Chapter 22: Nightmares

*This chapter might have some triggers so just proceed with caution*

"Jake stop yelling at me I did nothing wrong." I spoke looking at Jake in his eyes.

"Is that what you think, all you do is ruin everything no one even wanted you to be part of the pack, you were just a mistake and I feel bad for Paul because he imprinted on someone like you, selfish, rude, unwanted, and just someone who is so fucked up." Jake shouted with tears of anger in his eyes.

"You don't mean that." I spoke softly.

"Oh but I do." Jake shouted once again and walked away.

*Dream switch*

"Leah look out" Jake yelled running towards Leah and the blood sucker.

The blood sucker wrapped his arms around Jake's torso and was about to start squeezing.

I yelled Jake's name and even though Jake was mad at me I would do anything for him and I needed to prove myself.

I ran as fast as I could knocked Jake loose from the blood suckers grip and the blood sucker grabbed me before I could rip it's head off and squeezed. The pain was like no pain I have ever felt before all I heard was cracking which I'm guessing which was my bones from the pain I felt inside my body. I didn't want the others to feel my pain so I phased back and the pain began to worsen. I yelled for Paul or some one to come help but no one came to help. I was laying in a field naked in the worse pain that I have ever felt and no one was coming to help. I guess Jake was right I was unwanted and I was just a mistake. I closed my eyes and then I heard someone speak.

"Oh look who we have here a hurt puppy." The tall man stared down at me.

I didn't respond and waited for whatever was going to happen.

"I'm going to do you and your pack mates a favor, kill you." The man smiled an evil grin and got down on one knee.

He grabbed my neck and snap.

I shot up right and tried catching my breathe.

I looked over and Paul was fast asleep. I didn't want to wake him so I slowly crawled out of bed and went down stairs. I was trying to grasp what I had dreamt but I just couldn't, at this point I was hyperventilating and crying and I didn't want to wake Paul up with my loud sobs so I walked out of the house and to the beach. I couldn't stop crying, I was thinking about what Jake had said and I knew it was all true I did mess up everything, I was a mistake, maybe it would be better if I just was dead.

I arrived at the cliff and just starred at the waved crashing against the rocks and thinking what if I just jumped. Would I be hurting people I love or would it be a relief to everyone I love. I finally just sat down at the edge and kept crying I knew no one could hear me from here even with the packs sense of hearing so I let it all out. I was screaming and crying and then I heard a twig snap. I didn't care who it was if I was that red head vampire to kill me let it be her it would just make my decision easier.

"Candice?" Someone asked.

I didn't answer I just kept looking at the rocks below.

"Whatever your thinking don't do it." The person spoke again.

Part of me wanted to know who it was but then the other part of me didn't care. I finally came to the conclusion and look behind me.

"I'm not thinking anything Paul." I softly spoke.

"Well from the pain your feeling and where your sitting you have to be thinking." He said sitting behind me.

"I'm fine." I sighed.

"Your not fine I can feel your pain just not as much as you feel." He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I'm sorry you have me as your imprint and not someone good." I sniffled.

"What are you talking about you are good." He scooted back and with me still in his arms.

"No I'm not." I cried softly.

"Yes you are I would never change my imprint for the world I love you and I loved you before the imprint." He hugged me tighter.

"Your just saying that." I cried.

"No I'm not I promise, you are my world your my reason to live and if I think what you were thinking of doing the world would have lost two people today not just one because I can't live with out you, your my everything." Paul started to tear up I could feel small tear drops on my shoulder.

I didn't say anything I just cried more.

"And what about Seth he would be losing he sister, or Leah she would be losing one of her closest friends, and Emily and her baby Emily would be crushed and the baby would never get to meet his or her new Aunt, and the boys I know for a fact Quil, Embry, Jared and Sam would be losing their pack sister they love you. Oh and Jake he would be losing his best friend." Paul explained hugging me tighter.

"All I do it hurt people and fuck everything up." I cried.

"No you don't before you the pack was missing something we never knew what it was until you came, and Leah she never talks bout her feelings to anyone but you she cried to you and she never does that, Seth cries to you, we all love you deeply." Paul kissed my neck softly.

I didn't know what to say except cry.

"What even got you to this point tonight?" Paul softly rubbed my arms.

"I had a dream Jake and I were fighting about something, I did something wrong and he told me I was selfish, rude and unwanted and that he felt bad for you because you had me as an imprint. And then the dream switch to a later time I guess and Leah was about to get crushed by a blood sucker and Jake took her place and then I didn't want to see Jake get hurt so I jumped in and the blood sucker crushed my bones and I fell tot he ground phased back so I was naked in a field and I cried out for help but no one came and then the blood sucker came back and told me he was going to do me and you guys a favor and kill me so went down on one knee grabbed my neck and snap and that's when I woke up and came here." I tried explain with out crying but after I finished I started crying all over again.

"Oh baby I'm so sorry." Paul hugged me tighter than ever.

I turned around to face Paul and I just looked into his eyes with pain in mine, I was looking reassurance and happiness and maybe I could feel it. Paul just looked right back at me and I knew I was hurting him, he didn't have to tell me with words or actions I could just see it.

"I'm sorry for feeling like this I know it is just making you sad." I apologized.

"Babe I'm sad because your not seeing your worth." He smiled at me wit his beautiful smile.

"I love you and I'm sorry." I looked at Paul again.

"It's ok and I love you to." Paul smiled.

After that I could feel the sadness leaving and Paul's happiness feeling in the spaces I was going to be ok and it was just a dream. I can't let myself get like this because when I am like this I hurt people and that is the last thing I want to do it hurt the people I love.

Paul and I just sat there and watched the sunrise and held each other tight.