Farewell, My Other Self

Oleandra lay spread-eagled on the surface of a lake, listening to the sound of waves lapping onto some far-off shore; the water felt rather cool and pleasant against her back. Above her, the stars twinkled gently, and green northern lights waved and undulated against the dark sky. Oleandra absent-mindedly reached upwards, as if to grab one of the shimmering lights out of the air.

"I failed," she said. "It looks like I died."

She was calmer than she had any right to be; after all, she had just been murdered. But perhaps death had a way of erasing all the troubles and concerns of the living.

"Stand up, Oleandra," said Viviane. "You're not dead yet."

She was right; this was not the world of the dead she had seen; this was her inner world; the stars above represented the runes inscribed upon her very soul, and the water underneath her represented her roots as the Lady of the Lake. But how could this be?

"You're not dead yet," repeated Viviane. "But you're about to be."

"How do you mean?" Oleandra asked, as she got up to her feet. "There's no escaping the Killing Curse. I saw it hit me. By all rights, I should be dead."

Viviane sighed, and looked straight into Oleandra's eyes with a mournful expression. It was a peculiar feeling, having a different face looking at her with the very same eyes she possessed.

"I have dragged your consciousness into your own soul," Viviane said. "In here, time passes as quickly or as slowly as one wishes it to. We are between one moment in time and the next, but even so, we are running out of time."

"Just to say goodbye?" Oleandra said. "There's no need. The curse on us is broken; we'll see each other in our next incarnation. We'll guide her well, and teach her all we know, won't we?"

Viviane shook her head.

"The other shadows and I are agreed," she said sadly. "Once time resumes its normal flow, we will take the Killing Curse in your place. As you already know, the Avada Kedavra will not stop until it kills something; and that something might as well be us. At the same time, this will constitute a partial Sacrificial Protection Charm, the same ancient magic which allowed your friend Harry to survive Voldemort. Without a living body to sacrifice, the protection won't be as potent, but I trust you will probably survive."

"But what will happen to you?" Oleandra asked. "You're already dead, so you can't die a second time…"

A sad smile appeared on Viviane's face; and at the same time, the other shadows began appearing all around her. Hundreds; thousands; tens of thousands of them. All of them, the people she had been in the past.

"We will disappear forever," she said. "When it is your turn to finally die, you will be the first of a new generation of shadows; you will guide the next Lady of the Lake alone, if all goes well."

"But that's impossible!" Oleandra shouted at them. "You told me souls can't be destroyed! You couldn't have been lying to me!"

Viviane and the other shadows raised their heads as one, inspecting the heavens. The baleful green light originating from the northern lights in the skies of Oleandra's inner world was growing brighter by the minute.

"I wasn't lying. Souls can't be destroyed, but they can be fractured," Viviane sighed. "Perhaps, there is time for one last lesson. Think of the soul as a sponge, which accumulates life experience as you age; it filters out your basest and meanest instincts and it is the core of any sentient being. The soul is composed of seven parts:

The Body; the perception of self as existing in the physical world.

The Spirit; this where we are now.

The Name; that which anchors the spirit to reality itself; an eternal record of your existence.

The Personality; that which makes you, you.

The Vital Essence; the spark that gives you life.

The Heart; your empathy, your love, and that which holds your karma.

The Power; the part of you that is touched by magic."

And then, Viviane spoke, her voice ringing out with the voices of ten thousand women as one.

"But we are Fairies from Paradise; death is not the end for us, for we who came before survive as the Shadow, to guide our future incarnations onto the proper path. In death, all is lost, but the Spirit and Shadow endure. But if the Shadow were to become the Personality once more, it too would be erased upon death."

"But why?" Oleandra cried. "Why do this at all! Whatever my life may be worth, it can't be worth all of yours! And I— I can't do this without you!"

Viviane put a translucent hand on Oleandra's shoulder and laid her forehead against hers.

"We are already dead; but you are still alive; within the living exist innumerable possibilities. And you've managed well enough without us for the first thirteen years of your life," she whispered. "I'm sorry, but it must be done. We don't know how the runes of the stars you've engraved on our soul will affect our rebirth."

From what little information Oleandra had gleaned from the inheritance she had received from the stars, inscribing the twenty-four runes upon one's soul guaranteed that one's personality and memories would remain intact even after death, allowing one to reincarnate as oneself again.

But this conflicted with the laws of death that governed over Fairies' souls. When they died, their Personality would be converted into a Shadow, for the benefit of the soul's future incarnations. But if Oleandra remained herself after reincarnating, then who knew what would happen?

"I'll give up my powers — I'll tear them all down, all these stupid runes," Oleandra wailed. "It doesn't have to be this way— I won't lose you; I won't let you— we, we'll find another way…"

"It's okay, Oleandra," said Viviane. "It's okay. Through you, we'll always be alive, even though we won't be able to talk with you any more. And though you may not know it yet, there are some things that are worth sacrificing your life for."

Oleandra's heart sank. She was talking about rescuing the other Greater Fairies of Avalon, wasn't she?

"You mean, you're doing this for—"

"Thousands of years have already passed since I last failed. Who knows what is left of our people," said Viviane, her voice full of regret. "But I know you— You might not think of yourself as a hero, but I know you won't leave the other Fairies to their fate. You may have the cunning of a Wizard, but you have the heart of a Knight of the Round Table; the bravest and most dedicated people I have ever had the honour to know. I believe in you— and now, the time has come to say farewell."

The green light they were bathed in was growing brighter and brighter, obliterating all shadows in the lake one by one.

"Farewell, Viviane," Oleandra whispered, glistening tears sliding down her face, her eyes growing moist. "The time we shared together was short, but I will never forget it for as long as I live."

Viviane smiled.

The light grew unbearably bright, and then Oleandra knew only darkness.