I aspire to be the queen of the Phoenix Kingdom

Feng Jiulan, concerned for the health of the Phoenix King, set out ahead with Xian Yue, Bai Pingting, and others, while the remaining troops were coordinated by Yun Qinghen. As Feng Jiulan's health improved, Xian Yue could not help but worry about Feng Xuanling. She feared that the weariness of travel would worsen Feng Jiulan's condition, so she hesitated to hasten their journey. They maintained a pace that was neither hurried nor slow, and after ten days, they arrived at the capital of the Phoenix Kingdom. Feng Jiulan did not pause during the journey, heading straight to the palace.

Upon entering the royal palace, they were met with the sight of those present kneeling to pay their respects to Feng Jiulan. The air was filled with the high-pitched voices of the eunuchs, calling out one after another, "The prince has returned! The princess has returned!"

Feng Jiulan waved his hand, signaling them to rise, but his steps did not falter. In the blink of an eye, he reached the Qian Cang Hall, where the Phoenix King resided. Outside the hall, a throng of palace attendants and pampered consorts knelt on the ground, their dark-clad forms creating a stark contrast against the marble. Eunuch Li Dequan stood at the entrance, and upon seeing the figures of Feng Jiulan and Xian Yue, he hurried over, his gaze landing on Xian Yue's face, which suddenly filled his eyes with tears. "The princess has grown up so much."

"Where is Father?" 

"The King is inside."

Li Dequan retrieved his gaze and led the way, matching Feng Jiulan's urgency with a quickened pace. 

"When I left, Father was well. How could he suddenly become so gravely ill?" 

As Feng Jiulan walked, his voice grew increasingly frantic. 

Xian Yue dashed to his side, taking his hand. Though Feng Xuanling seemed indifferent to her, alternating between warmth and coldness, he genuinely cared for his brother, showering him with all his affection. The women of the harem dared not bully her too brazenly, knowing that their actions would draw his ire. Initially, she believed it to be a minor illness, but upon returning to the palace, she discovered that Feng Xuanling had been bedridden for over half a month.

Li Dequan sighed, "Since the Queen's passing, the King's health has deteriorated."

Within the Qian Cang Hall, behind layers of drapery, lay Feng Xuanling's grand bed adorned with gold and jade. The hall's decor was as simple yet exquisitely lavish as that of the Snow Mulberry Palace. Xian Yue felt unfamiliar in this space; she seldom visited, except for the rare occasions when her brother had carried her in to see their father. Deep down, she understood her longing for her father's affection, perhaps more than the average child, yet she felt a sense of contentment.

Feng Jiulan lifted the light yellow veil, revealing Feng Xuanling lying on the bed, his eyes gently closed in a deep slumber.

"Father."

"Father, Yue'er is safe; we have all returned unharmed."

Suddenly, Feng Xuanling opened his eyes, reaching out to grasp Feng Jiulan's hand resting on the bed. That once-strong hand, which had wielded power over the lives of the Phoenix Kingdom's subjects, was now reduced to little more than bones.

Feng Xuanling nodded, his gaze drifting to Xian Yue standing behind Feng Jiulan. Her familiar yet foreign features, adorned with a vermilion mark between her brows, mirrored his late beloved Sang Xiao. In an instant, he realized how much she had grown over the past decade, and a wave of guilt washed over him, causing tears to stream down his aged face.

Similar faces, similar eyes, yet while his Sang Xiao had been gentle as water, she exuded a hard, iron-like strength. Despite her small frame, she seemed imbued with power. He looked at her, and her gaze fell on her brother. This was good; united, they would provide him with peace of mind.

During this time, he had heard about her exploits in the martial world from palace servants, feelings of joy, pride, and concern swirling within him.

"Father, you are so gravely ill. Why did you not inform me?" 

Feng Xuanling turned his gaze from Xian Yue to Feng Jiulan. "Luan'er, your father is no longer well."

His voice was frail and quivered, devoid of longing, yet remarkably composed.

"Father will recover." 

Feng Jiulan held Feng Xuanling's hand, tears welling in his eyes. Deep down, he knew the truth; he had always known. It wasn't that he did not love Yue'er, but rather that he had loved their mother too dearly. Over the years, he had lived engulfed in guilt and self-reproach. Whenever Yue'er had been bullied by the other consorts, he had harbored resentment, yet since her departure, he had not fared well.

