' Am I dead!? '
' is this the afterlife!?, or is it hell?' thought Michael as he looked or the equivalent of looking around him and all he could see, or maybe feel was total darkness, emptiness, nothingness, with a bright ball of light in the middle which he deduced must be his soul.
Another thing is, he seemed to be able to see a complete 360° around him including his "body", but for how far he can see? he couldn't tell, it was all the same for him no matter how far he looked only darkness surrounded him.
He didn't have a sense of time here and he couldn't tell how long it has been, maybe days, maybe months or even years.
He just floated in this nothingness, the only thing keeping him company was his thoughts and memories, the funny thing is, even the bad ones were welcomed in a situation like this, it beats having nothing.
'so it's true what I read about in some of those reincarnation novels and stories, after death we just turn into a ball of light and float around, hahaha the irony, some entertainment stories got right what science couldn't even prove to exist ' he thought sarcastically doing the only thing that's keeping him sane at a time like this.
After who knows how long he started to lose his sense of self, at first it started subtly like suddenly forgetting something, or becoming unfocused, or just drifting off thinking of nothing.
Things that he just attributed to this space affecting him.
But then it happened, after an untold amount of time he forgot something that a person should never forget, ' how much more do I have to drift in this place, and speaking of which....who am I!?, what am I doing here!?, I feel so sleepy, maybe I should sleep for a while, when I wake up am sure it'll be all better.' with that thought he started to slowly lose consciousness just like when a person drifts into sleep.
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'NO, WHAT AM I DOING' Michael's soul shook, if an outside observer was watching at this time they would see the ball of light slowly dissolving and spreading in the absolute darkness around it before suddenly stopping and contracting back into a ball of light, that's when Michele snapped awake, through absolute and pure will power Michael had pulled his soul back together in this pure darkness which was eating away at him, he had done something that none have ever managed to do before him.
If a being strong enough to understand what just happened here right now they would be scared shitless, but unfortunately in this complete darkness, there was nothing else except a bright ball of light that is Michael's soul.
But this time instead of the pure white it was before there was some darkness inside of it just like the one around it, which it seemed to have dragged back with it as it contracted back into a ball shape.
' i remember now, my name is Michael, I was born the first of February the year 1977 in...' Michael started to go through his memories one by one, again and again until he made sure he remembered everything and when he did he couldn't help but feel terrified.
'what was that just now, I had a feeling that the moment I lost consciousness would have also been the moment my very being would have ceased to exist' thought Michael, if he had a body he would have been shaking with fright right now.
' i need to get out of here and I need to do it fast, I don't know how long before what happened will happen again and if I'll be able to pull through it this time, there must be a way out, there always is.' he started looking around him as he finished his train of thought.
As he looked he finally noticed something different about his "body", first was that there was some darkness mixed into his soul and although he didn't feel anything different it was still there, and the second thing was that although he didn't have any legs he seemed to be able to move just by willing it, and move he did.
He couldn't tell that by looking around him as it was all darkness but he could feel that he was definitely moving, and extremely fast at that.
' maybe it has something to do with that change in my soul' this thought came to him but he didn't dwell too much on it, no matter what the reason for it was he sure as hell wasn't complaining.
And so like this for an untold period, he spent his time navigating this darkness, but no matter which direction he chose to go in, or how far he went nothing seemed to change, it was still all the same.
'This is not working.' he thought, 'am still thinking as a normal human being where nothing is normal here, what should I do, wait!!.... That's it.'
The ball of light that was speeding through the darkness at frightening speeds suddenly stopped in its place, and soon after the dark area surrounding it started to shake a little before stopping.
' HAHAHA I was right, the only thing that seemed to be affecting this space, for now, is my willpower' thought Michael.
Previously While thinking of a way to get out of here he suddenly got an idea, the only way he could move was through his will, and the only way he managed to pull his soul back together was also through that, so maybe the way to get out of here was the same, and so he tried it, he wanted to escape from this place and he projected that will of his outwards, and that's what shook the space.
