1.19 Don't Leave Me

The next scene that followed was a blur in Ren Zexi's mind. It was as if his soul had floated out and he could only see numbly as his body did its subconscious reactions. He dashed to Lu Yizhou, crying out in panic. "Uncle Lu! Uncle Lu, what's wrong?!" Looking at Lu Yizhou's deathly pallor, an unprecedented sense of loss overwhelmed him and he was reminded of the despair he felt those years ago when his parents passed away.

No… it couldn't be. Lu Yizhou was healthy, he was still young. There was no way for him to die...

"Young Master!" Butler An's firm and steady voice pierced through the fog in his mind and sobered him up. Ren Zexi had never seen such somberness and gravity in his face before. "Please make way, Young Master! We have to give Master Lu an emergency treatment!"

E—Emergency treatment? He hadn't had the chance to ask yet when Butler An lifted Lu Yizhou up with the servants' help and brought the man back into his room. Ren Zexi numbly followed behind. This wasn't the first time for him to enter Lu Yizhou's room — he had even slept here often when he was small — yet this was the first time he found out that there's a secret room behind Lu Yizhou's large bookshelf.

Butler An handled the mechanism with ease and the bookshelf which took over the entire wall gently split open in the middle, revealing a totally white room — white walls, white tiles, white bed — and many, many other health related machines.

Ren Zexi stared blankly as the servants agilely lowered Lu Yizhou down to the bed and Butler An who activated the machines and started to connect them to Lu Yizhou's body. Their movements were swift and smooth...as if they had done it countless times before.

"Young Master…" A servant supported him worriedly and brought him to sit down. "It's okay, Young Master. Butler An will be done very soon. Here, please drink some hot water to calm down." He handed a glass of warm water over, yet Ren Zexi didn't move to accept it.

His eyes were trained on Lu Yizhou's face which was covered by an oxygen mask. "What is this...?" His voice sounded strained, even a bit foreign in his own ears. "What kind of room is this? Is—Is Uncle Lu very sick?"

The servant had an awkward expression on his face. "Sorry, Young Master. I am prohibited from telling you anything on behalf of Master Lu's order. You might want to ask Butler An instead because he's the one who has been with Master Lu for the longest time. Please excuse me."

Ren Zexi fixed his stare on Lu Yizhou; on his weakly undulating chest, on the rhythmic beep of the machine he had only seen on TV dramas, and on the foreign medical terms Butler An blurted one by one. None of them registered in his mind.

What was happening…?

Who could tell him what kind of nightmare he was in right now?

He clasped his hands together and supported his head with it, maintaining the same frozen position for an unknown amount of time until Butler An's voice called out gently, "Young Master."

Ren Zexi slowly lifted his head up, his eyes bloodshot.

"Master Lu is fine now." The butler smiled, a hint of fatigue between his brows. "Don't worry. He will wake up soon."

When Ren Zexi spoke again, his voice was extremely hoarse. "Is Uncle Lu sick? Is that... because of me?"

"No." Butler An poured him a glass of water and took a seat opposite him. "I guess he has never told you, huh?"

Ren Zexi clenched his trembling fingers. "...Told me what?"

Butler An contemplated for a moment as he had no idea where to start. No, to be exact, he didn't have the heart to break the news, especially to such a devastated Ren Zexi. However, this kind of thing could never be hidden forever. Sooner or later, Ren Zexi would learn of it. Judging from Lu Yizhou's temperament, it was more probable to wish for snow in summer rather than asking him to take the initiative. Thus, the heavy task of informing Ren Zexi was already fated to fall into An Kequ's hands.

Ren Zexi only listened during Butler An's explanation, neither replying nor showing any reaction.

Congenital heart disease; the words repeated in his mind again and again.

From the start, Lu Yizhou was born with this heart defect which was inherited from his father. He already had a heart transplant when he was in his teens and it was a successful one, making him grow up healthy. However, some complications still followed as he turned older thus he ought to always maintain a strict amount of exercise and a healthy diet.

So, that's why… Realization dawned on Ren Zexi. So that's why Lu Yizhou always had a bowl of plain porridge in the morning. So that's why the house was equipped with an elevator. So that's why Lu Yizhou had almost no social activities. So, that's why Ren Zexi had never seen him consume any drink other than plain water...

When he learned the shocking truth, every single scene he saw before fell into place.

The thing on Lu Yizhou's chest wasn't a birthmark like the one he had, but a surgical scar he got when he was around Ren Zexi's age. That was the proof that his heart could no longer manage to support his body…

Ren Zexi rubbed his face roughly, his eyes were so dry and tears could no longer come out no matter how painful his heart currently was. Lu Yizhou was a patient with congenital heart disease and he… he agitated that man so much that he suffered an attack.

Anger, sorrow and guilt flooded his heart. Ren Zexi you bastard, exactly what have you done to him…? Everything is your fault…

"My father used to be Old Master Lu's butler and personal assistant. Because of Old Master Lu's special identity, going to the hospital for routine check-up isn't convenient as many people would find out about it and possibly take advantage of that information for their own benefit, thus this emergency treatment room was built. After Old Master Lu passed away and my father retired from his position, I took over as the Lu Family's butler and learned how to apply treatment in case of emergency. Next time, if my son were to succeed my position, I would also teach him medical knowledge." Speaking until that, Butler An paused and shook his head helplessly. "Ah, that's not right. Young Master Ren is completely healthy so there's no need to learn this kind of thing anymore. That's a very good thing to know."

Ren Zexi laughed mockingly. Rather than Butler An's sentence, it was directed more to himself. "Aren't you angry with me, Butler An? Because of me, Uncle Lu—"

"It's not your fault." The older man cut in. He was already in his fifties and white hairs had started to paint his temple, yet his smile remained as gentle and soothing as it was when Ren Zexi first met him. "I have no idea why you two were arguing but you should know, Young Master Ren, that every single one of us is very gratified by your presence. Having you here with Master Lu has changed him completely in a very good way." A hint of sadness colored An Kequ's tone. "You have no idea how scared we are to live every single day without knowing when Master Lu will suddenly disappear on us."

Ren Zexi snapped his head up. "What...do you mean by that?"

.

.

After Butler An left for a short rest, Ren Zexi took his phone out to search for the term the older man had just told him.

"Old Master Lu passed away when Master Lu was still a baby so he only had us servants to care for him."

"What about his mother? Did she also pass away…?"

"No." Butler An shook his head helplessly. "Old Master Lu was never married to begin with. He only had a surrogate mother to give birth to Master Lu. After that, she was sent away and never seen again. Growing up, Master Lu never had anyone he could call family so…" The butler lifted his head to give Ren Zexi a smile, the rims of his eyes slightly reddened. "Please know that you're very, very important to him."

Was that true…? Just like how Ren Zexi couldn't live without him, Lu Yizhou also only had him in his life? Were they truly each other's only one?

His fingers trembled as he typed in the word.

Euthanasia.

[An easy or painless death, or the intentional ending of the life of a person suffering from an incurable or painful disease at his or her request. Also called mercy killing.]

A sob escaped Ren Zexi's lips and the phone slipped out of his hand, falling to the ground with a dull thud. He buried his face into his palms, his shoulders trembled violently. "Uncle Lu… Uncle Lu…"

He wouldn't ask the man to return his feelings again. He could even act as if nothing happened, to return to their usual life as nephew and uncle.

So…please, please don't leave him, okay?

.

.

.

A/N: fyi, the euthanasia thing happens before Lu Yizhou entered this world. So in the original plot, CEO Lu died due to euthanasia and not a heart attack.