Hated

Leonel exhaled a shaky breath, his body trembling. Pain directed at the soul was absolutely the worst thing he had ever experienced. 

It wasn't just pain that was the problem, it almost felt as though some higher existence was taking control of your existence and slowly erasing it. It was an assault on the psyche and body, an existential crisis bottled up and stripped of all the middle-aged angst that could make it somewhat amusing. 

It was the worst feeling he had ever experienced. He didn't want to admit it, but it had truly felt worse than watching his father and Aina die. 

No, it was almost like that experience had taken the worst things he could imagine and forced him to experience them with a dose of heart rending pain to boot. It refused to stop at just pain and wanted to destroy everything it meant to be Leonel. 

Leonel knew that it couldn't have just been the pain that did this to him, it was also what this pain was going toward accomplishing.