How to Move Forward

The fall air felt cool as it brushed against Noble's face. It was already October, and the world seemed to know it. The Neighbors' trees were effortlessly dropping their leaves to litter the sidewalk.

Yet only Lena's footsteps crunched them into the pavement. Noble floated over without disturbing their resting place.

The older woman gave the younger a significant look and motioned toward the fruit in Noble's hand.

Though the Noble didn't much feel like eating after crying, she forced some food into her mouth before her mother verbally scolded her.

"There. Isn't that better?" Lena nodded approvingly.

"You know I won't give you the satisfaction of saying yes," Noble gave her mother a sidelong glance.

"You don't have to. Your sass says it all." Lena smirked.

Noble wiped at her face, letting the wind and the back of her hand dry her tears.

They walked along the street in silence while Noble finished her food. 

The farther they got from the house, the sillier Noble felt about her outburst. She needed to apologize.

"Mom, I'm sorry—"

"Do you remember when your father died?" Lena's question was so far away from Noble's line of thought that it took many seconds for her to comprehend.

"Yes," she answered at length.

"I didn't want to believe it at first. I had already almost lost you, and we weren't out of the woods yet. You still had to Awaken. I had spent nearly every waking hour worrying about you, so when the news came, I am ashamed to say I had to ask if they were talking about the wrong family member."

Lena's voice grew softer as she spoke the admission. In the moment, she had been more willing to deal with her daughter's death than her husband's. It was a choice no one should ever have to make.

"Mom, you don't have to do this…" Noble felt a small amount of panic rise in her.

"Let me finish. After the initial shock, I mourned for a long time. Eventually, I was able to take that first step forward. Then the next. Each one was easier than the last. I wished desperately for Lance to come back, but I slowly created a new life. I learned to cope. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't be happy to have him back at a moment's notice. His life was taken much too soon," Lena stopped, seemingly wanting to say more.

"Why are you telling me this?" Noble felt a tightness in her chest.

"Because your family feels the same way about you. Only instead of just wanting you to come back from the dead, you actually did. Unfortunately, we have already gone through part of the mourning process and have unwillingly taken a few steps toward accepting you as gone."

Lena wrapped her arm around Noble's shoulders and pulled her close.

Feeling more tears prick her eyes, the younger woman laid her head on her mother's shoulder.

Lena continued, her voice full of emotion. "But here you are. My baby girl is back! The thing we wanted most has happened, and we are overjoyed."

Noble's shoulders stiffened. "I sense a 'but' coming on…"

Her mother nodded. "We are so happy, but it will take some time for that reality to fully sink in. And just like you will have to learn what being a Master will look like for you, we will have to learn what being the family of a Master will mean for us." 

Relaxing slightly, Noble let out a heavy sigh. "So you are saying I just need to be patient and stop feeling sorry for myself?" 

"You are allowed to feel what you feel. It is what you do with those emotions that counts. Wallowing in self-pity is one thing, but using that feeling of discontent to move forward is healthy." Lena's words hit a nerve. 

Noble recalled the depression that she fell into when Seb died. While Noble wouldn't have called it self-pity, she had to admit that she had not used her emotions in a healthy way. 

"I'm not sure that I can do that," the floating Awakened admitted after a moment.

"Then it is a good thing you have all of us to walk with you," Lena winced slightly. "What I am trying to say is that we are in this together. Though I suppose we will be walking, and you will be, uh, floating. " 

"I know what you mean." Noble chuckled lightly motioning to her hovering feet. "Thus is the life with a flaw like Head in the Clouds."

Lena patted her daughter's arm. "You cannot blame your flaw. You've been that way since you were a child. I always said your mind drifted among the stars. I just didn't mean literally." 

The two ladies laughed, happy for the break in tension.

Noble sighed. "I guess I just want things to be the way they were before I left. But that is never going to happen, is it?" 

Shaking her head, Lena hummed softly. "No, but with the right amount of work, I think things will be even better. Just you watch." 

The two ladies hugged. 

"Thank you, Mom. I love you. I am sorry I am such a mess. Fort said I should seek therapy. It seems he was right." Noble breathed in the crisp air, fully appreciating it for the first time since they set out. 

"He is absolutely right. I am always a call away, but I cannot replace a licensed professional." Lena narrowed her gaze.

"I know. I know!" Noble held up her hands. "I'll get a counselor." 

"Good," Lena's normal smile returned. 

They walked for a few minutes in silent camaraderie. 

Noble pursed her lips, mulling over something her mother had said in her grand speech. "When you mentioned Dad, you said his life had been taken from him too soon. What did you mean? What happened to him was an accident, wasn't it?" 

Lena sniffed. "I just used a figure of speech. Don't mind me." 

"Mom..." Noble stopped her mother. "You know I can feel your emotions." 

Lena's lips parted in a small smile. "What is it that Gui calls you? An emotional lie detector?" 

"So don't lie." Noble thought the request was simple enough. 

Yet the mother remained silent, studying her daughter.

"You're not ready to hear this today." 

But Noble would not let it go. "Tell me anyway." 

At last, Lena grunted. "Very well. But this information cannot go anywhere, not even to Fort."

They both looked around. No one was on the street. It was unlikely they would be overheard.

"You have my attention. Tell me." Noble did not confirm or deny whether she would tell her husband. 

The lack of promise was not lost on Lena, but she decided to proceed. "The official reports say that what happened was an accident. That the building collapsed from faulty construction. But what the reports don't say is that your father was meeting with one of the great clans to discuss something he found...concerning. I believe that he was silenced." 

"Who was he meeting with? From which clan? What was it that Dad found concerning?" Noble felt the questions pour out of her. If her mother was trying to distract her from her own problems, this was the way to do it. 

Though Noble knew that Lena was not lying. The former director's wife believed this to be true. 

"I am not sure about any of those answers," the older woman looked away. "But at the end of the day, it isn't something we can pursue anyway. We have too many loved ones to protect that are still living to worry about the one that is gone." 

Lena's words were a sobering reminder that even a Master could not protect everyone. 

"I see," Noble chewed her lip. "Thank you for telling me."

She wasn't sure what else there was to say. It was yet another thing she would need to process. In the back of her mind, she had always suspected foul play because her father had been so far away from his office in the restaurant that collapsed.

Lena had simply confirmed her suspicion. Noble's head spun. 

'Ugh, I really do need therapy...' 

Noble looked down at her communicator. Therapy would have to wait for another day. Right now she was due for a date with the government.