They say white in the Korean culture represents purity, but also the passing of a member. They say butterflies are the dead's soul, escaping to a better haven.
I believe it all.
I believe it's true.
We picked out her favorite flowers. I put on the first outfit she ever saw me in. I pinned up my hair up so my whole face showed, she said I looked prettiest that way.
We drove to the house that her urn was in.
Row 1. Placement 1. Jungkook's favorite number.
A picture of his mom was in the center with her birthdate and death date on each side. I laid out the flowers in front.
"She's proud of you," I said to Jungkook.
"How can you tell?" His voice cracked a little bit. My bunny was strong, but his weakness shown today.
"A little butterfly told me," I said, giving him my brightest smile.
Despite the situation, smiling was the only thing I could do. Crying didn't help. Smiling makes it better, smiling makes it temporarily fine.
"She's a good one, mom. I love her a lot. I'm happy that I met her. Thank you for giving her to me mom," Jungkook said to his mom's picture.
"Thank you for letting me meet your son. He's literally all I need in life." I grabbed onto Jungkook's hand and he squeezed it in return.
We spent a couple more minutes in there till it was sunset and the place was closing.
"Where do you want to go?" I asked Jungkook.
"Let's go to my mom," he replied.
"We just saw your mom though," I replied.
"Let's go to where she last was," he replied.
Jungkook drove to where waves could be seen for miles. Where the waters were endless. Where it was forever paradise.
"She was last here?" I asked.
Jungkook held my hand as we walked to the pier where it overlooked the waters. A tall, unsteady, structure right next to us. Jungkook started climbing up.
"Get down!" I shouted at him. "Jungkook stop!"
He stood on the ledge.
"She was last here!" He shouted at the world. "This was the last place she stood!"
"Please get down!" I shouted at him. "Please!"
He didn't reply to me. He just looked forward to the now set sun.
"Don't you dare jump!" I shouted at him. "Don't you dare leave me!"
This seems to snap him back. He turns to look at me with tears falling from his eyes. He climbs back down.
I grab a hold of him and hug him tightly. "Don't do that again," I said into his chest. "Don't scare me like that again."
He hugged me back, tighter than ever. "I'm sorry. I lost it for a moment."
"Don't leave me," I said, for what felt like the thousandth time. "Please don't. I need you."
"I'm not. I won't. I'll always be here with you."
I stayed in Jungkook's arms while the sunset and the stars appeared in the black night sky.
"I hate the dark, but I love the stars," I said.
"Without the night time, there wouldn't be stars. The night is when they're allowed to come out."
We were sitting on the hood of his car. We were just looking up at the sky, into the stars, dreaming, wishing, believing.
"The red or blue pill?" Jungkook asked all of a sudden.
"Is this one of your Matrix references?" I asked back.
He nodded proudly. "Now, blue or red."
"Red. I rather stay in wonderland than reality," I said.
"Blue," he replied. "Reality is where the real you is. Nothing can beat that, not even wonderland."
"But you appear in my wonderland. And in wonderland, it's forever happiness. Forever young," I said.
"Reality is where real happiness lies. Reality is where we can experience real things. Wonderland is a make-believe that sucks you in the more you're there. It's a dangerous place," Jungkook said.
"It sounds like you've been there," I replied.
"I had an argument with the mad hatter over you. And I had to fight the blue caterpillar in order to get to you." Jungkook looked at me and smiled.
"How charming," I smiled back.
"Only for the greatest," he said.
"Sure you aren't talking about yourself?" I asked.
"Yes and no."
"Let's go home," I yawned.
"We should."
On the car ride back, I fell asleep. And the only thing that would appear in my mind is Jungkook in wonderland with me.
♡♡♡
Nothing's been proofread, sorry for the mistakes.