Prologue: I Love Gacha! I Hate Gacha!
Random Guy P.O.V:
I slowly open my eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling.
...
Who am I kidding? That's just my same old sort of moldy ceiling of my run down apartment. So slowly rolling off of my bed, or more commonly known as a foam mat on the floor because my broke self can't afford a real one, I start my morning routine. What is that routine? It's called shoving the cheapest cup noodles I could find that are most likely expired down my throat. Yum! Now then... time to start my real work! Picking up my phone as the cup noodles begin to get knocked over- wait! ah! caught it! That was close... anyways, now it's time to do what I do best!
...
Damnit all! This game and its stupid nonexistent rates! B-but... maybe just one more 10 roll couldn't hurt... surely it couldn't. I slowly pick my phone off the floor that I previously threw it on, I really should be more careful, these things are pricey nowadays. Besides that, I don't have any of the in game currency left, so sorry credit card, just a tiny bit more! You can do it! If I get lucky I can pretend I'm not suffering from the consequences of my own actions! Because I get to see a PNG of my favorite character if I do!
Once again clicking that damned button asking whether or not I really want to go through with my purchase, the cause of so much tears of both joy and pain, I buy just enough for another 10 roll. Then following up with another click to the featured character of this banner, which importantly I have still failed to get, the screen changes and I'm blasted with what I get. First off, trash! Second one... also trash! Third one is literal garbage! The fourth blesses me with a crappy three star, well at least it's experience! Fifth, cmon, cmon, and oh! It's a half decent four star! I'll take it!
However... six, seven, eight, and nine were all misses, all just fodder materials... number ten, I believe in you! I believe in your power! Oh! It's taking slightly longer! Is this it?! Is this the character I've been waiting for! The animation for this roll is ever so different from what I can tell, a skill I've honed in order to either disappoint or hype myself even before the game does so. And... it's gold! Its gold! Wooh! Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for! But most importantly is if it is the character I really want. The moment of truth as it gets revealed...
It is! It is! I didn't even have to hit pity! I'm probably the luckiest person alive right now! Not really, but I still feel like it! Good thing this character is both one of my favorites and a top tier in the meta, my life of endless grinding for things just became faster endless grinding for things! Oh the joy! I can finally be more of a masochist by doing even harder challenges! Ok stop for a second, this is getting too real. Just got to be happy over this victory and stay in happy land. Honestly, if the world just ran on gacha I'd probably be a god... just joking! That would probably suck-
[ Wish granted. Assessing compatibility. ]
[ Compatibility confirmed. 97.6% Compatibility sufficient. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ Requesting access from universe. ]
[ Granted. ]
[ Requesting access for system template. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ Granted by Systemus. ]
[ Requesting access for a gacha pool. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ Granted by Gachaurias. ]
[ Requesting permission for interdimensional travel. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ Granted by Authoritas. ]
[ Locating sufficiently powerful being to create necessary functions. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ Found. ]
[ Requesting use of power. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ Granted by Ra- name censored to avoid erasure out of pettiness- speech withheld for safety. ]
[ Requesting borrowing of abilities from ██████ for potential future help- ]
[ Instantly denied. ]
[ System creation start. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ System creation complete. ]
[ Host death required for completion. ]
[ Finding suitable killing method. ]
[ Processing... ]
[ Found. ]
[ Requesting borrowing of abilities from ██████ for killing- ]
[ Instantly granted. ]
[ Beginning Grand Gacha System finalization. ]
Excuse me... the fuck was that? Also I heard some very concerning things in there along with info that probably would start mass panic. I need time to process this...
Wait a second...
I swore I heard something in there that said I needed to die, well assuming I am the host it's talking about. What am I supposed to do now?! Should I go and hide-
???: Hahaha! Look who got picked for the weird lottery thing that I heard about! It's some random shut-in! I mean that is who most protagonists to these kinds of things are, so it's fine I guess. Well, they asked to borrow my power but I decided to come here and personally kill you, be grateful! Plus since I can just reverse all the damage, I'll send you off with a really really big bang.
