Samoan Crisis/Lincoln-affiliated Republicans and Modified Monroe-affiliated Republicans
Upon receiving the shocking report card - NYSE Composite Index ∇23.52% - the White House was in an uproar.
It's a good thing the White House is far away from New York City, because if it were, it would have been lynched by angry investors.
The United States is a gun-free country, and not infrequently, presidents get shot on the street.
"Mr. President, the New York Stock Market is screaming. We need to fix this quickly!"
"..."
"Foreign capital is fleeing rapidly, and the capitalists of the French Republic and Great Britain, who hold most of our national debt, are in a mood to sell, even at a loss."
"..."
"The Trust capitalists have sent us a letter of protest, saying that if we don't fix this situation now, they're going to cut off all political contributions...."
As the situation took a turn for the worst, President Grover Cleveland squeezed his eyes shut.
Then he spoke in a low voice.
"Any country that would support us.... Any word from those damned bastards who told us to turn the German Reich's eyes to Samoa?"
"That's.... Yes. No word."
"...Abandoned? Huh, the land of the free, the United States of America, stabbed in the back...."
"I think they were trying to abandon us beforehand, judging by the way they tried to dump Treasuries as soon as the news broke on the European stock markets."
"...Damn! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"
The Secretary of State's words made President Grover Cleveland shake his head.
The gamble had failed.
Normally, he was not one to gamble with his country's future.
As governor.
He was a politician with a reputation for honesty and integrity, a "principled man of integrity," who had cleaned up corruption in public office and reformed state government.
But last year's election defeat forced him to enter the gambling game.
***
After the Civil War.
The Republican Party declared a one-party dictatorship in the United States of America in favor of the abolition of slavery, and the Democratic Party declared a one-party dictatorship in the Confederate States of America in favor of the continuation of slavery.
And as humans like to divide rather than unite, 30-40 years after the Civil War, the Republican Party split into two factions in the United States.
1888.
[The Lincolnite Republicans], supported by expansionists and extreme marketeers who wanted to annex Hawaii, the Pacific Islands, and California, as well as colonize Asia, Africa, and Europe.
Its leader, Grover Cleveland, was running for re-election, and his opponent was Benjamin Harrison.
[The Monroe Doctrine Republicans] were supported by isolationists who rejected European interference in the sovereignty of the Americas and wanted to keep the Americas to themselves, and by police stateists who wanted the state to intervene in the marketplace to resolve the contradictions of the market economy.
In the 22nd presidential election, President Grover Cleveland lost the popular vote by less than 50,000 votes (0.6%), but due to the relatively small number of electoral votes, he lost the White House to the Monroe Doctrine Republicans.
Why did he lose after working so hard for the glory of the United States?
It's all the fault of that evil empire, the German Reich.
Reinold West, the German ambassador to the United States.
He said, "We prefer Cleveland, which is friendly to the German Empire, and whose motto is free trade and lower tariffs, to the Republican party of Lincoln, which is better than the Republican party of Monroe."
The Monroeite Republicans then capitalized on this.
"The German Empire wants Cleveland!" was the propaganda, and the citizens of the United States, who had a shitty relationship with the German Empire, voted for Benjamin Harrison.
The Lincolnite Republican Party, which prides itself on being the enemy of the Republican Party, upholding President Lincoln, the man who started the Civil War.
They hadn't relinquished the presidency in decades, but this was the first time they'd handed the White House to a Moderate Monroeite Republican.
Understandably, the loss of influence over foreign affairs was worrisome for the Lincolnite Republicans.
"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! If a crystal Monroe Republican takes the White House, everything we Lincolnite Republicans have accomplished so far will be undone.... What are we going to do about this?"
Three months later, as he pondered the future of U.S. foreign relations and the future of the United States of America, a buttered tongue tempted him with sweet words.
"...Touch the German Empire."
"The German Empire, the world's second-largest power, unrivaled by anyone but Great Britain?"
"Yes. The United States of America needs to get involved in the civil war in Samoa, which is under the influence of the German Empire, and unite the expansionists, or we'll be swept away by the crystal Monroe-esque Republicans."
It was a bittersweet constraint.
You have the support of the expansionists, but you can't even annex the Republic of California, let alone colonize Asia, and now you want to annex the Samoan Islands?
The popularity of the Lincolnite Republican Party would grow exponentially, and even the Monroeite Republican Party would have a hard time doing it.
The only problem is, you'd have to pluck the mustache of the German Reich.
"Don't worry about that. We, the Reich's equal, will help you."
"...Really?"
"Yes. Don't think you're the only ones who hate the German Reich."
"Hmm...."
"Besides, you're aware that the German Empire has recently been involved in a civil war with the Kingdom of Saxony, right?"
"...I heard about it from the ambassador of the British Empire."
"Yes! The German Empire is currently in a state of disorganization with a new Emperor."
"But the civil war ended quickly, didn't it?"
"Civil wars and conflicts are never that easy to end. They're just a front for others to see. When the danger comes, the German Empire can't do anything, it's all about internal stability."
"...!!!!"
The United States of America is a quarter of the power it once was.
They were only able to bully the German Reich because they had just come out of a civil war that killed tens of thousands of people.
The world, not just the United States, believes that the German Empire's power is now severely diminished.
It's not for nothing that the British Empire is relieved, the Russian Empire, the Austro-Hungarian Empire, and the French Republic are creeping up on it.
"Besides, the mainstay of the German Empire is the army, not the navy."
"...Doesn't the lack of a navy mean that the German Empire has no ability to project itself abroad?!"
"Exactly! Here's your chance, get the United States involved in the Samoan civil war, and we'll back you up, and we'll buy tons of government bonds. Besides, we don't want a war with the Reich, we just want you to keep your eye on the island of Samoa."
President Grover Cleveland, unsuccessful in this election but eager to run in the next.
He decides to rally the expansionists within the Lincoln-affiliated Republican Party.
He couldn't resist the temptation of a buttered tongue tease.
"We, the United States of America, actively intervene in the Samoan Islands. Only for freedom and democracy!"
Twelve days later.
Telegrams shook the Americas with the news that three warships had been dispatched from the German Empire.
The world watched with bated breath.
The world watched with bated breath as the White House responded to the German Empire's invitation to enter a battlefield of blood and iron.
The 19th century is a time of romance.
A death match between the world's second-largest power, the German Empire, and the world's ninth-largest power, the United States of America, was about to unfold.
***
January 14, 1889.
USS NIPSIC.
"Captain...."
"What's wrong?"
"The German Empire has sent.... to the Samoan Islands."
The Chief Executive Officer of the United States of America being sent to the Samoan Islands.
Admiral Lewis Ashfield Kimberly.
He was surprised that Germany had responded to the light punch from the United States.
No matter how patriotic a soldier he is, he wonders if he shouldn't be afraid of the German Imperial Army, which frankly seems to be born for war.
"White House? What's the White House's reaction?"
"President Grover Cleveland is-"
"Probably a retreat, a retreat! It may be fifty years from now, but we, the United States of America, can't give the German Reich a run for its money yet. There's a huge power differential."
But the news from the White House cruelly crushed Admiral Lewis Ashfield Kimberley's hopes.
He'd barely sent three battleships to rally the expansionists, and now he was caving in to pressure from the German Empire?
A president bows to the German Empire, the #1 most hated country by the citizens of the United States?
...That would be the last day of the Lincolnite Republican Party.