'But it seems that my willpower isn't strong enough.' he thought as he noticed that he only managed to shake the place up a little bit and that only in the area surrounding him, he has a feeling that if he wants to get out he has to make a hole big enough for his soul to get through.
'good thing is the only thing I don't lack right now is time I can keep trying until I get it right' and so like, that time after time, Michael kept trying and trying, and time after time the shaking kept getting stronger and the area affected kept getting bigger.
'I am making some progress, but I still can't make a change to the area except making it shake, maybe if I try to compress the affected range as much as possible it'll be more powerful.' and with that thought, he tried compressing the area affected by his willpower or to be more accurate he compressed his will power to effect a smaller area around him and immediately a Change happened.
Not too far away from him a crack appeared in this pitch-black space, blinding white light was coming from it, it wasn't big enough for him to pass through and it was already closing, but if he had a body right now he would be jumping up and down in happiness.
'hahaha, even purgatory can't hold me f*ckers I'll get out of here sooner or later '.
After trying again and again that he lost count of how much the crack was finally big enough for him to rush through it.
And so without even thinking about it, he rushed so fast that he seemed to teleport and disappeared from this void of space, the crack closed right after he left and everything returned to the deadly silence it was at previously.
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' Ah, shit here we go again.' In a completely white space, Michael's soul in the shape of a ball of light with dark energy inside of it was floating there and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't move at all.
'At least this time I know what to do, but I need to be careful about it or else I'll dissipate completely.' thinking to here Michael relaxed completely trying to stimulate the state he got to previously.
And as he did so his soul began to turn into a fog-like substance and spread in the white space as if it was dissipating, the only difference is that this time he was fully aware of it.
When he was sure his soul has spread far enough and covered enough distance he used all of his willpower to pull himself back together but surprisingly this time it was way easier than the previous, way too easy, ' i guess all that time trying to break out of that dark space that I could only assume to be hell have been worth it.' he thought, coming to the assumption that all his previous attempts to crack the dark space had made his willpower stronger.
With his soul back together it looked almost the same as before but this time along with the black energy, there was a new one, a new type of energy, a white one that was almost unnoticeable due to the similarity of colour between it and his soul, an energy that he pulled back together with him inside of his soul, an energy that belonged especially to this space same as the black energy from before.
' great now I can move freely here' thought Michael, and he was right he started to try moving but before long he stopped.
'what's this, what is happening to me.' taking a look at his soul he could see that the white and black energy are clashing with each other as if each one trying to claim his soul as its territory and kick the other one out as if they couldn't tolerant the existence of the other one, but as a result, they were hurting him and ripping his soul apart.
'No this can't be the end of me, I need to resist, come on Michael you survived stuff way worse than this(no he didn't), you can do it.'
But, this time no matter how hard he tried to hold on, the fight between both energies was destroying his soul little by little and no matter how he tried to use his will it was of no use.
From an outside perspective, it looked as if his soul was coming apart in little specks of light the size of grains of sand and disappearing.
But what he failed to notice is that those little specks of his soul weren't disappearing but were slowly merging with the two energies, and slowly the energies became less fierce, and one looked carefully between both of them a little grey light orb could be seen forming which is the result of both energies and Michael soul merging, but he wasn't aware of this.
'Is this the end of me?, I guess it isn't so bad after all, I tried my best to survive but who am I kidding, who am I to beat the cycle of life and death, only God have that power and am certainly not him, it would have been really nice if I reincarnated as one of those protagonists from the stories I read but I guess am not that lucky after all' those were Michael last thoughts as he slowly lost consciousness after a bitter struggle.
Floating alone in the white void both energies grinder his soul to dust, that dust merged with the energies and under a weird twist of fate, those two primal energies which were never meant to meet in the first place merged together resulting in a strange grey light ball floating there in nothingness.
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