Raising a child is not difficult. What makes it difficult is that the child is frightening.

I sigh when I think about what happened many days ago while I'm waiting for the ritual to be prepared.

After that cool declaration, there was nothing much as everyone quietly headed home. I remember Nigel looking like he wanted to say something but decided not to and followed Duke Gawain out.

A ritual used to seal the power of darkness needs to be carried out at night when there are two moons, which is in three more days… Don’t even ask about the two moons because I also don’t know how to answer.

Several things also happened during the wait…starting with my family.

My mother…Duchess Bedivere, after knowing everything, locked herself up inside her room and cried. Until now, she still refuses to leave the room. Thus, my father, who used the same bedroom as his wife, had to sleep in the other room instead. Fortunately, there are many rooms within our mansion. Otherwise, you may see him sleeping outside the mansion.

My father…Duke Bedivere, became quiet after that day. Every time he would look at me with a sorrowful gaze...I kind of understand. I am the eldest son and the future duke, but after this ritual ends, I will lose my magical ability and also be unable to have children. Hmm…it is really depressing.

But did it stress me out? Well…not really much.

I came from a world that is different from this. Being a duke sounds burdensome, so I'm not interested. Magics? Even when I have them, I don’t really put my effort into training. Therefore, me having a magical ability or not doesn’t really make much of a difference.

Regarding sexual inactiveness…ahem! In my past life, I didn’t…er…have a girlfriend and didn’t have any chance to use it. Therefore…I may not overthink it…

Actually, this matter is a little bit sad…because it sounds hurtful that both in my past life and my current life…maybe I shouldn’t talk about this…

In the game, Cass Bedivere didn’t die when he was a child and also didn’t have any magical power. Could it be due to this reason?

Because he has the power of darkness, that's why it had to be sealed.

And the person who sealed his power was Gilbert Bedivere—the future duke.

So that became the reason why the Bedivere family acted coldly towards Cass.

The reason that Gilbert Bedivere didn’t often use his own power is that he lost all of it after sealing Cass Bedivere's power, right?

This doesn’t sound right.

There were times when Gilbert was able to use his power in the anime. This means that I might not lose all of my magical abilities!

Or did he use someone else's power instead?

By the way, there was this one time when Gilbert used the power of his guardian spirit to protect Cass. Then, after that, he confessed his feelings to his younger brother. Hm…

Ah…whatever.

I close my eyes while rolling over. When I'm about to fall asleep, I suddenly think about my fujoshi sister. What would it be like if she were still here with me?

Sometimes…a world without her can be very lonely.

You idiot sister.

-----------

And the day has finally arrived for the ritual to begin…I'm not feeling nervous at all!

It's just that I was unable to get any bit of sleep!

I follow my father to the same sanctuary which was used for my brother's baptism. I think I'm seeing this sanctuary as a slaughterhouse since I'm about to experience a huge loss at only the age of seven!

Is there anyone braver than this…

After numbly following my father inside, I see the same dukes who have all come just as they did that day, and all of the future dukes are standing there sensibly just like that day as well. I'm only scared of one thing…I hope there will be no surprises such as that day.

I walk up to Nigel as usual before raising my eyebrows in bewilderment when he startles and looks away. If I were really a kid, I wouldn’t pay much attention to it, but after seeing that reaction…

I think I should stand beside my father instead.

Not so long after, a group of priests walked in. They all said something at the same time that I couldn’t catch before my father tapped my shoulder and handed my little brother to me. It seems like my father has realized that his own son has matured this much. That’s why he is looking at me with a weary expression.

“You need to walk to the center of that magic circle…” My father slowly explains. “Put Cass down in the northern direction of the magic circle, and you will be standing in the southern direction of the circle. After that, all you have to do is stand still as the rest will be the duties of the priests.”

Oh, okay, this is not difficult. I nod before extending my hand.

My father raises his eyebrow.

“Can I have a compass?”

“...”

In the end, my father decides to quietly take Cass and me to the magic circle.

