Interviews

[a brief set of excerpts]

A Delicious Encounter with Heidi!

By Ellie Weems (excerpted with permission from Campus On!)

E: So, we're so happy that you agreed to our interview request! You're such a hard girl to get a hold of.

H: I'm not that hard to catch. Just wave some dumplings and I'm so there!

E: Is it true that you practically live on those things? I've heard stories from your classmates and year mates.

H: Of course not. That be so unhealthy. You should also eat veggies and take vitamins.

E: But is it true that you have, like, the Tongue of God?

H: The Tongue of what?

E: You know? Like that really old manga? Battle Soma? Soma's Food? Something like that?

H: Hmm…wait a minute. Where's my phone?

E: Oh, look, I found it. Here, let me share the link.

H: Oh, how interesting!

E: Isn't it, though?

(Several…well, many minutes later)

H: Oh! Poor Erina!

E: But look, Soma's coming to the rescue!

H: Well, at least someone's helping her. This is outrageous!

E: It's just a story. Well, oh, oops! We're supposed to be interviewing, not reading old manga.

H: Perhaps we could reschedule? I'm free next week. All that's on my schedule is World of Glory.

E: Oooh! You play that, too?

H: You're a player as well? Isn't it fun? I have this really interesting quest. Hmm… is your build the same in the game?

E: Me? Oh, no, I went and colored my hair at least. It's this fabulous shade of violet.

H: That sounds so…springlike to me. Let's add each other and resched, okay?

E: Sure! So, everyone! This is Ellie Weems with another awesome interview and another yet to come!

H: So, how do you feel about modeling? In-game?

*****

Hotness on a Stick Captured!

By Ellie Weems (excerpted with permission from Campus On!)

E: So, today we're here with hottest bachelor on campus, Nate Devereaux! So, Nate, what made you agree to our interview?

N: Well, I just got back into town recently and made some unsettling discoveries. Then you called, and I thought, why not?

E: You're making me blush!

N: I also read your sorta interview with Heidi and thought I needed to see what you looked like so I could picture that violet hair.

E: It's been a surprising hit. I'm still shocked.

N: You shouldn't be. You're so hot, it's scorching.

E: (giggles) You're just being kind. The hot one here is you.

N: That's what I've been told, but I just don't see it. I'm just the usual, happy-go-lucky guy!

E: Who's looking for Ms. Right! Everyone in my year has heard about it.

N: Well, I can't be alone forever, can I?

E: I still can't believe you are. Is there a specific type you're looking for?

N: I'm open to the possibilities. As long as they're willing to try, I'm game!

E: Oh, that is bad.

N: Is it working?

E: I, uh, well, back to our interview times!

N: Shame.

E: So, you were recently off campus. Care to tell what you were doing?

N: I was hiking in the Philippines. Do you know that I found a lost temple nearly buried in the jungle? That's coming out in a journal in a few months.

E: A journal?

N: Oh, I ran into this academic group, and we were traveling together for a moment. It was really exciting finding the temple.

E: And now you're in a journal article?

N: Oh, and a television special, but I think that's only overseas for now.

E: And how did you wind up in a special?

N: Well, after the announcement, these television trucks started showing up. They were really dedicated. They hiked all the way there and set up. There was so much equipment.

E: They hiked to this newly discovered temple?

N: Well, some of them might have helicoptered in, but I don't think they were actually journalists.

E: They weren't?

N: It was the guns that were a dead giveaway, but by then this army unit had stopped by because one of the professors was connected somehow, and there was gold involved.

E: Gold!?

N: It was really interesting times. I don't know why people think that's a curse.

E: And an army?

N: And a firefight.

E: You're making this up!

N: No, no. Look, let me share the link. It's in Filipino, though.

(several minutes later)

E: And they let you out of the country after this?

N: Well, US citizen and all that. They even paid me. It was fun! I'd do it again.

E: I don't think they want you to do it again.

N: You'd be surprised. I've got an invite to go on this other search in a couple months. Might go after finals.

E: You have finals?

N: Everyone has to graduate eventually. Since my cousin and her friends are graduating, I thought I might as well, too.

E: Now, that is news! Hear that, ladies!? Our favorite bachelor might be unavailable soon!

N: Well, if you'd accept my invite to dinner, maybe.

E: Oh! Of course! And this is Ellie out! Until the next marvelous interview!

*****

How Not to Invest

By Ellie Weems (excerpted from Campus On!)

E: Today we're here with Cora Devereaux, the cousin of the infamous Nate Devereaux!

C: He's infamous now?

E: Have you seen the latest?

C: There's a 'latest,' too?

E: Let me share the link. Here!

C: This doesn't look like it's in English.

E: You don't read Campus On!?

C: I've been really busy lately. Haven't had the time to decompress.

E: Oh, well, we have heard about that, but my editors said to skip it and just talk about finances.

C: It would be best, I think.

E: So, Cora! You're the finance guru the business school is the proudest of.

C: I wouldn't call myself a guru.

E: Professor Jamieson said that your prediction models for changes in blockchains were the best he's ever seen.

C: That was just luck. Never invest unless you're sure, and even then not more than you can afford to lose.

E: Like gambling?

C: Exactly! The stock market isn't a game, after all. You can go bust so fast.

E: And yet I've been hearing about this secret hedge fund…

C: There is no secret hedge fund. I have no clue what you're talking about.

E: Any tips for those of us trying to get started?

C: Get hired somewhere with a decent retirement plan and start building your retirement accounts. They'll grow slowly but surely in time.

E: That's what all the business professors say.

C: And they would be right. Hard work and patience is the way to go…oh, thank goodness! You helped me solve a riddle!

E: A riddle?

C: There's this riddle in this area I'm in that asks what's a surefire way to success and I was so stumped. Thank you so much! Vault here I come!

E: Happy to help? Are you okay?

C: I have to go! I've been farming and mining and walking so much, and now I think I might have a clue to speeding that up! Oh! And send me a note with how much you were starting with. I might be able to help!

E: I thought you didn't have a hedge fund?

C: I don't have a secret hedge fund, no. That's illegal, isn't it?

E: And there she goes! Well, this has been Ellie Weems for Campus On! Don't forget to read my next interview!