Chapter XCVII: Confusing Gods And Crashing Parties

Tsun gathered himself with an almost deliberate slowness, pointedly looking away from me and surveying the rest of those gathered, most of whom were now kneeling before him. In fact, all of them had taken a knee, everyone except Minthara and myself in fact.

'How incredibly cut- solemn.' I reflexively covered my mouth to conceal a cough that never came.

Though judging by the amused shine in Minthara's eyes she shared my thoughts.

Nodding to himself after having found whatever he was looking for, Tsun spoke "I am Tsun, Shield-Thane of Shor, and guardian of the whalebone bridge. Be welcomed ye brave souls to Sovengarde, soul's-end, Shor's gift to the honored dead." He nods as they lower their heads further and turns to the two of us "And what of ye, wayfarers grim, what seek you in this place where no living shall tread?"

"Shan't tread, eh?" I scoff "But they are permitted fly, no?"

He closes his eyes and offers the slightest of nods "Alduin's soul-snare bares its dreadful grip upon the land and every soul that ventures forth swiftly meets its end. By Shor's command our blades were sheathed and we remained within the hall, for he foresaw our doom."

"You don't seem like a simple soul to me" I point out needlessly.

He nods once more "Your words ring true, traveler odd, yet my strength is below that of the World Eater, and should I face him on my own then the vile fiend would soon feast on those honored dead of the Hall of Valor."

"So you keep a barrier of some sort?" I quirk an eyebrow and look around, the lack of mist was rather telling indeed "That's fair."

"It is no honorable deed to watch as the wyrm devours the honored dead but my duty is to my charges" The large man admits solemnly. And then looks back up to us, his solemnity now replaced with a determined stare "So I ask of you again, travelers grim, what brings you to these hallowed lands?"

It is Minthara who answers "We are after Alduin, it isn't only Sovengarde that has suffered under him and he has earned his slaying a thousand times over."

"A fateful errand." Tsun nods "Have you come to bring these worthy souls out of the way for your battle?"

I blink at him, Minthara however is far less subdued "Out of the way?" She grits her teeth "Alduin threatens everything and you would simply have everyone step out of the way?"

The large man stares at her dispassionately "My duty is to guard the dead, it is their choice if they wish to follow you to battle."

"Honored Tsun" Gauldur speaks up "We know that to reach the Hall of Valor one must offer you a challenge." The god nods "Would our valor not be proven if we were to aid these heroes yet living in facing the World Eater?"

"Speak you from great caution or mere pragmatism?" Tsun looks down at the mage and before the old man can respond he answers "Should you give battle to Alduin of your own will, no greater proof of your valor will I need."

The old mage fails to hide a wide smirk and I note a hint of disdain in the god's eyes. There is far more than a hint in the eyes of Kodlak, Ulfric, and Galmar, but none of them speak up. Gauldur had made an oopsie, it would seem.

'He was behaving like an arrogant cunt' Scorch chirps dryly ''No true Nord' Right...'

Tsun once more looks to the two of us "I cannot stop you from offering your challenge to the beast, yet by what right would you seek to enter the hall of the dead and petition its honored folk for aid?"

"I am Dragonborn" Minthara speaks simply "The simple act I am standing here without the very land trying to devour me should tell you all you need to know of my right."

The large man inclines his head "Many a winter has it been since I have faced a doom-driven hero of the dragon blood. Your right to challenge me, I recognize!"

Tilting her head to the side with a loud pop, Minthara twirls her right hand, unsheathing Dovakren from a clasp on her back and with another twist leans it on her shoulder, her left hand remaining seemingly empty but already curling into a clawed shape, something she had gotten very used to since she mastered her dragon aspect.

Tsun tenses up, grips his own battle axe and in the blink of an eye the two clash, the bridge guardian getting pushed back by the sheer force of Minthara's strike, carving a gash through the stone below him which then quickly repaired itself.

Within the same instant of her charging him, Minthara had already shouted out her dragon aspect, and as she smashed her hammer into Tsun's guard one handed, her other hand, now covered in draconic scales and claws, lashed out for his heart, nearly tearing it out in a single swing as the god shoved her back and retreated a few steps.

Smiling calmly, Minthara too stepped back and tensed for yet another clash but it would seem her strength had been more than proven as Tsun lowered his axe "Your might" He shook his head "I have not seen its peer in many an era."

"That's it?" The poor demigoddess grumbles, having gotten wound up for nothing.

