Just Say the Word

It was Freddie Martin, of course it was, who glanced up from his ridiculously large coffee cup, his gaze flickering from Tom’s sex hair to the love bites down the side of his throat, to the bruises on his wrist, and said, “Man, you need to use your safeword earlier, Hampton. You look like you got attacked by a defanged vampire. Don’t you have court today? The judge is gonna flatten you like a pancake.”

His boyfriend, Tom, was rumpled and messy; just the way Detective Gabe Ellis liked him, honestly, wearing yesterday’s suit. One of these days, Gabe needed to set aside a drawer and some closet space for his boyfriend. About half the time that Tom worked late, they ended up in Gabe’s apartment, which was closer to where they both worked. In the few months since Gabe had finally stopped hiding the fact that he and the prosecuting attorney were sleeping together, Tom had become a regular fixture around the station.

Tom waved a careless hand. “That’s why makeup was invented, Detective Martin; don’t worry your little head about it. Besides, we didn’t even have time to get kinky this morning. This was just a quickie. Well, for us.”

“La la la,” Gina Juarez said, sticking her fingers in her ears. “You’re not a suspect, I don’t need details. Whips, chains, candle wax, I do not even care.”

Gabe choked into his orange juice. What? “I’m not hurting Tom,” he said, a little offended and a little worried at the same time. Gabe and Tom had been seeing each other on the sly for more than a year after dancing around each other, while Gabe had been mourning his wife’s death, and then coming to terms with his bisexuality. Amy had been half Gabe’s size, and while Tom was a little bigger and sturdier, Gabe was still in the habit of being careful with his lover.

Freddie waggled his eyebrows. “Or at least only hurting him in the fun way,” he suggested lasciviously. He apparently did not have Gina’s aversion to details.

“Everything is the fun way with me,” Tom said loftily.

Gabe grimaced. Jack and Freddie and Gina, they were okay, but not everyone on the force was as accepting of Gabe’s orientation. The Captain had been the first one to say it—that he was likely to never make Captain, that he’d just stuck a pin in his career—but not the last. Gabe’d had to scrub marker and paint off his locker before, spelling out what a pervert someone thought he was. It kind of hurt that Freddie was so ready to believe he was that way. “It’s not like that,” he said heavily. “I’m bent, but I ain’t twisted.”

Tom reached for his own cup of terrible station coffee to take with him down to the interview rooms and shot Gabe a wink. “You’re making it sound like it’s evil. I’ll send you some links to read on your lunch break; you’ll see.”

Freddie shook his head, mock-sadly. “How can you be dating Tom Hamptonand be so very vanilla?”

Gabe was pretty sure he’d just been insulted.

“Shut it, Martin,” Tom said with just an edge of real irritation to his voice. “We’re having plenty of fun without diving headfirst into the deep end. Keep it up and I’ll use you for a demonstration of notfun ways to hurt someone.”

“Seriously, stop,” Gina complained. “I’m trying to have breakfast here. I’m calling safeword on this whole conversation.”

“Eh, safewords are for wimps anyway,” Freddie said, pushing up from the table. “Happy, healthy, well-adjusted wimps. But wimps, nonetheless.” Despite that, he made haste away from Gina’s desk. Gabe wasn’t sure if it was Tom’s outright threat, or Gina’s eyebrow game that got him moving. Or possibly that there were donuts in the breakroom. Ugh. Freddie danced on the line between someone Gabe wanted to punch and someone he wanted to hang out with. It was a thin line. Jack, Gabe’s partner, spent a lot of time there, too.

“Sorry to put you off breakfast,” Gabe said.

Gina waved him off. “I’m glad you two are happy. I just don’t need the details.”

“I’m happy,” Gabe said, looking up at Tom and knowing that his entire heart was in his eyes, but not being able to help it. And he was happy. He was. When he wasn’t worried about what other people thought, when he wasn’t worried about losing the only person in the world he couldn’t live without. He’d lost Amy, he wasn’t sure he could stand anyone else leaving him.

Caring about Tom as much as he did, it was like setting himself up for another loss. Which was why it had taken so long for them to get together. Gabe’s solution to grief, for a long time, had been to refuse to care about another human being. But Tom had gotten under his walls anyway. It was still terrifying and exhilarating, more than a year later

Tom smiled, and it was real and warm, and just for Gabe. “Me too,” he said. “Couldn’t be happier.”

Gina blew air from an extended lower lip, puffing up her hair. “Sappy is almost worse than details about your sex life. I’m going to go to the gym now.” She gathered up the remains of her breakfast and fled after Freddie.