Where To Go From Here

-----Yui's POV

A lot of things happened yesterday, but the biggest of them all was that Kaede's mom finally woke up. Kaede refused to leave her mothers side for the whole day, barely even saying a word even when Fabian and Ilfa went back to Inasdale. I still can't believe that he's actually dating a demon, but I'm not one to judge.

Yui: "Heh."

I can't help but chuckle a little seeing Kaede still sleeping peacefully next to her mother. It's rare for her to sleep, but it looks as though she hasn't woken up since yesterday. I guess with that whole ordeal in Inasdale and her mother, she hasn't really gotten the chance to relax.

Lilith: "This brings back memories."

Yui: "Hmm?"

But her mother is the polar opposite. She's been asleep for such a long time that she's still awake. Rina and Alenia remained awake to continue to supply her mana from the trees.

Lilith: "I used to do this for her when she was little."

She's softly caressing Kaede's head, gently brushing her hair with her fingers as Kaede continues to sleep peacefully. But I can't help but feel a bit of pain from her words. "When she was little." It's like she's talking about a completely different Kaede.

Lilith: "She'd always want to sleep on me like this after a feed, and I'd be too drained to even move... Not like I ever wanted to though."

Yui: "Guess she isn't little anymore, haha."

Lilith: "True. It was honestly scary seeing how much she'd grown. But to see Selene like this again... It really makes me feel at peace."

Rina: "Hehe. She does look a lot different than before."

Yeah... Kaede's been in quite a serious mood for the past few weeks, but to see her face relaxed so much like this, it's like she's a different person. But I guess this would be Selene...

Mell: "...But still. Shouldn't mom be awake by now?"

Lillian: "I know how you feel, but let's let her sleep a bit longer."

Mell: "Okay..."

I know how she feels. When I came over today, I was expecting Kaede to have woken up, but here we are.

But what now? The whole Inasdale situation is resolved, at least as far as I know. Kaede's mother has woken up, even if she still needs Rina and Alenia's help. I guess I could bring it up with the queen next time I see her, but right now, I think we all deserve a break. Especially Kaede. I would've suggested that now with her mom having woken up, we could move her onto the bed. But... looking over at the one bed we have, Sicily seems to have made it her own with her arms and legs stretched out wide as if to claim every corner of it.

Yui: "I should probably get another mattress to be brought here."

Lilith: "That's okay. You don't have to. I'm quite comfortable like this."

Yui: "You sure?"

Lilith: "Mhmm. Plus. I wouldn't want to disturb, Selene."

Alenia: "Hehe. I know that feeling. Rina would always cling to me like this."

Rina: "...You don't need to bring that up, mom."

Alenia: "Hey, I wouldn't mind if we did that again. I'm honestly a little jealous seeing Lilith and Kaede like this."

Rina: "I'm all grown up now. I can't be seen like that."

Alenia: "Oh? So if no one else is around, then?"

Rina: "..."

Cute. I can tell they're really close as mother and daughter. But I can't help but feel that stinging pain building up in my chest as I watch them, remembering my past life. It's embarrassing to say and I've never really told anyone, not even Kaede, but I was sleeping with my parents even through half of elementary school. In the end, it was me who wished to sleep separately after hearing about a kid being bullied because of the same thing. If it weren't for that, I honestly would've been sleeping with my parents for a bit longer.

Yui: "Hah~"

I miss them. Sure my mother now is amazing and has quickly become a role model with how much responsibilities she has to deal with. She also has so many people following her, and not out of being forced to, but because they themselves wanted to. I remember when she first declared our move to Yarene, she not once tried to force anyone, saying that if they wanted, they can remain in Inasdale, yet everyone followed her regardless. But I still can't forget my original parents. If I hadn't had been stabbed back then, I'd be living peacefully with them, just like Alenia and Rina, smiling away at each other. And Kaede would also still be there. She wouldn't have needed to suffer through everything she went through from coming here.

It's hard to say which one I'd prefer, but I think If I had been given a choice to go back, I think I would take it. But then I'd likely be hurting many people in this world as well. God... Why is this all messed up...

Rina: "Yui?"

Yui: "Eh? Ah, sorry. Were you saying something?"

Rina: "No. But... Are you okay?"

In a panic, I quickly check my face with a hand and I quickly feel that my cheek has gotten wet. Was I crying?

Yui: "I'm fine. I'm just happy to see Kaede like this."

Rina: "Y-yeah."

It's the truth, I really am happy to see Kaede so at peace like this. But I can't give her the reason why I was just crying just now. I don't know why I'm still harboring these feelings after so long, but I just can't seem to forget them, nor do I even want to. Even when I reunited with Fabian, it only makes me wonder how it'll be like if I were to reunite with my old parents... I really have to stop thinking about this right now and move on, but I don't want to worry anyone by being here like this.

Yui: "...Sorry. I think I'll actually go and see if we have another spare mattress."

