[8]

Sitting at Mikael's table for dinner looking at the faces of my siblings all had grown so much over the passing years.

Kol was still a bit of a troublemaker, even though I've spent the last five years teaching him some of the tamer magics, Freya has taught me that she has learned from Dahlia.

While teaching all of them herbalism, cooking, distilling and hunting/tracking sparring with all but Henrik since my size, strength and speed makes it impossible for him to actually learn from me and only to become…disimpassioned about learning by constantly losing to me.

Sometimes I felt like Mikael's babysitter having to intervene more than a few times when Mikael had either drunk too much or triggered PTSD and tried beating any of my siblings though…I was suspiciously missing whenever…it was Esther he was wailing on.

Sometimes my interference in his direct home affairs put Mikael and I on the outs but it was usually solved within a couple days by a remorseful Mikael.

'I can't believe…it's my 29th birthday…I'm older than I was in my past life now…' I mutter while bringing up the goblet of raspberry wine, I tried my hand at making not the best by modern standards but I know I can improve it.

"Vidar my son…you've grown into the finest warrior I have ever fought beside, you've become a leader that has the respect of those he leads and those he leads against, and most of all I am proud and honored to have you as my son…it pains me our celebrations of your 29th season can't go on to the dawn of a new day but tonight those filthy mutts will run wild." Mikael says as he stands up at the head of his table and raises his chalice.

I raise my goblet, "Thank you father, your words mean…more to me than I know how to properly express…I just want you to know I am my father's son you made me in your image and I hope by the time I am your age I will have lived a life as full as you have." I said and Mikael wiped a bit of moisture from his eyes.

"You honor your father…Vidar." Esther replies as pleasantly as she can…something that has been discomforting and…par for the course since I saved Bekah and resurrected Ayana.

"Let's feast." Mikael says with a bit of steel in his voice as he stared down at Esther…who tried to make herself as small as possible.

Bekah has taken to taste testing everything I eat or drink using my goblet and cutlery after…a mysterious poisoning attempt on my life on her 17th season day celebration, and when father…had without saying it gave her the subtle permission to pursue me, by sending away any and all courters and betrothal offers and giving her the nod.

I think it's partly because Lagertha hasn't given me a child yet he worries that she's barren and he knows I wouldn't throw Lagertha aside just because she couldn't give me a child…Bekah…showed no interest in men other than me and in Mikael's eyes no other man was worthy of her.

"I wish you'd spend more time here with all of us." Rebekah whispers to me softly as she silently slides my plate to me giving me her nod of approval making me roll my eyes.

"I know, I don't visit often…but sister, you know I care for you…and you spend quite a bit of your time in my bed." I tease Rebekah softly, getting two elbows to both sides of my ribs.

"Why do you stay away? I know it would please father to have you every night for dinner, and mother has been…pleasant to you since…that day…you saved me." Bekah begins to start an argument we've had more than once…and today I just didn't feel like arguing as I looked down at my plate.

"Bekah…You know I had a twin sister, and the last time I saw her…in person it was here, that day she was taken from me…and I almost died to fever…this place is a constant reminder that I lost someone who I shared a heartbeat with…someone who's pain I shared with her…Bekah she and I might as well have been considered one being…not to mention…there is a lot of bad blood between your mother and I…she and Father don't know this but…the day I was born, I was fully conscious…your mother was especially cruel and vile…saying that father should drown me..as she'd never care for me…there have been numerous instances where she has been rather vile and cruel, she could have been cold and indifferent…but no she made every effort…to make me know that she hates me and would only be happy when I'm dead." I tell Rebekah softly but can see that even Lagertha was affected by what I was revealing to her for the first time as well. Sure she knew Esther had an absolute revulsion to me, but she only knew to a certain degree and not that she hated me from birth, I felt both women put their hands on my knees and give a light reassuring squeeze.

"Don't worry you two…I've spent my entire life growing stronger to make sure nothing like a little fever ever comes close to claiming what's mine again." I say to the two and I notice Finn looking at me intensely our eyes meet and he nods to me, it was like a tidal wave of realization hits me, 'Finn is a witch…he's trying to grow stronger so we don't lose someone like we lost Freya to Dahlia.' I shout in my mind and I give him a real smile in return. 

'Oh…little brother you should have been training with Ayana and I…not that worthless bitch who couldn't even cure her fertility issues, something…that any decent caliber witch can do for themselves.' I curse in my head as I put those thoughts aside and start eating my dinner…which has been seasoned incorrectly but at least it wasn't bland. 

Rebekah sighs and leans her head against my shoulder, "We all die eventually, big brother…it's not up to us or our strength in front of the gods we are nothing, no matter how powerful you are, you can't stop a god…you can't stop Death."

I shake my head softly… "Perhaps, but men have ascended to the heights of god slaying, and even if I can't stop a god, I like to believe I may make a goddess pause and conquer her with a good lay…and we all know death is a woman no matter what some stories say." I reply to Bekah almost playfully as I sling my arm over her shoulders and give her a hug and a kiss against her temple. 

…

"Haa, that was a filling meal…thank you for the feast father, Esther." I sigh as I rub my stomach and smile at Mikael and put on a neutral expression when looking at Esther, "But the day grows long and I'd like to be home before dark and you lot still have to venture to the caves…unless Esther can put up an sustain protections on your hall through the night." I continue speaking and everyone looks sad as I cut off their joyous conversations amongst each other…Mikael looking the saddest of the lot as I stood up from the table I was hugged by each of my brothers and they gave me small presents, before Mikael came over and pulled me into a bone creaking bare hug. 

"I miss the days when I could hold you in my hands." Mikael says to me softly with a watery smile and I move before thinking and pull him into a bone creaking bare hug. 

"I love you father…" I whisper softly so no one else can hear. 

"I love you my son." Mikael replies back also quietly to not be overheard, after all men don't say I love you like this to each other, we beat each other bloody with our fists to show how deeply we care for each other.