"Luan'er, do not deceive yourself. Your father harbors no regrets. You love your people as your own, proving yourself a capable prince. Yue'er is intelligent and resourceful. I entrust the Phoenix Kingdom to you both, and I have no worries in that regard. My only regret lies in failing your mother. We fell in love at Xian Yue Mountain, and I promised her I would marry only her. Yet, in the face of necessity, I took other wives, breaking our vow. She entrusted me to care for Yue'er and to extend her love to her as well. I failed in that duty. For years, you have suffered from illness, and I have been powerless. I have failed to care for both of you."

With each word, Feng Xuanling's voice grew increasingly choked.

Feng Jiulan felt a pang of sorrow at his father's words and patted the back of his frail hand. "Mother was understanding; she would never blame Father."

Feng Xuanling shook his head. "Though your mother was gentle, she possessed a fiery spirit. How could she so easily forgive me? But it matters not; I shall sincerely atone to her."

Feng Jiulan sniffled and nodded. "Yes, Mother has always been soft-hearted and loved Father deeply. She will certainly forgive him."

Xian Yue stood behind them, quietly listening to their conversation, her heart a tangle of emotions. In the past, she did not fully comprehend her feelings; she harbored little resentment towards Feng Xuanling. After her experiences with Lan Yixuan in the Valley of Death, she had found someone she truly loved. Any lingering grievances towards Feng Xuanling gradually dissipated like the wind. If someone were to take Lan Yixuan from her now, regardless of who they were or their motives, she would be unable to confront them with compassion.

No one is a saint, and she certainly was not; thus, she could not impose such lofty standards on others. Over the years, Feng Xuanling had endured much, and deep down, he loved her. He had never forgotten her mother's last wishes; otherwise, he would not have allowed himself to reside in the snowy Sang Palace. As a father, he wished to care for her, yet every time he tried to be kind, he was reminded of his late wife's face, evoking memories of happier times. Each encounter with her likeness brought sorrow anew—love and hate intertwined, a tormenting duality.

Feng Xuanling gazed at Xian Yue, opening his mouth to speak but finding no words. His weary heart was overflowing with guilt. " Lan'er, I wish to speak with Yue'er alone."

Feng Jiulan rose, turning to Xian Yue and gently patting her shoulder.

As Feng Jiulan left, Li Dequan followed suit, leaving only Xian Yue and Feng Xuanling in the chamber. Xian Yue remained rooted in place.

To her, he was her father, yet he felt like a stranger, much like this unfamiliar place. Her last memory of him was of a stinging slap, filled with rage and the cruel words "wicked daughter." That incident lingered in her mind as the deepest impression he had left, and everything else had faded.

Feng Xuanling looked at Xian Yue, realizing the anger he had directed at her was unfounded. If her face did not bear such an uncanny resemblance to Sang Xiao, perhaps things would have been different. She was, in truth, a thoughtful child; he was the one too blinded by privilege to appreciate his fortune.

Ultimately, he had projected his rage onto her following the incident in which Lan'er fell into the water. Deep down, he was the real perpetrator. Had he shown her a bit more care, the women in the harem would have been less emboldened to plot against her. That night, on Lan'er's birthday, if he had not deliberately ostracized her, those events would never have transpired. Since she left the palace, he had been plagued by regret and felt unworthy to face Sang Xiao.

From the moment she entered until now, she had not uttered a word to him; the bond of father and daughter felt like that of strangers. This was the consequence of her own misdeeds.

"Yue'er," he called softly, his voice choked with emotion as he gestured for her to come closer.

Xian Yue hesitated for a moment but then approached the bedside. She had no profound impression of him, yet the man before her was a mere shadow of the one she remembered; he had grown frail.

"Do you resent your father?" 

Xian Yue shook her head. "I neither love nor hate him, nor do I harbor any resentment."

Her response was strikingly calm. She had long adopted such a stance toward Feng Xuanling. She refrained from loving him because she feared disappointment. The thought of investing her emotions only to face unfulfilled expectations would be heartbreaking. In this world, no one is obligated to show kindness, even a father, hence she could not bring herself to hate or blame him.

