III.

Tantan walks with heavy steps. A straight face is written on his face. Families are gathered around, nagpi-picnic sa damuhan as the sound of a famous Christmas song envelopes the place. He's closer to his destination. He just needs to follow the pencil like structure above him which serves as the memorial of President Manuel Quezon. It leads to that special place.

Isang payatot na kamay ang hihila sa mga braso niya. ''Aray beh!'' he stops and faces the one who forcefully pulled him.

''Explain ko kasi muna sa'yo bakit ako na-late kanina chingu-yah, meaning friend. Hindi ka naman nakikinig eh''. This is Paloma (16) who has been blabbering words from her mouth which Tantan has been dismissing as he looks up. Kanina pa pala ito naka-sunod sa kaniya. Tantan then, stares at her shiny forehead then sharply towards her eyes, those eye bags tell a story of another sleepless night.

He doesn't want to hear her out dahil Paloma is famous for being late and notorious for inventing lies to cover up her tardiness. Probably the reason bakit maraming may ayaw sa kaniya sa classroom nila.

If Paloma's forehead crumples like a piece of paper and bites her lower lip after explaining, that's a red flag.

Kakamot si Paloma sa ulo. Tantan notices her arms na tadtad ng ballers with Korean letters engraved on it. Mas dumami kumpara last week.

''Ano kasi chingu-yah. Nagluto kami ni Papa ng…''

''Kare-kare?'' Tantan asks, interrupting her.

''Adobo? Sinampalukang manok? Chicken curry? Kapag late ka kasi yan lagi excuse mo eh. Or baka naman nagpuyat ka na naman kakapanood ng kpop?''

Paloma blows some air. She's caught. ''Eh kasi comeback ng Girls and Girls kagabi kaya nag-spazz ako hanggang 3 am, pero patapusin mo kasi muna ako. Tinulungan ko si Papa magluto ng tinola, ako yung nagtanggal ng malunggay eh naka-tulog ako ulit pagkatapos kasi nagpuyat nga ako, kaya hindi na ako naka-reply sa'yo. Mian-hae, meaning sorry.''

Her forehead doesn't crumple, and she did not bite her lower lip. Okay this time he'll let it pass.

''Sige na mamaya na chika minute. Tara na beh one-week ako hindi naka-tulog nanaginip ako naka-sakay lang ako sa roller coaster.''

He stomps his feet paalis pero Paloma pulls him again twisting his wrist. ''Aray bhe. Parang tanga kasi. Ano na naman?''

Paloma doesn't speak. She discards her backpack na may print ng siyam na koreanang babae in eccentric styling and outfits. She unzips it at naglabas ng isang rosas at isang white coupon bond with a message, meron ding 200 pesos na naka-dikit sa papel. She reads it aloud with feelings.

''Dear Paloma. May nagsabi sakin na pupunta daw kayo ng Circle of Fun. Gusto ko masaya ka. Libre ko na ang tickets ninyo pati yung rides. Sana next time ako na ang kasama mo. Pero nahihiya pa ako magpakilala. Saka na lang kapag ready na ako. PS. Fan din ako ng Girls and Girls. Sana pag nag concert sila dito next year kasama na kita. Bias ko si Yana Choi. Nagmamahal Ben Zayb''

Paloma's eyes are glistening, waiting for a reaction from his friend. But Tantan's face is stoned. He began profiling in his head kung kanino ito galing. Madami nang naging ex si Paloma, isa sa rason kung bakit ayaw sa kaniya ng mga kaklase nila pati nang mga taga ibang section. Malandi daw kasi siya.

''Galing kay Elmer Rongavilla, taga III-Gold? Akala ko nag transfer na sa Q. Sci yan kasi sabi ng nanay niyan B.I. ka daw? Sayang future valedictorian pa naman natin yan.''

''Baliw secret admirer ko to. Naka move on na ako dun. Inggit ka lang palibhasa kasi hindi ka pa na-iinlove chingu-yah. Pa-virgin ka kasi. Saka tingnan mo ang ganda ng rose ko. Pagbalik natin sa school next week hahanapin natin siya. Tutulungan mo naman ako di'ba?'' Inamoy-amoy ni Paloma ang bulaklak wanting to elicit another reaction.

Instead of feeling jealous while looking at the flower. Tantan's head space was immediately transported to the memory of the boy he met earlier. The way his skin feels on his, his baritone voice, his face, and the way its parts are aligned like the face of a saint. After kasi niyang ilagay yung bulaklak sa paso ay pina-alis na din siya ng binata.

A few meters away from him. He waited if the boy would look back at him. But he didn't. He was crushed in that moment. He hates feeling that way so he got out of the church and shook away the feeling, sakto hindi natuloy ang ulan.

He shakes his head. He's going to keep it as a secret from now on. Just like the roses in the vase kung saan niya tinanim ang rosas, he must burry the memory until it wilts.

Tantan's phone vibrates. He gets it from his sling bag and reads the message aloud ''Bakla, nasan kayo? Napilay ako tulungan niyo ako bilis. Andito ako sa tapat ng roller coaster.''

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Tantan at Paloma. They run as fast as they could.