Bonds Broken?

I can't stand how terrified I feel because I know my life is going to turn upside down but I can't help but be happy with how life is right now. I have freedom, I’ve tasted it and I don’t want to lose it. "Hannah, I'm serious stop smiling," I say to myself as I look into my mirror in my turquoise room. The mirror Hannah is smiling back at me so I know I’m also happy. My brother walks in and says, "We're going on a trip because I think you're going mental. He starts laughing hysterically when he sees my deathly glare. He holds his heart and falls to the floor. He’s gasping for air because of how hard he’s laughing. I glare at him so hard and then I start laughing myself. "Oh really so funny,"I say sarcastically as I laugh at my own face in the mirror.

"Come on lets get going to school," he says patiently as I was busy running down the stairs while putting books in my school bag. "I'm coming I'm coming,"I say seriously as I almost miss a step, “I haven’t eaten!” “Then you should’ve wasted less time looking in the mirror and talking to yourself. Get in the car,”Timothy says while laughing and shouting at her as he walks towards the car. I grudgingly get into the car and sit in the front seat beside him. My stomach growling incessantly as we pass several food shops on our way to school. I sigh when we arrive.

We made our way to school, it was boring at first because we had math which I don't hate but the teacher just- no words. Only equations after equations. I’m so bored that I fall asleep but then I have a nightmare about equations chasing me. I know it’s not metaphorical. I sigh when I have to listen to these stupid equations again. They’re better than the nightmare.

After math, we have PE and we are learning self defense. I am a bit scared because I know how so what's going to happen. It went pretty well and that's what scared me. I learnt one thing about me and that's that being happy is not safe it always brings problems. Everything has just been going well these days and it scares me so much that I wish I could go hide somewhere like in a mountain. I know that won’t solve the problem because that stupid mountain can still turn into a volcano. Even if I go to the ocean, a tsunami will rise and consume me. The question is what would I prefer to die from? I sigh as I think about all the possible places I could hide and all the possible outcomes of how I could die there anyways as I take a break from PE classes.

And things are not meant to go right in my life so how is it possible that this is happening. I can't be happy. It’s just not normal.

After that we have art and she says to paint your fear and I did that. I see my happiness in the picture fading. My freedom being taken away by a monster that is chasing after me because they’re free. The monster pounces on me and squeezes the light out of my soul. All my family watches in horror. I think my teacher will be severely traumatized by this depiction of my fear. I run as fast as possible to lunch to meet my brother but he is late already. I see my brother’s friends there so I sit there and ask, "What happened?"

John says, "Your brother disappeared he's coming now now. But he said it's complicated." I nod knowing it’s something important but I wish he would let me into his life and his problems. He never tells me what’s bothering him. He never tells me what monsters he has lurking around the corner. He seems to have a few because he’s always running around and leaving me clueless.

"Hey bro what was wrong?"I asked when lunch break is over and I’m in my class. "Nothing don't worry, just mom and dad wanted to talk,"he says quietly since we are merged for this lesson and the teacher is strict. I just nod still suspicious as I watch him massage his temples. I sigh deeply and look straight ahead at the teacher who is rambling on-and-on about unimportant details that don’t concern me at this point in time. The teacher calls my name but I never hear her because I hear something else. The bell saving my butt.

When the day ends. I run towards my brother to ask him something when we hear gunshots and shouts. “Everyone get down. GET DOWN NOW.” I tremble as I realize this is probably directly related to me and my escape from the monsters clutches. I remember my picture and I already see the freedom fading. I still have my light but that will turn into darkness since the monster devours light.