After my father returned to his position, I began to yawn. Then, I saw a pair of rainbow eyes glaring at me…fine. I put my hand down and stood properly…

A song slowly starts playing.

A slight heat gradually creeps up my body as light shines softly beneath my feet. The patterns start to slowly spin clockwise. I don’t see anything interesting about it, so I choose to look up at the two moons instead.

I don’t know how much time has gone by as there is no clock. The same song is still playing beside my ears…really beautiful…

I don’t know if this is the chorus since it has been repeated thrice already…ouch! I was attacked!

I glare towards the direction where that attack came from…and see my ‘usual enemy.’ Fine, I will keep my gaze to myself.

“…Just draw your blood on the magic circle, Gilbert Bedivere!”

I obediently nod before searching for something sharp, then I spot a folding knife lying beside my feet. Is this the weapon you just threw at my head, Hareve?

I used to wonder why he had entered the SM path, but honestly, now I can guess…

I push the blade out before holding my breath and pricking my finger to let my blood drip onto the magic circle. I draw a few more drops of blood as I'm afraid it may not be enough. Only a few more drops should be enough since I'm scared to draw any more blood than this.

In my past life, anyone carrying a knife could be arrested by the police!

After that, nothing is thrown at my head. I think…I have done it correctly. There should be no problem for now!

As a matter of safety, I fold back the blade before throwing it out of the magic circle. After I went back to stand quietly, a new verse of the song began to play.

A few moments later, the light from the circle gradually becomes brighter as the magic circle slowly rises above the ground. The circle of energy is spinning.

I have a feeling that the ritual has almost come to an end.

Farewell…my future sons, who wouldn’t have a chance to be born into this world.

I wipe my tears away. I need to sacrifice all of you for the sake of my cute little brother! Luckily, in the game, he is very adorable when he grows up. If he grows up to become like Hareve, I won't be willing to sacrifice this much. Maybe I might even try to get rid of him…

I'm just kidding. Obviously, my younger brother is always more precious than my friends, lover, and children (that I don’t know whether I will have or not)!

The bright light shines even brighter.

Dear my fujoshi sister, since I used to have a sibling like you, I will take great care of my younger brother this time. In this world, there is no game for him to play, no anime for him to watch, and no doujinshi for him to read. Therefore, he will never grow up to become like you!

I pray intently as the ritual almost ends. When I think about my fujoshi sister, a certain BL thought suddenly comes to my mind as if these two things come in the same package.

There's one thing I forget…

If this ritual makes Gilbert Bedivere unable to have children…

…

'Don't look at me like that, I'm already a grown-up! Besides, I'm just trying to study anatomy! Tsk, don't nag me. So basically, Ushinawareta Hoshi is a BL game with those scenes…you understand what I'm about to say, right? Once you've entered Cass's route or Nigel's 3P route, it will not be just a normal making-out session, but instead it will be…ahem! Ahem!'

…

How did that immoral love route and that 3P route come to be?

The color starts to drain from my face. Wait a minute…they can actually happen, but maybe not in a yaoi sense…but…but…

But before I can realize…

The ritual has already ended, aargh!!

-----------

I feel like Nigel has been avoiding me lately.

In fact, if I'm not too stupid, I will be able to realize that my 'status' is very insecure.

The matters concerning my body and Cass' power are being kept as a secret by the dukes. However, I think humans normally cannot keep their mouths closed for long. A world is not that beautiful of a place. My father had also paid quite a large sum of 'hush money' too.

Maybe…my father's status is at a huge disadvantage right now.

Well, it is about being blackmailed. Although a large amount of hush money has already been paid, things will get difficult after this, and we'll also have to be the first one to back down since this secret is quite crucial. If the secret about Cass is revealed, I will be banished. But if it's the secret about me, another ducal family will replace our family.