Ok... why is there someone shouting very concerning things and floating in the sky above my crappy apartment building? Also a very big bang? But there are other people here?! Aren't they concerned about that?!
???: Hmm... not really, I've killed a lot more than this from collateral damage before, so it's no biggie! Well onto my job then, though I might get a scolding for this by her later... that's for future me to worry about!
Also wait, they can read my mind?!
???: Sure can! Perks of being stupidly overpowered, something that maybe you'll get some day too, up to a really big maybe though considering you got a luck based system. But it does feel great being all the way up here once you do get to this level!
Me: And can I at least ask what's going on here?!
???: You'll figure it out, in fact compared to what I went through I'd say this is far less of a rollercoaster. Well enough chit-chat. Time to die!
Me: Don't say that so enthusiastically you psychopath!
???: Tee hee? Anyways here comes your special order! 50 copies of Ea! 40 copies of Excalibur! 200 copies of Gae Bolg! Millions of random swords and stuff I found in my storage!
Hey! Hey! This is way too overkill! I'm just some average guy! Do you know how intimidating it is for that many swords and weapons to appear out of thin air?
???: But wait! There's more!
This isn't the time to be quoting memes!
???: Here comes the 20,000 light spells! Followed with the good old throwing 2000 mini suns at some guy technique! One of my personal favorites.
Me: I don't even know who you are!? Why do you have some personal vendetta against me with all this?!
???: I don't really, it's just for fun. Being at the top gets boring sometimes y'know? Plus its fun to be the plot device to start stories! Wait am I allowed to do that? Eh, I'm sure its fine. Welp, I think this is enough for murder.
No! No! This is completely overkill! But at least it's over...
???: Just kidding!
This girl... I think she is anyways? What sins did I commit to get dealt these cards...
???: Then I hit em with the supermassive hurricane! A classic!
Oi! You can't just casually change the weather of half of the world!
???: Followed with a brilliant display of summoning! What am I summoning you may ask? I'm sure you are absolutely shaking with excitement at the thought.
Me: I am in no way wondering or excited for that!
Then I see a supermassive summoning circle appear... great...
???: Glad you asked! It's Gugalanna, the Bull of Heaven itself!
Isn't this copyright?! Not only that, this is from one of my games isn't it?! Or was that my history class? Or both? Also the entire city in front of me just got flattened by it!
Me: How can you do this with a clear conscience?! Are you even human?! This is unnecessarily cruel-
???: War crime this, don't blow up the universe that, blah blah blah. You protagonists just keep on blabbering on about this useless stuff! Though I guess this does align somewhat with what your system is gonna be. Anyways final touch for your execution. Fun fact! Did you know that if you lower the entropy of a specific part of the universe it's gonna make a new one while annihilating the previous one?
Me: That's not fun at all! Universal genocide and erasure is not funny!
???: Don't worry I won't do that, then all this stuff would be pointless, you idiot. I'm just gonna throw a couple spears made of air that have been super heated to the big bang levels of hot at you! Close enough to making another universe. Oh! Another fun science fact in addition to that! A single nail superheated to the heat of the sun would kill everything in a 1000 mile radius! So how much do you think something heated so far above that would kill? Isn't it exciting?
Me: That's not fun at all either! Planetary melting is not a fun fact to think about!
???: Boring! Enough dilly dallying though, mission completely obliterate a poor random person begin! Go! My completely overkill execution method!
Me: Wait! Wait! Wait-
In my final moments of my life, I see thousands upon thousands of various beams of light, weaponry, and other various things I don't even know what to call coming at me. Is this how I die? Really? Well I hope reincarnation is part of this package deal, I doubt having a system as a corpse would be much fun... oh... the death rays are right in my face, and damn I just realized I don't even know the name of whoever decided to throw this much weapons of mass destruction at me-