I'm not ready yet

"Filly, why didn't you tell us you'd come home? I would've made you your favorite food!" A woman, who was in her mid-forties, couldn't stop herself from scolding her only daughter while in the kitchen. 

"That's right, Fil. You should've at least told your brother," the man of the house, sitting on the head seat of the table, nodded in agreement. "But either way, I'm glad you were able to come home."

Fil warmly smiled back at her father.

"Sis, I know you're getting scolded, but I'm doing most of the work here," Elijah, who was setting up the table with Fil, complained. "Can you move a little faster?"

"Eli, give your big sister a break. She drove all the way here with that old truck." Their father clicked his tongue, earning a deeper frown from their youngest. "Don't mind him, Fil. He's in puberty and has been grumpy."

"Eli, are you giving mom and dad a headache?"

"Oh, goodness! Not just a headache, but hypertension!" Their mother in the kitchen yelled, unbothered by her task of making dinner to join in the conversation.

"Eli…" Fil squinted her eyes at her little brother, but Elijah avoided her gaze. 

"Well, you used to be a headache as well." Their father, Simon, waved dismissively. "It's a good day, so we'll let Eli off."

"This is why he is becoming more and more mischievous!" Irene, Fil's mother, came into the dining room with a pot in her hands. She carefully placed the pot in the middle of the table, casting her husband a look of disbelief. "I can't believe you."

"Eli, look at what you're doing. Mom and Dad are fighting because of you." Fil quipped, making Elijah roll his eyes. 

"Oh, my dear. I'm sorry. I was wrong. I'll scold him later." Simon affirmed. "Later, I'll set him straight. For sure."

Irene huffed, only to change completely when she sat down and faced Fil. Fil smiled back, darting her eyes between her parents, who showed her what marriage was. A loving and caring wife and a reliable and supportive husband. 

That was what her parents had shown her from then until now. 

"Let's pray?" Irene suggested, and as tradition, everyone stretched their hands to hold each other's hands.

"Fil?" called Simon when Fil didn't reach her hand out to him. 

Fil slowly looked at her father and smiled subtly. She held his hand, listening to her mother's quick prayers for the meal on their table. Once she was done, everyone started serving their plates. Since Fil had just visited after a long time, her father and especially her mother paid extra attention to her. 

"Eat as much as you can, hmm?" Irene hummed, waiting for her daughter to look at her. "It seemed you lost too much weight in the past several months. I knew it. I should visit you now and then to make sure you're eating proper meals."

"Everyone in the city was always on the move. Time is important, but also your health," Simon backed up. "So, don't just resort to eating instant foods and microwavable food."

"If you can't, just come home every so often," this time Elijah joined in the conversation. "So, at least you can eat real foods."

Fil scanned their smiling faces yet worried eyes. They had been excited at the same time, their eyes told her they were genuinely worried. Aside from Elijah, none of them pointed out at her swollen eyes. If anything, they expressed their concern through her weight loss. 

Why did she not find the time to visit them in the past months?

Right… it was because she was too busy helping the people who didn't deserve it. 

"Would I get scolded if I don't want to get married anymore?" Fil's quiet voice, yet with a random question, stopped everyone from eating. She watched them all look at her, offering them a short smile. "I don't think I am ready to get married."

Irene's excited mask faded, casting her husband a look. The latter sighed as both of them cast their daughter a look. 

"Did something happen, Fil?" was the first question that came out of Irene's mouth. "I mean, did you and Vincent fight?"

"Is he calling the engagement off?"

"I knew that bastard is a good for nothing!" Elijah his teeth. "That too-good-to-be-true scam — he cheated on you, did he?"

"Eli," Irene called in a warning tone. "Stop that."

"Tch."

"It's not like that." Fil cleared her throat, thinking of her words carefully. "I just think... I'm not ready."

Irene sighed as she glanced at her husband once more. When she set her attention back to Fil, she smiled subtly. "Are you sure that's just it? Soon-to-be brides often experience wedding jitters. It's perfectly normal and understandable."

It wasn't just wedding jitters, though. Fil knew that from the bottom of her heart.

"If you're not ready, then tell Vincent you're not ready." Irene rose from her seat and gracefully took the chair next to Fil's. "Also, why would you get scolded for it? We're not forcing you to get married."

"Your mother is right." Simon nodded in agreement, offering his daughter a warm smile. "Why are you worried about our thoughts? We've always told you that we support you whatever you decide on. We even support you dating Vincent. Although we had conditions back then, you're old enough to decide which is the best for you."

"Sis, tell me. He cheated, did he?" Elijah narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "There's no way you'd call off the engagement if not for that. Or did he beat you up?"

"Eli," Irene called one more time. "One more of this and you'll be grounded."

"I'm old. You can't ground me."

"Until you're here, I can."

"Mom."

"Thanks." Fil squeezed her mother's hand and then cast her dad a look, and then Elijah. "Thanks, Eli. " She slowly gazed down, squashing down the traitorous tears that were tempting to stream down her face.

"Oh, my Filly." Irene carefully pulled her daughter into her embrace. "If you think that breaking up with Vincent will disappoint us, then don't worry. We understand even before you tell us."

Simon nodded in understanding before giving his son a warning look. Elijah cleared his throat and nodded. 

"I'm sure you have a good reason for it. I never liked him, anyway."

Fil scanned the faces of her family, all bore an understanding smile. They didn't ask for more. They simply told her the things she needed to hear. And it suddenly struck her.

Why did she ever think that they would get disappointed if she didn't marry her first boyfriend?

Her family might not be perfect, but they always had her best interest in mind. All they wanted was for her to be happy, even if Vincent was no longer in that happiness.

"So, are you breaking off your engagement?" Elijah asked out of pure curiosity. "Is that why you were crying? If you can't, then I'll help you tell it to his face."

Fil shook her head. "I'm planning to break off the engagement, but not now." She drew a deep breath, more determined and encouraged that she didn't have to worry about their reaction to the decision she had made.

"Why now?"

"Because there were still some things I have to do," she explained, keeping it vague. "I just wanted to tell you, so you won't get surprised in the future."

"Filly." Irene squeezed her daughter's hand mildly.

"Thanks, Mom," she paused as she shifted her eyes to her dad. "Dad, Eli. Can I ask you another favor?"

All three raised their brows, waiting for her request.

"Can you not tell anyone about it?" her lips stretched, watching the lines appear between their brows. "I don't want Vincent to hear from someone else before I tell him."

The three looked at each other and nodded, agreeing with Fil as she made sense. Elijah had always thought his sister was a terrible liar. He could always see through her, but not this time. 

It wasn't like she couldn't lie, she just didn't. But with enough driving force, she could do it with a natural, innocent smile.