"We could go on of course" There is an amused glint in the god's eye as he offers her a truly genuine smile "But you are here for a purpose, no?"

"Yeah, yeah" She grumbles and re-clasps her hammer, stepping out of the way sitting next to the honored dead, who had naturally already broken out the mystical mead from out of nowhere and immediately began bombarding her with praise as she sat.

His merriment gone once more, the god turns to me with a far more grim expression "And by which right do you, traveler odd, demand entry into the halls of the honored Nord dead?" 

The word Nord rings out quite clearly and a silence descends upon the recently merry band of warriors. I just tilt my head with a smirk and decide to reward the question with an appropriate answer "I could go on and on about how much aid I have offered Skyrim and her people" I list slowly while approaching the frowning god "I could mention my accomplishment as archmage, or my deeds in dragonslaying" I pause a short two meters from him "I could even go as far as to mention stopping Bal from enacting a plan to shroud the world in an eternal night and place it under the rule of his vampires."

No doubt having some form of lie detection that works on a divine level, Tsun's eyes widen at that last one.

"But no" I still wasn't done though "I seek entry by simple right of blood."

"Blood?" The god asks very slowly "Of whose blood do you speak?"

Smirking so much my mouth hurt I unleashed a bit of my aura from beneath my shroud, allowing the ancient being before me to see exactly what I was talking about "By the blood of the Trickster of course" I bow flamboyantly "The blood of Lorkhan" I continue and look up with the shiteatiest of shiteating grins "The blood of Shor."

Tsun recoils, actually recoils as the last words leave my mouth, his grip on his axe making the mystical wood creak under the strain as his bewildered gaze refused to move from my glowing red eyes "Child of the thief." He hisses.

"Thief?" I step back, tilting my head as I did "You could look at it that way, but I have committed no theft of my own, now have I?" 

"Regardless" He almost growls "Your mere existence is an abo-"

His words catch in his throat when he feels something pressing on his neck, the Mortal's Razor poised a mere millimeter from piercing his skin and killing him on the spot "Come now my good fellow, we wouldn't want to use such naughty words that we can't take back, would we?" I pat him on the cheek a couple of times and add "Trickster god, remember?"

He grits his teeth and says nothing.

I allow myself the slightest smirk of victory and shadow step back to my previous position "Stolen or not, I am of Nirn and thus of him, I just have a tiny bit more of him in me, no?"

"Why would you reveal this?" Tsun sighs "Your deeds are more than enough to enter the hall."

"Oh that?" I blink and shrug "You annoyed me."

The god balks at me for the second time in a day "What?"

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" I smile at him "And I trust that my near rending your being from existence is enough for my 'proof of valor'?"

He wants to glare at me but is so thoroughly thrown off by my unusual behavior that he just straightens back up and nods "You have proven your strength and valor hono-" He pauses as he glances at me, sees my shiteating grin, and sighs "Just get into the hall now, please." 

Barely keeping ourselves quiet, Minthara and I nod at the disturbed god, instruct the rest of the group to wait for us, and step onto the whalebone bridge.

The moment we pass the first few spines of the gargantuan bridge and step out of earshot, both of us burst into laughter, Minthara wiping tears from her eyes as she mock-glared at me "Did you really have to do that to him?"

"He was being racist" I shrug and snort "As I said, play stupid games, win stupid prizes."

Wiping the last tear of laughter from her face, she straightens up and keeps walking "That was a nice distraction, hopefully we won't offend all the heroes of old into not helping us."

I just whistle innocently at that.

"Reyvin..." She sighs "No insulting the first Harbinger."

"I have no idea what you are talking about" I look away into the distant skies "Why would I of all people want to shit-talk Ysgramor until he cried? Do I look like I have that much free time on my hands?" 

Her deadpan stare followed me all the way to the grand doorway of the hall, her utter lack of trust in my bullshit placing a physical weight on my shoulders.

We both pushed one wing of the doors, sharply swinging them open and sending a slight gale through the Hall of Valor, which looked to be both paradoxically small and massive at the same time, allowing us to see everyone within at once yet housing far, far too many ancient Nord heroes for its supposed size.

"Well" I mutter quietly "At least the number makes some sense" Thousands of years of near constant conflict on at least a local scale would produce the thousand or so 'great heroes' I was looking at right now.

