XII.

Tantan felt something warm touch his arms followed by a cold breeze. He opens his eyes and sees that it's another day. Sunspots kiss him good morning. He yawns and touches his head. He feels dizzy from the little adventure that he had last night.

Tantan went downstairs. No one's at home, yet he doesn't feel lonely. It's just right. He wanted this kind of peaceful morning even just for once. Di kamukha ng araw-araw niyang buhay kung saan ang sumasalubong sa kaniya ay ang iyak ni Julius, ang pambubulahaw ni Jennifer asking him to help them sa pag timpla ng gatas o ang mga utos ng Kuya Sander niya, bili mo'ko nito, bili mo'ko niyan.

Tantan cooked his breakfast, sinangag at itlog. Nag-timpla ng milo and took a bath. He wore his favorite white polo, white pants, and white shoes tapos kinuha ang sling bag at lumabas ng bahay.

He rode a jeepney going to Quezon City Circle. Lots of people are here to celebrate Christmas day. Tantan wants to go back to Circle of Fun at sakyan iyong mga hindi niya nasakyan noong nakaraang nagpunta sila nina Paloma at Justine dito and so he did.

He ran as fast as he could passing by a busy tiangge, the streets are full of kids running while holding balloons and cotton candies, the playground filled with families on their blankets taking pictures of their food so they can post something on facebook.

And then he reaches that special place. His heart is pounding as he hears people screaming in chorus while the roller coaster plunges down. Yes, he wants to feel that exhilarating feeling of freedom, his soul getting out of his body on top of the world. Up there he is the king.

Dahil naka-tingala na naman siya sa harapan ng ticket booth where the roller coaster can be seen, Tantan felt a bump on his back not noticing that people are passing by.

''Sorry'' said someone. He looks back and sees that it's the boy from the church who gave him a rose. They lock eyes for a second, Tantan looking up to him. This boy is like the structures and buildings he loves. Tall and majestic.

''Ikaw yung sa bakery di'ba?'' the boy said. Tantan releases air from his nose to let go of the tension that is slowly building up on his tiny chest.

He nods. But today he feels a lot braver than usual. ''Ikaw yung sa simbahan?'' he asks. The boy also nods. ''Mag-isa ka lang?'' the boy asks again.

Tantan nods and bit his lips. What on earth is going on? Tumingala ulit siya sa sobrang kaba. Sa itaas niya ang mga banderitas, they became alive, like snakes slithering in the sky they travelled to Tantan and the boy.

Pupuluputan ang mga bewang nilang dalawa pulling them together until there is no longer a space in between, just their bodies gently crashing on to each other. It was so fast. Tantan didn't even blink. He can hear his own irregular heartbeats. Then he heard fireworks and a loud festive sound.

Tantan wakes up from the dream. His alarm clock is buzzing and vibrating violently. He gets up and turns it off. It's already 6:30 am of January 2012. Today is the first day of school for the new year. Flag ceremony starts at 6:45 am. He's going to be late. Nagmadali siya sa pagligpit ng hinigaan na naka-latag sa malamig na sahig.

Stupid dream! Ever since he made that promise to himself that he's going to move on from the boy, these dreams became a recurring pattern of his holidays. Sa duration ng bakasyon na yun, Tantan chose to stay at home, clean the house and take care of Julius in order to avoid going to church but the boy's soul kept visiting him and now he's late on his first day which never happened in his four years of schooling.

Tantan ran outside suot ang lukot na polo, his hair still wet. Kagat-kagat niya ang sky flakes for his breakfast. Hindi na niya naabutan ang nanay at tatay. They usually go to work earlier than 6 am. He rode a tricycle going to school.

Pagdating sa Apolinario Mabini Highschool napansin agad ni Tantan ang napaka-laking gate almost touching the sky na bagong pintura ng kulay pula at asul. Siguro to give the impression that something is new this year kahit wala naman talaga. He stayed a few meters away from it malapit sa waiting shed, catching his breath.

Shit, the gates are closed at kasama ni Tantan ang sandamakmak na estudyanteng pare-parehas late, para silang mga hayop na kinulong sa hawla while waiting for the morning ceremony to be finished. For sure the principal will discriminate them. The national anthem inside the school grounds started to play.

Tantan gave up and sits on a railing that guards a few plants finishing his crackers. What a way to start his day.

''Psst baklang garampingat!'' Then Tantan saw Justine waving his arms theatrically malapit sa burger station, faraway from the growing population of late comers.

Tantan walked towards him, his body aching in every step. He notices his black eye liner and his cheeks na pinkish red. Parang sinapak. He knows it, he's moving on. ''Bakla ka. Late ka for the first-time ha. Tara mag cutting muna tayo chichika pa yan si Principal Majinbu. May surprise ako sayo dali.''