I guess this year can be considered as a cursed year for my father… Well, later on, I will find a way to suggest a plan to my father. Perhaps, we could try to find out whether any of the dukes secretly have his mistresses hidden. This kind of thing can also be used as effective blackmail material, no less than my secret!

If we don’t have any evidence, then fabricate one! I'm sure that if we inebriate them with alcohol mixed with aphrodisiacs…ahem! Then, drag them to a brothel that only consists of male prostitutes to stir up gossip…stop it. I think I should quit the BL world before I'm beyond recovering because it is very risky with the current state of my body.

I sigh before sipping my tea…I really miss Nigel!

Nigel…can be hugged!

Nigel…can be snuggled!

Nigel…can be touched!

However…

“Why are you looking at me like that? Do you want to die, Gilbert Bedivere?”

A pair of fierce rainbow eyes stare at me aggressively, so I gradually pour him a cup of tea like a good servant. I hear a 'hmph' coming from him before he sips his tea. Hareve, who can't be hugged, can't be snuggled, and can't be touched, is currently sitting in my mansion.

I look at him with a melancholic gaze. “I just miss Nigel…”

No matter how adorable Cass Bedivere is, I'm still a gullible person sometimes. Having many little brothers is often better than having only one.

Hareve grows silent for a moment before settling his teacup down. “Nigel's status is not quite the same as ours. He may also…have many things to think about.”

“Why would children have to overthink things…” I sigh. “…Why are they so in a hurry to grow up?”

Growing up is not as beautiful as one may have imagined…

“Gawain family…is quite special.” Hareve chooses to ignore my mumble. “Because every generation of this family is the Head of the Council of the Round Table.”

I raise my eyebrow after hearing something I haven’t known about before. “Even though Lancelot is more powerful?”

“Yes, even though Lancelot is more powerful.” A son of Lancelot replies with a smile. “But being more powerful doesn’t necessarily mean that we can become the head, right? Choosing a leader based on the power one has is what uncivilized barbarians do…”

“Then what makes the Gawain family more suitable to be the Head of the Council of the Round Table?”

“I don’t know…” Hareve drawls before an awfully charming smile of him appears. “No one knows before we can see it, and that is Nigel’s duty to 'prove' it to us with 'all' he has.”

…Hm.

Suddenly, an image of an 18+ harem pops into my head.

Damn it.

The sacrifice of my manhood this time really took a lot of things away from me.

“Your current status is still not great either, Gilbert Bedivere.” Hareve presses his fingers around the rim of the cup. “You're unable to have children, you have no magical ability, and you're incompetent…no wonder why Nigel is avoiding you. I think he is still uncertain about what to do with you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Like…how do I conduct myself?”

“No matter how crappy a noble is, if that person is still able to maintain the family's bloodline, then it's fine.” He speaks…it seems like he is rebuking me. “But if that crappy noble cannot maintain the family's bloodline…what do you think will happen?”

Now it sounds like the dukes are living off their inheritances.

But of course, I didn’t say it out loud, otherwise, he might have slapped me. Hence, I change my thoughts and beam at him in a flattering way. “But…even when Nigel avoids me while the other future dukes don’t really want to get close to me…why is Hareve Lancelot still here with me then?”

I flattered Hareve, which makes him pause a little while he’s drinking tea. I can guess what will happen next: He will scowl and look at me with contempt. Then he will answer with a hurtful remark before turning on his heel and heading back home.

However, regardless of how brutal he is, his beautiful appearance really makes the way he turns on his heel look stunning—I give him a thumbs up.

But what a shame.

It doesn’t happen as he smirks instead.

“My father taught me to stay beside the people who are at their lowest moments…”

Such a protagonist’s answer. This is not fun at all.

His rainbow eyes narrow slightly as if he is thinking of something, which makes me shudder. Especially when he slowly mouths something…and sadly, I can understand it…

It almost feels like being struck by lightning.

“Watch them as they reach the lowest point, then offer them a hand when they’re slowly dying…”

I’m shaken from the inside.

This cute little kid has now begun to enter the SM path…