The music within the hall quietened down, and the residents stopped their revelry as they turned to look at us, their gazes ranging from welcoming to dispassionate to calculating, these were no pure heroes of the tales but the victors of great battles and challenges, and not many among their number could be accurately called fools.

A murmur passed through the heroic gathering and soon a group of five stepped forward to meet us.

Three I recognized immediately, all of them armed, armored, and ready for battle, the same group who had faced Alduin entire eras ago.

The other two I could guess at quite accurately, an old grey bearded man in familiar robes, and a tall man armored in the oldest style of armor present and armed with a mystical representation of Wuuthrad, that filthy thing.

Though their presence paled in comparison to the gaze that was not quite a gaze piercing, or at least attempting to pierce into my soul and see what I was, the feeling of distant kinship that only I could feel wafting in the air but doing no more than merely acknowledging my presence.

I was just kind of bullshitting Tsun outside but now I wasn't so certain.

In the short moment of my distraction, the group of ancient heroes stopped moving, and the one I recognized as Ysgramor stepped forward "Welcome warriors!" His voice boomed as his eyes focused on Minthara, pausing only for the briefest moments on her ears "Dragonborn. Long have we awaited your coming, our swords sheathed and our bitterness waxing even in these hallowed halls. Tell us, have you come to rid us of the scourge that plagues these lands?"

"We have indeed" She speaks and her voice carries throughout the hall "But the wyrm is mighty, too mighty for us to ensure victory, and we come seeking the aid of all who would risk it all to face the end!" 

"You would ask us to give battle, even in our state?" Jurgen Wind-Caller asks quietly, not that the detail mattered since everyone heard him perfectly "We have earned our peace, Dragonborn, do not be so swift to tear it away."

"I tear away at nothing." She answers simply, pointedly resting her hand on Jurgen's horn hanging off her belt "I only ask for those who value their valor more than their empty existences in these halls."

The murmurs of "Empty?" Spread throughout the hall, numerous questioning glances being directed at the perfectly calm demigoddess.

"Empty indeed" I speak up, catching onto her game, and swiftly earning a lot more questioning looks as people finally acknowledged my presence here "For what is the purpose you hold, feasting, and singing, and fighting in these hallowed halls if not empty stagnation? Do you not wish to notch another grand victory onto your belts, to prove once and forevermore that you are indeed the true heroes of Skyrim?"

"We have long since proven our right to be here!" An outraged voice rings out from far away yet close at the same time "You've no right to question our eternal reward!"

"One deed" Minthara continues where I left off "Two deeds?" Her gaze wonders the great hall "Moments in time, passed in a blink, and yet worthy of eternity?"

"Have you come here to gather allies?" Yisgramor raises an annoyed eyebrow "Or to question our worthiness?"

Jurgen sighed, seeing his companion fall for it.

"Question your worthiness?" Mitnhara smiles thinly "I have not done so, but if my words made you question yourselves, all you need to prove me wrong is to aid me."

"Hah!" Another voice breaks the ensuing quiet, a tall one-eyed man joining the group in front of us "I like you girl" He chuckles and bows "Olaf One-Eye" He introduces himself "My sword is yours."

"Balgruuf's ancestor" I mutter loudly enough to be heard "You ought to be worth something."

He smirks at me "I see my descendants have not yet lost their mettle."

"Far from it" I smile back at the man an we both turn to the rest.

"As are our blades and words." The other old man from within the group speaks up "We have failed in our task once, the chance to face the wyrm once more is not one we will miss."

"Felldir speaks rightly" The woman in the group grins "Alduin's bane is here, and our shouts shall rend the air in her name!" She bows her head to Minthara "Gormlaith Golden-Hilt will fight for you."

"As will I" The tall man beside her steps up as well, another man cursed with a lack of depth perception, and bows before her "Hakon is the name."

"It would seem your words have managed to stir some of our restless brothers and sisters" Ysgramor speaks once again "Many will seek to join you now but they need time yet to gather their courage" He grins at the grumbling crowd.

"I for one will not hesitate" The leader of the Atmorans grinned and grasped his disgusting axe "Ysgramor shall go to war once again!" He pauses, his grin widening and grabs a nearby tankard "But before any great battle, there must come a feast!"

A cheer breaks out and both Minthara and I immediately deadpan ""Fucking Nords""

Windcaller just scratches his head and lets out a wry chuckle.

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Look upon your hands, so feeble and lithe

Will they be enough, to pay the tithe?

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