Old Flames

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.

-Henry David Thoreau

14 March 2000

I often hear older people say that the past is never far.

I met Charlotte Davis 5 years ago. It was a brief glimpse of my past life. But the memory seemed so vivid, the pain raw.

I am led to believe that, in fact, that bit about the past, is somewhat true.

Because of the devastation from the woman I have first loved, I was able to begin a research that I believed would be a breakthrough to save humanity.

However, I will not disclose the entirety and complexities of the specific experiment in this journal in the unfortunate event that I lose possession of it.

You see, I have this ideology that when people acquire sufficient knowledge, they will begin to think that they are far superior than everyone else.

Nevertheless, if I were to make a record of what I have accomplished so far and in the unlikely event that my journal will be misplaced and fall into someone else's hands, everything that I had worked for might be exposed and in the worst-case scenario, might be stolen.

I cannot take that risk. Neither would that be my goal.

I think my fellow scientist would agree that our ultimate goal is to make a difference; make the world better.

Lately, there had been rumors of the impending apocalypse, a catastrophic event that would destroy the entire world and ultimately leave it with no living nor breathing species. Literally cleansing, probably, the whole universe.

Humanity would be gone.

Fortunately, I think I have found a way to save the world from total destruction.

--

AVA

I remember looking at a boy who was almost the same age as me when the social worker dropped me at the orphanage after trying everything in her power to reach out to Shay Zephanie's other relatives. But it was a futile effort. None of them wanted to take in the scrawny little girl whom they knew had a terminal illness.

Who would want to take the burden of caring for someone else's daughter, raising her and all that when eventually she would die anyway? The orphanage was the last resort.

It was that same boy who made my stay at the orphanage bearable.

He was known as Hero.

Hero grew up in the orphanage. He was someone without an identity. There was no trace of where he had come from. No record of him nor of his parents. His name was given by the director himself when they found him outside the rusting gates of the orphanage when he was a newborn, wrapped in a swaddling blanket. There was no definite history as to why he gave him that name. The director was simply a hero fan.

Hero and I had become inseparable with him tailing me around, which I had found annoying at first. I was at that point in my life when I was going through a phase. I was a mess.

The trauma of witnessing the murder haunted me.

I couldn't tell anyone about what I saw. Marcus Zephanie, the real Marcus Zephanie, had warned me of the consequences if I tell a single soul about what really happened.

I was having nightmares. I was chaotic, and the other kids were mean to me.

But Hero was different.

Eventually, I softened up to him. He and I became fast friends.

We exchanged our life stories with me keeping anything about Marcus a secret.

I told him about my parents, or at least Shay Zephanie's parents.

There had been a few times that I almost told him about my name.

But remembering Marcus' warning, I gratefully caught myself each and every time.

However, Hero was pretty observant. I think at one point, he noticed that I was different.

There was something about me that he could not explain. Yet, he never asked.

Hero was the best friend I never deserved.

I liked him.

He understood me in ways that others don't. He accepted me and respected my secrets.

I had thought that we would be together for a long time. Sadly, after the apocalypse, Hero and I had a fallout.

I took a deep breath staring directly upwards at one of the fluorescent lights inside Tori's apartel.

I was alone, a cup of hot cocoa in my hand as I sat in the kitchen.

"Are you enjoying watching this, Hero?" I said, knowing he was watching. He always has.

After Marcus Zephanie's clone had taken me in his custody five years after the apocalypse, Hero and I briefly lost contact.

Ten years later, he appeared at The Mesial, looking confident and has already created a name for himself.

In the years that we haven't seen each other, he has developed a love for technology.

It was after we had reconnected when I found out about the hidden cameras installed all over the zones and all over the Mesial.

A few select places were spared. But everywhere, there was no total privacy.

I remembered asking how he knew about that. Hero admitted that he was developing a software where the cameras would all be controlled in one place and eventually have the capacity to project films or announcements, something like that.

In that way, if Marcus wanted to broadcast a message, it was easier and accessible to everyone.

Frankly, it wasn't a bad idea, and honestly, my feelings for Hero had only grown deeper after learning about his amazing adventures before coming to the Mesial.

Unfortunately, I soon found out that he wasn't only there for that reason alone.

That was how we fell apart.

Secrets.

Lies.

It ruins the best relationships, no matter how deep and no matter how much love was invested.

That was a sad truth, which I had learned a little too late.

"I wish we could go back to the time that we didn't care about Marcus and his stupid plans. I wish that you didn't have to go through all of these just to oppose him". I added.

I was aware of everything that he had seen between me and Detective Oliver. I was also aware that he and Shay Zephanie had somewhat formed an alliance.

I figured that part out recently when I came to a realization that Marcus was not supposed to have taken me when Shay had put me out back at the medical building. He had no reason to.

I was led to believe that Shay was going to keep me somewhere else while she played her role as herself.

Given the limited number of acquaintances that we both have, it wasn't a far fetched theory.

I felt betrayed, though I didn't have the right to be.

Not anymore.

"But I'm not sorry for everything that you have seen. However, if you ever try to hurt Detective Oliver and his family or his associates, I will never forgive you."

The fluorescent light, which was embedded with a camera that I know was connected to Hero's hiding place, began to flicker. I closed my eyes and looked away, listening to the crash that eventually followed.

I turned towards the kitchen cupboard, where I knew another one was planted.

"This is all your fault. I can never forgive you if you ever lay a single hand on the detective and everyone close to him. Not again". I made sure to look directly towards the camera before continuing.

"You brought this fight between us now, Hero. I'll make sure that you and Marcus Zephanie will pay. Mark my words".