The emotions I dread

"Haah… Haa… I … want… to die," I panted, feeling as though my lungs would burst into flames.

We had been running around this fucking stadium for the rest of the whole day, and at this point, my waist was killing me. I wasn't even sure I could stand on both my feet again after this. Right now, I was lying on the track, and beside me was…

… this bitch.

"Serves you right. If… if only you accepted to fight me… it wouldn't have gotten… to this," she said between gasps.

I hate this girl.

That smug smile even makes it worse!

I can't believe she followed me, scaring off all potential combat partners until the instructor gave up and gave us this fucking torture of a punishment. Running fifty fucking laps around the stadium while he watched.

After the twentieth lap, I felt like I was dying. I couldn't even feel my limbs anymore. They were literally on fire, and my lungs were no better.

"You act like you… didn't suffer the punishment… yourself," I said in annoyance, and she smirked triumphantly.

Urgh! I hate the smirk.

"You keep forgetting that I am level 7, while you are just a measly level 1. Who do you think had it hard?" she laughed, and I could only clench my fist.

If only using Nelia wouldn't probably kill me, given the strain she places on my mana, I would have accepted that fucking duel and shown this bitch a good time. But that was impossible, as I would probably die of mana pool combustion before I could even get started, and I would still end up getting beaten black and blue with how pissed she looked.

"Just keep smiling… this satisfaction will only last so long," I closed my eyes and said.

"She's not really your girlfriend, right?" I heard her say and could see the smirk on her face, and though that was the truth, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of admitting it.

I cracked an eye open, catching the smirk that accompanied her words. Though she wasn't wrong, I refused to give her the satisfaction of hearing me admit it.

"I told you already," I said, eyes closed again. "I don't entertain side chicks. Stop trying — I'm not breaking up with her."

Silence hung between us for a moment.

"El…" she called softly.

I ignored her.

"El…" she tried again.

"Don't call me that," I snapped, not bothering to look at her.

"Why did you change?" she asked quietly.

Just the same way I became obsessed after I suddenly termed Eloisa, Renay, I became disenchanted with her and everyone else the moment I realized it wasn't her.

It was as though someone was pulling the strings behind me.

"We used to be good friends," she said, her voice tinged with nostalgia. "Playing, getting into trouble together… But one day, you became such a… dick." Her voice softened, though the insult was unnecessary.

"Just stop," I said. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Please." Her tone shifted, carrying a vulnerability that almost made me falter. "I feel so guilty about back then. Maybe things wouldn't be this way if I didn't leave that day... So please, I need to know why… Who were you and Eloisa talking about? Was it that person? Is that why?"

At the mention of Eloisa's name, my blood boiled.

"Just let it go," I said firmly, trying to bury the anger rising in my chest.

"El…"

"JUST LET IT GO!" I shouted, my voice trembling. "It's in the past. Nothing you say or do now can change it. You all left me when I needed you most."

"You were the one who pushed everyone away with that attitude!" she shot back.

"Excuses," I spat. "Just stay the hell away from me. You're no different from that bitch, Eloisa."

Forcing my trembling legs to move, I stood and walked away, leaving her sitting there in stunned silence.

'You made her cry and just walked off?' Nelia's voice echoed in my mind, a busybody as always.

'Mind your business, or I'll start your punishment here and now,' I snapped.

She quieted down, though I caught a side-glance of her glaring at me.

I knew Ariana wasn't entirely at fault. I had pushed them away — all of them. But I couldn't risk forming attachments now. The semester would end in four months, and I'd be gone. Selena was attachment enough; I didn't need more reasons to hesitate.

Speaking of Selena, I thought of a way to calm her down.

Sighing, I rubbed my temples.

How did she always make me feel so guilty for things I hadn't even done?

Tsk.

Whatever. I had points to spare, plenty of them. Losing a few wouldn't hurt too much.

I hoped.

...

...

Three things.

First, as apology for not publishing yesterday, I will drop two chaps before going premium.

Second, is this book that bad that I can't even get a three-star review? Common guys say something.

Third, motivation is in order. I might just drop ten more chapters after the two if you guys motivate me enough!