Lilith: "Ah. Yui, like I said you don't-"

Yui: "It's fine. I'm sure we have plenty. I'll be back."

Mell: "Yui?"

I end up ignoring them as I leave through the door where I spot Fleur and Faye practicing with their wings once again. From this distance, I can see that they're happy together as I notice Fleur's now flapping her wings with more confidence than before. I feel like it won't be long until they end up flying together. But before they can spot me, I walk off in the opposite direction, towards the city.

Why am I like this? Why do I have to be forced to remember such memories. It's not fair...

Natalie: "Ellen!"

But I forgot about Natalie. Of course she'd follow me out here. But I don't think I want her to see me like this. I wiped away those tears from before, but my tears still continue to pour out. I just can't seem to think of anything else besides my old parents. Remembering the time when I was little like that, sleeping with them, it brought back so many memories that I just couldn't take it.

Natalie: "Ellen. Are you okay?"

Yui: "..."

She finally catches up to me as she approaches my side. I find myself stopping in my tracks as I just stare at the ground.

Yui: "What do I do?"

Natalie: "Ellen?"

Yui: "I can't go back. I can't see them. I can't tell if they're happy or-"

Natalie: "..."

What if my parents killed themselves just like Kaede... Kaede and I were lucky to have gotten this second chance, but I doubt my parents got that lucky. If I knew I'd still be feeling like this after so many years, I would've preferred forgetting my past life. It was me that brought Kaede to suicide, and the thought of doing the same to my parents leaves me with an acidic taste in my mouth.

Yui: "They were so happy... And I ruined it..."

I can't even make out the sticks or the stones on the ground anymore as they've all turned to a blur as I feel my face growing more tense by the second. It hurts...

Yui: "If I hadn't opened that stupid door... Things would-"

Natalie: "Stop it-"

Suddenly, I feel my body being pulled as I find myself resting up against Natalie as I feel her arms wrap tightly around me.

Natalie: "I know about your past. It's not your fault."

Yui: "Yes it was."

Natalie: "No it's-"

Yui: "Yes it is! If I hadn't died stupidly like that, then I wouldn't have brought pain to my family. And my mom here would have a normal child... She probably hates the fact that I'm from a different world! Having memories of other parents she doesn't know about."

Natalie: "Ellen-"

Yui: "So... Even if I had to die, then... I wish I hadn't been reborn here. Mom wouldn't need to bear the sight of having a daughter like this... If I just wasn't here, then-"

Natalie: "Don't say that!"

She tightens her grasp around me as it begins to feel somewhat painful.

Yui: "Natalie-"

Natalie: "Don't you dare say that! Your mother cares about you, regardless of your past! You haven't ruined anything."

Yui: "You say that, but-"

Natalie: "If you don't believe me, then ask her yourself!"

Yui: "...She'll just say the same thing."

Natalie: "That's 'cause she loves you! We all love you Ell- no... Yui."

Yui: "..."

What the hell? Why is she calling me by my name now? Everyone here always calls me Ellen this and Ellen that. So why now?

Natalie: "Regardless if you're Ellen or Yui. We all care about you the same way. So... Don't think like that again."

She ends up squeezing me even tighter than before as the pain has become just a little too much to handle. Since when was she this strong?

Yui: "Natalie... It hurts."

Natalie: "Good!"

Yui: "...Can you let go?"

Natalie: "Nope!"

As if in defiance, she tightens her hold of me even more as I end up squirming trying to break free. But no matter how hard I try, she resists every single attempt I do.

Natalie: "I'm not letting you go."

Yui: "You're quite the terrible maid, not following orders."

Natalie: "And I'd be a terrible friend if I let you go."

Yui: "..."

Admitting defeat, I stop trying and let her hold me as she pleases. My tears end up soaking into her uniform until they run dry. I feel her loosen up, but I don't dare try and escape and instead remain by Natalie, covering my face in her uniform as I end up clinging onto her with my hands. I'm glad Kaede's asleep... I don't want her to worry about seeing me like this. I've done my best to hold all of this in for so long, but I just can't anymore.

Natalie: "Yui?"

Yui: "..."

Natalie: "Yui~"

Yui: "...Just a bit longer."

Natalie: "Mm. Of course."

I end up letting Natalie hold me until I'm certain the tears have stopped. I'm thankful now that Natalie came for me, but I still wish that none of this happened. Sure everyone here might think so but-

Natalie: "And I'm sure your old parents wouldn't want to see you like this either. If they heard you spouting such nonsense, I'm sure they would've scolded you."

More like punished. My parents were never one to be physical, but if they heard what I said, I wouldn't be surprised if mom would slap me. But even still...

Yui: "...I wish I could hear them scold me."

Natalie: "I know."

Yui: "..."

I slowly lift my face from Natalie as I wipe any tears that remained.

Natalie: "Come on. Let's find that mattress."

Yui: "Mm."