Feng Xuanling smiled, admiring his daughter's extraordinary perspective. She saw through matters far better than he did.

With effort, he propped himself up and suddenly grasped Xian Yue's hand. She did not resist, allowing him to hold her, and sat beside him. She knew he had something to say.

"Yue'er, it is your father who has wronged you. I failed to fulfill my responsibilities as a father and did not care for you properly. You have suffered these years, and for that, I am truly sorry."

Feng Xuanling poured forth his remorse, his voice breaking as he spoke, tears welling in his eyes. Xian Yue observed him silently, her heart aching. She knew this day would come when he would confess.

Gently, she patted his back, exuding a sense of calm. "Father, there is no need for guilt, nor to feel remorse. I have been well during these years outside the palace. In fact, I feel fortunate not to have grown up in this heavy, suffocating environment. Though I have faced hardships, they have all been worthwhile. I am not a pampered princess; I possess the strength to protect myself and those I care for. I am fortunate to have a brother who loves me dearly and to have met a man whom I love in return. Even if it is a political marriage, I can still find happiness. My life is not filled with despair because of you."

Feng Xuanling studied her calm demeanor, remaining silent. He knew her words were sincere.

"Over these years, my brother has fared well. You have fulfilled the duties of a father, and I have no grounds for reproach."

A sense of sadness washed over Feng Xuanling. The sole connection between them was 澜儿, yet her resolute composure evoked both admiration and shame within him. He realized his own indecisiveness had led to this situation.

"In the coming days, the prince of Lan Kingdom will come to propose. He has treated me well, willing to sacrifice his life for my sake. He promised me a lifetime of companionship. I told him that our fates are intertwined, and we would grow old together. However, during his unconsciousness, I wished for him to wake quickly; no matter what he asked of me, I would agree—even if it meant marrying another. Common folk toil for their daily bread, while we, despite our riches, may not find ourselves much better off. We share the same struggles. My brother says that my mother was understanding and gentle; she would have comprehended your hardships."

Feng Xuanling gazed at Xian Yue, his vision blurring. The figure before him blurred with memories of the woman he once knew. He smiled softly. "Is that the noble Young Master Lan? Only my Yue'er deserves him."

He had heard of that man—noble, wise, and revered for his virtues. To learn that he was the prince of Lan Kingdom surprised him; if Lan'er believed he could protect Xian Yue, then his worries about the prince's sincerity were unfounded.

A man so rare in this world, who promised Yue'er a lifetime of togetherness, would surely keep his word. Unlike him, who had been indecisive and ultimately accomplished nothing.

His Yue'er was indeed a kind-hearted child. The more he thought about it, the more regret he felt—regret for not treating her better, for the things he had done to her. Yet, he still found solace. In the afterlife, he would meet Sang Xiao, and he would have more than just apologies to offer; he would share with her their two children.

They were both remarkable, especially their Yue'er—strong and capable. He knew she did not harbor resentment towards him, but he longed to do something, to make amends for his Yue'er.

"What is it that you desire?"

"What do you desire? As long as he is able to provide, he shall grant it." 

Xianyue gazed quietly at Feng Xuanling on the bed, her lips pressed together as she pondered. She fixed her steadfast gaze upon him, her eyes filled with determination: "Is it true that whatever I wish for, Father Emperor will grant me?" 

Feng Xuanling nodded affirmatively. "Only that which I am capable of providing." 

Releasing Feng Xuanling's hand, Xianyue abruptly knelt on one knee, her clear eyes still locked onto his aged and frail face. "I wish for Father Emperor to pass the throne of Feng Kingdom to me." 

Feng Xuanling was momentarily taken aback, his old eyes gleaming with shock as they widened at the sight of Xianyue kneeling before him. 

Xianyue continued resolutely, "I want to be the queen of Feng Kingdom." 

Each word carried an unwavering conviction that brooked no dissent. 

Feng Xuanling collapsed wearily onto the bed, a myriad of memories from a decade ago flashing before his eyes. Back then, she had been so young, kneeling in the Hall of Forbidden Delights, pleading for him to deliver justice for Lan'er. 

She had pointed at the rising sun, declaring, "I shall bear the burdens of this world for him, and shield him from its calamities." 

