I sat at the head of my oversized bed in the back of my jungle palace serenading a pile of fucked unconscious women who look like they should be on the cover of a Manowar album with my magical bass guitar. In thirty minutes or so they should be ready to go again.
Jack and I had always been on the extreme end of sexual appetites, but since transitioning to demigodhood things had cranked up even further. I now understand Zeus. People always give him shit for being such a horny fucker, and he deserves most of it as the guy was very rapacious, but I get it. Randy as a god is no joke.
All that power, all that ego, all that brain blood descending to your boner. It's a recipe for fucked up choices. Dude should have taken a tribe of sexy Amazonians who paint their faces like KISS to serve as his harem so he wouldn't feel the need to turn into animals and rape people. I know I certainly don't feel the need to turn into an animal and rape people, so I must be doing something right.
Jack had left already to go play in the tank I made called The Good Nait. She loved riding around in that thing and shooting the laser panthers that terrorize our new jungle kingdom. I preferred beating them into submission and making them live in my kitty conservatory, but the wife wasn't as thrilled with them trying to burn her tattoos off with their death beam eyes. To be fair if they could do more than tickle me with those laser peepers of theirs I'd be on board to kill them all.
While Jack spent her days taming the fearsome jungle, I spent mine trying to build the Zaulia into something more than a late development addition, and with the powers of Brutal Lands demon teleportation I had no troubles doing it. I was only a spell away from any resource I may need be it part, material, or beast.
I built a forge where I attempted to recreate some of the feats of the Titans, such as making armor that made a warrior faster. My many failures made me begin to suspect that the Titans were far more technologically advanced than their backstory would imply. While they certainly maintained a specific aesthetic as barbarian warriors, my experimentation into the energy produced by the 'fans' of this world revealed it to be incredibly potent.
I believe that specific feat was achieved through a power armor, likely similar to the later Mjolnir versions used by the Spartans in Halo. Through a neural interface the armor would move faster than the body through the use of superconductors simulating a nervous system in the armor picking up the commands in the brain and carrying the signal faster than even the Spartan's augmented nerves could achieve.
It would take me years of experimentation to see if I was right, years I didn't intend to spend here despite the setting proving very enriching and pleasurable.
"Your holiness!" an excited younger Zaulia messenger entered the boudoir and kneeled, "A car of unknown make has approached the palace."
"Describe it." I commanded as I stopped strumming my guitar.
"Long and black, decorated with a skull in the engine block and purple painted flames." the girl answered.
"Thank you, my dear." I grinned, "It seems I will be having an acquaintance at my table for breakfast today."
Though meeting her naked would be the comfortable alpha move, I didn't feel a particular need to mesmerize Drowned Ophelia. I pulled on my pants and belt and headed down to my dinning room where a table waited with various fruits prepared for easy eating while the cook would bring out fresh grilled and roasted meats after I sat down.
Ophelia timed things just right as the meat had just been delivered when she stepped into the room.
"Love the look, girl." I chuckled, "Always preferred my goth girls with huge tits, but you pull it off well enough."
"You certainly know how to make a girl feel wanted, Grunt, and pissed off too." Drowned Ophelia growled as she took a seat at the table.
"I'd offer to carve, but I hear Eddie already beat me to it." I laughed, "The human revolution really must have meant something big before it all went to shit. Now look at you. A shade of a girl."
"Lars really did choose his hill to die on." Ophelia sighed, "Just like you said. And with him gone it didn't take Lita anytime at all to turn Eddie against me. Eddie, who was supposed to love me. Trust me. Just a few words was all it took for him to 'carve' my heart out."
"And a sad girl followed the call of the Black Tears, the sorrow of Aetulia harmonizing with her mournful soul." I added.
"They made it real easy for me." Drowned Ophelia stated, "Eddie is trying to cross the gorge and traverse the jungle to get to the Sea. I want you to join forces with me and stop him."
"And what do you have that I want?" I chuckled at the offer.
"Vengeance, mayhem, slaughter." Ophelia answered without hesitation.
I might have to check the perimeter for spies, cause girl knows me.
"Nice keywords." I grinned, "Of course vengeance would have required the humans to have hurt me."
"They rejected you. Spat in your face." Drowned Ophelia growled.
"If anyone spat in my face there would be no need for talks of vengeance." I stated, "There would just be vengeance. Immediate and violent. And rejection, a heart that can't take rejection is too timid by far to survive in my chest. My immune system wouldn't tolerate its weakness."
"Then what do you want, Grunt?" Ophelia hissed, "What do I have to give you to make an alliance?"
I stood up and clenched my fist, "I want everything you can think of, money and women, power and sex, status, glory, I demand the finer things. And in my entire life there hasn't been anyone or any group strong enough to stop me from taking them. You, Eddie, Doviculus… all of you can clash for my amusement, your drama a fine performance and all the world a stage. And if I get bored I'll show up and crush you all myself. Violence and mayhem achieved."
"You really think you're that much greater than all of us?" She scoffed, "That this whole world is yours to take anytime you get tired of your harem of jungle sluts?"
"You don't want me to come over there and prove it." I growled, "Get out while you can, cause if you stay here any longer I'll give you a real reason for sorrow and fear."
Drowned Ophelia raised her arm and tried to impale me on a spike made of black tears that came to a stop harmlessly on the scales of my chest.
"You aren't the first woman of your complexion to try to murder me in my home." I chuckled and exploded across the table in a burst of speed like a wildcat. I wrapped a hand around Ophelia's head and slammed her down face first into the table, "Tell me girl. Can you feel with that constructed body everything a real woman feels."
"Do your worst." Ophelia managed to growl out from under my grip.
"My dear, you would not survive my worst." I laughed and then whispered into her ear, "And you are going to carry that weight."
Would have wrote more but I am very tired. The begining of Grunt's monologue is one of the best things to come out of Full Metal Alchemist.
I ended up watching Eureka Seven with my son today. Not the whole thing obviously as it is fifty episodes with a sequal I hadn't heard of before. Made me honestly want to put Jack and Grunt in a Mecha world, but I don't think I realy have the heart to do all the research it would take to be fun.
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