Open wounds

It was like passing a hot potato.

Celina hid her face in her palms. Her voice sounded dead and rough, as if she was holding back tears. "Xia… Xia, Mister Kraust had helped us so much, and you are betraying him like that? I… I never thought that you would do something like this. I never thought I won't notice… I should've noticed, should've convinced you…"

Her shoulders hunched; her whole figure looked forlorn and broken, as if she lost something important that kept her together. Eve had remembered seeing Celina like that only once before, when they were stuck in a cell on Chainsaws Base. Just like then, Celina looked like she had lost all hope. Something in Eve's guts clenched at the sight of it.

Xia's reaction was similar, but stronger. She put a hand on her heart, her fingers clenching into a fist. She made a step towards Celina on shaking legs. "Lin-Lin, don't blame yourself, please. I can't bear seeing you like that. You are Lin-Lin, you should smile, smile! Please, don't cry…" Xia made three more steps forward and fell on her knees at arm's reach from Celina.

Eve turned to Victor to avoid the emotional display. He was sitting threateningly still, tense like a spring ready to straighten at any moment, but calm. Calm was everything that Eve needed right now, for herself and for others. Logic was the only thing that stopped her from lashing out, and Eve felt that she had lashed out one too much time if Xia was going at Victor with a knife.

'Or she'd go at him anyway, just later. I wonder what Xia'd say if we just dated instead. I doubt she'd happy either,' Eve thought bitterly. 'Personal life never stays personal for some reason, and not just because of the lack of space.'

She wished things were simpler. Friends were such a great thing when they stayed friendly and smiling at you, when you spent dinners together, worked shoulder to shoulder and laughed at each other jokes. When people got angry, Eve could deal with it—somewhat. When tears appeared, she was completely clueless about what to do. Shout at Celina didn't seem like a good idea. Eve looked into Victor's eyes and wondered absentmindedly if it was easier or worse for him to not just see, but feel the sorrow in the air. His gaze gave her no answers.

"But I should've stopped you… I should've predicted," Celina hiccuped. Her face was still hidden, but the tears on her chin glistened in the light of the candles, "I thought I knew you best, Xia… I should've, I should've…"

Xia looked at Celina with eyes that were glistening with tears as well. All her toughness was gone, stripped in front of the person she valued the most. Xia was prepared for Celina to hate her, but she didn't expect for her to blame herself. She wished she could kiss the tears away. Her hands lifted to embrace Celina's quivering shoulders, only to drop when Xia couldn't bring herself to do it. Not when her hands were those of a cold-blooded murderer. If not now, then in the past, for sure.

Celina kept crying. Xia almost started to. Eve looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here.

Victor's presence grew denser, gradually filling the room like a wisp of smoke that would grow until there was nothing left to breathe with. The gradual descent of the room into a chaotic mess made him twitchier with each minute. A part of him wanted to urge the trio to come to some decision before he snaps, another one, ingrained deep into his psyche by years of cutthroat business, made him stay still and keep it in.

"Celina, it's not your fault!" Eve snapped and instantly regretted it. She added calmer, "Let's come up with some rational decision, and then you can cry as much as you like."

Celina paused, and both she and Xia turned towards Eve with questioning eyes. "Rational? How can there be anything… rational?" Celina asked.

Eve made a deep sigh and walked to the couch. She sat next to Victor, which put her right opposite of the two women. "Formalise the problem, break it down in parts, come up with a solution to each of it. The problem—after her opinion wasn't accepted by the rest of our group, Xia went against it and tried to kill Victor in his sleep."

Eve settled into a familiar rhythm of lecturing quicker than she expected from herself. She counted on her fingers, "First, Xia tried to kill Victor. Second, she tried to murder an innocent person. Third, she didn't listen to the opinions of others and kept pushing her point of view to the lethal extreme. If we are going to keep staying together, each of these can lead to more conflicts. And I'm so not going to be through them!"

Xia and Celina listened to her intently. Victor had turned towards her too. In the weak light of the candles, Eve's eyes glowed with green, but it wasn't what made them so enchanting. Victor's gaze flickered between her furrowed brows, the impossibly long locks of dark, slightly wavy from all the times Eve put them in a braid, hair, and her lips that turned from full to pressed thin in annoyance as she spoke.

Eve didn't notice the attention on herself, as her own was locked on the women. She looked each of them in the eyes in search of understanding. There was little of it in Celina, but Xia gave Eve a grim nod. Eve returned it and put down her hand. "Xia, starting from the beginning. I know why you went for Victor. Would you do the same with every man you ever meet in the future?"

Xia's eyes flickered between Eve and Victor. Catching her thoughts, Victor caught herself and turned his focus from Eve to Xia, but he knew it was too late. His fists clenched on his knees, and he knew Xia noticed it too, just like his tenseness and the fact that Eve sat at arm's length from him and didn't even think about what it could mean. Neither of the observations made Xia less agitated.

"Every man who is stronger than you and looks at you or Celina or me the way Kraust does," Xia said. She sat on her knees on the floor, but it did nothing to make her spine less straight.

Eve glanced at Victor, but he kept looking at Xia. That didn't mean that Eve didn't know what she was talking about. "Attraction isn't a crime, Xia. What if it was mutual?"

"Is it?"

Eve looked at Victor again, and this time he met her eyes. It was one of these looks that held an entire conversation within it, but it was a conversation between Eve and Eve, with Victor being only a silent listener. A part of Eve wished it was mutual, if only that could keep Xia from trouble. Another part said that it was, she just ignored it. Victor watched, but he didn't hide his support of the latter side.

Eve turned back to Xia. "That's not the point." The words sounded too much like avoidance to Eve, and she frowned deeper because it wasn't. "As Victor said, thoughts aren't punishable. And it isn't for you alone to decide the severity of the punishment for actions either."

Xia sagged down, suddenly left without the last vestiges of a fight in her. She knew Eve was right, but the idea of her or Celina suffering like she once had… It made her skin crawl, made her wish to do anything to not let that happen. She swallowed and looked Eve in the eye, and for the first time Eve saw the pain she hid inside. "I… I can't bear to imagine you, alone with him… so vulnerable, so helpless. H-he would pin you down, grab your hands… spread your legs apart…"

Xia fell silent, and Eve was grateful to her for that. That was too graphical, and the knowledge that Xia was talking from experience made it even worse. Eve couldn't keep that eye contact. It was a good thing that she still had nails to gaze upon. She didn't know what to say either. At her side, Victor frowned, struggling hard to keep his face blank. The images were unpleasant, to say the least, but he had seen worse thoughts. The idea of him being a part of them like that was much more horrifying.

It was Celina who came to save the night. She descended from her chair, sat down next to Xia and brought her into a hug. "Xia, it's alright. You are safe, Eve is safe, I'm safe." There were still fresh tears on Celina's face, but the new ones stopped flowing. Her figure was lit from the inside again, even if the light was dimmer than that of the candles.

Xia hugged her back, and her tears finally burst out.