She asserted that as long as she, Feng Xianyue, was alive, no one was to touch anything belonging to Lan'er, regardless of whether it was what he desired—the position of crown prince or the very fate of Feng Kingdom. She would protect them both, ensuring that no one encroached upon their rights. 

She proclaimed that the first ruler of Feng Kingdom would be a queen. 

She told him he could disregard her, neglect her, and treat her like a stranger. He could desire to take every woman in the realm as his concubines, and she would have no objection. However, he must ensure her brother's safety, showing no leniency toward those who wished to harm him, nor allowing his men to lay a finger on Lan'er. 

Everything she had done was for Lan'er. He turned his gaze to Xianyue, kneeling so small and fragile, her shoulders bearing an insurmountable weight of responsibility. 

But deep down, he harbored other concerns; the bond between Xianyue and Lan'er surpassed that of ordinary siblings. He had always witnessed Lan'er's affection and indulgence toward Xianyue, while Xianyue's dependence on Lan'er was far from mere reliance. Lan'er had always struggled with his health, and during their last return from Pan City, he had brought up Bai Zhanyuan and Lan Yixuan, urging Feng Xuanling to assess who was more suitable for Xianyue. His concern stemmed from the fear that, should he depart this world, Xianyue would be left alone and uncared for. 

Despite her intelligence, if she chose not to protect herself in such chaotic times, how would she fare as a princess? 

He felt a wave of sadness; their royal family was few in number, consisting only of the two siblings. He understood Lan'er's condition well enough to realize that if he kept up with such matters, Lan'er would not last. What would happen if they were gone, leaving only Xianyue behind? At present, she had someone to care for her, but how could he find peace seeing Xianyue kneeling before him? How could she withstand such a blow? If she were to collapse under the weight of it all, what then? He was all too familiar with that despair, having lived it since Sang Xiao's departure. Though he had survived, and Lan'er was still by his side, each day remained a torment for him. Had he shown her the same concern as he did for Lan'er, or offered her a father's love, might she not be in such a state today? At the very least, she wouldn't carry such profound emotions; if she were to fall, having someone by her side would surely allow her to rise quickly. 

"Do you speak from the heart?" 

"Indeed, I do, and I shall safeguard the people of Feng Kingdom." And her brother as well. 

To be a king or a queen mattered little to her; she merely wished that if she were the sovereign of Feng Kingdom, it would alleviate much hardship, diverting all hostility toward her rather than her brother. 

Feng Xuanling fell silent for a while, beginning to grasp Xianyue's intentions. He knew she would not covet Lan'er's possessions; her actions were solely for Lan'er's sake. "I am weary. Please return to the palace and rest." 

Xianyue remained kneeling on the floor, unwilling to depart immediately. "In light of the current state of affairs, every kingdom is brimming with talent. We are at a turning point, and the balance of power among the six kingdoms has become untenable. Feng Kingdom harbors no ambitions for domination, yet Xuanyuan and other nations may not share this belief. To wish for isolation is impossible, especially now that Feng Kingdom seeks to ally with Lan Kingdom, war is inevitable. 

On the battlefield, timing, terrain, and morale are critical—none can be overlooked. With Lan'er in poor health, his recent illness while preparing to march against Chu Kingdom will certainly take a toll during future campaigns. If the enemy learns of the commander's condition, it will surely undermine the morale of both sides. However, I am different. I am in good health and have few rivals; I can charge into battle alongside the soldiers and lift their spirits. I can protect myself; I implore Father Emperor to grant me this." 

"You anticipated this day long ago." 

Perhaps it was fatigue; Feng Xuanling's voice bore an unmistakable weariness. 

"So, you intend for Bai's girl to serve you?" 

Xianyue looked up at Feng Xuanling, who lay with his eyes closed on the bed, not overly shocked. If he was aware of this, then her brother must have known as well. 

"Yes." 

"Bai Pingting has been working for me, but her actions are all for my brother." 

Because of her deep love for her brother, she was willing to undertake these arduous tasks. 

"Allow me to consider this." 

Feng Xuanling waved his hand. He was aware of everything Xianyue had said, but he had already placed so much upon her; how could he push her further onto the battlefield? 

Xianyue nodded, rising from the ground. "Please do not disclose this matter to my brother."