Prologue - My Wizard

"Alya, you're such a hard worker."

Since I was a child, I have been told these words many times. I

always felt a sense of discomfort with those words. I just did my best, why

should I be praised? It's only natural that we should do our best to deal with

what's in front of us, and it would be strange if we didn't.

Even after realizing that these ideas of mine belonged to an extreme

minority, I had no intention of changing my way of life. I should just keep

working hard and aiming high, to attain my ideal self...

"If you don't like it so much, do it by yourself!"

At that moment when I was nine years old and my classmates

isolated me like that, I knew that I didn't want anyone to understand this way

of life. It doesn't matter if no one understands me, if no one praises me, as

long as I myself know of my efforts, that's all that matters. I had no

hesitation in continuing to aim high on my own in this way. ...At least that

was how it was supposed to be. Until that day at school when the teacher

asked me that question.

"What do you want to be in the future?"

It was a simple question, really. But I was horrified to find that the

answer to that question was not within me.

I had no goals in life. Anyway, while striving for greater heights, I

myself didn't know what I was looking for at the end of it all. The moment I

realized this, I had doubts and hesitations about my own way of life, which

was simply just seeking to reach higher and higher.

I'm like a balloon who's... mooring rope was broken.[1] I could only

fly upwards. The more I fly, the darker the scenery becomes and the harder

it is to breathe. Still, there was no one to ask for help. There was no one to

even ask if this way of life was right or not.

I would like someone to fly at the same height and speed as me.

Once you know you are not alone, your hesitation will surely disappear. If I

can have someone to compete with, I won't be afraid to fly towards the dark.

But there is no one out there. I left them all behind. I was the one who

decided to aim higher. There is no turning back now.

Looking down from the small cage at the distant ground below, I fly

upward, still terrified of crashing. I don't know what's ahead of me, or where

I'm going, but I'll keep going and going and going....

"Why do you want to be student body president?"

When he once asked me that, I answered immediately. I wanted to

be it because I just wanted to be. They said there was no reason to aim that

high. But I knew myself that... it was not the complete truth. I purposely

answered immediately so as not to be pursued any further in depth.

Because... there were also more selfish feelings involved in my

pursuit of student body president. In the end, I wanted someone to approve

of me. That my way of life is not wrong. When I entered Seirei Gakuen, I

knew that if I could stand there... in the position of student body president,

which is supported and respected by many students, I would be free from

this suffocating feeling. I knew that my hesitation would disappear and I

would no longer be afraid of going through the darkness, where I could not

see the way ahead.

"I know Kujou-san is working hard."

I can't tell you how much those words meant to me. He probably

doesn't even know. He was like a wizard. A mean wizard who does not use

a vehicle, but flies freely and unrestrictedly with only his body. He didn't care

which side was up and which side was down. At times, he would fly around

me to tease me as I cower in my cage and continue to fly blindly. At other

times, he flew above me to guide me.

I felt no fear of falling or going into the dark because of him. I was

annoyed by his overly free behavior and made a lot of petty complaints. But

he handled my complaining from inside the cage as if I were a child...

which also annoyed me. It was infuriating, yet enjoyable. I was lonely when

he wandered off, and yet I resented the fickleness of him being by my side

when I found myself...really knowing. He was the only one who stood by

my side. His presence was my salvation. That's why...

"Shut up and take my hand! Alya!"

That is why I took his hand then. Taking his hand and jumping out of

the cage, I realized how small a world I was living in. That there were many

others in the sky that I thought I was flying in alone. That they travel the

skies in their own ways, sometimes alone, sometimes working together.

Each way of flying has its own charm and it was just an illusion that the one

flying higher... was better. If you don't fly high enough, there are places

you can't reach. But there are places you can't get to or view by just flying

high. And...

"Alya's singing is really beautiful!"

"I really like the name of the band... Thanks."

"Is your throat okay? Please don't over-practice and injure your

throat."

"Alyaaa, do you want some chips~?"

If I have the courage to step out, there are people who will take me

for a ride. All those things he taught me.

But... He will never, ever be on a proper ride someday. As if by

magic, he would get in and get out of the ride in a flash. He wanders

through the sky, traversing vehicles on a whim. A wizard who should be

able to go anywhere, but has no grasp of where he is going.

He was carrying something heavy and he never wanted to show it.

Whenever I try to understand him on a deeper level, he always teases,

brushes it off and misleads me. I always think it's his way of rejecting me...

and that I shouldn't step in. The truth is, I really want to know. I would love

to get closer to his heart. But he's a fickle wizard... and I felt that if I forced

myself to approach him, he would wander away again. I just can't bring

myself to ask him.

Hey, Masachika. What are you seeking? What are you holding on to?

How long will you stay by my side? For you, I'd like to...

[1]: Hot air balloons are usually tied to ropes, called "mooring ropes," to prevent them from rising to

altitude levels too high, so the analogy here is that Alya was aiming too high for nothing.