asked. However she never got a reply.

"Stop! Don't go any further!" cried a voice from below. A female voice, that sounded nothing like them four, or Eric!

Eden's eyes darted to the figure below. A woman in white.