SEPTEMBER BLUE

"Exams 're over, Ashlee. Any idea what do you want to do over summer?" Dad was looking across the table at me, his eyes holding the sadness that had been there for six months now. "I can line you up a summer job working for Bob if you like, that'd be good experience for you before you go off to College."

I took a small bite of my toast, stirred the poached egg that sat on my plate with my fork. Nausea rose just from looking at it.

"Are you feeling okay, Ashlee?" Mom was looking at me now as well.

God, not now. Please, no. Sweat beaded my forehead. I was going to throw up, I knew it. I pushed my chair back, bolted for the washroom. Made it just in time to get my head over the bowl before my stomach heaved. That glass of milk and those fragments of toast came right back up.

"Ashlee, what's wrong dear?" Mom was there, beside me, her arm around my shoulder as I heaved and heaved, nothing coming up now from my empty stomach but bitter bile. It'd been days since I'd managed to eat anything substantial but there was no hunger in me, no desire for food, just emptiness. The tears came. Always the tears. Crying. I was crying again, sobbing uncontrollably as the residual bile burned my throat. Mom was there beside me, wiping my face, giving me a glass of water to rinse out my mouth.

"It's okay, Ashlee. It's okay. We know, we miss him too. We all miss him so much." Mom was crying now too, her misery reflecting mine.

"Mom ... Mom." I buried my head against her shoulder, welcoming her arm around me, shaking, knowing I'd have to tell her. I'd have to tell Mom and Dad soon. This wasn't something I could hide much longer. Something I'd wanted to share with them. Something that I feared sharing with them. Feared? I was terrified.

This was one secret I wasn't going to be able to keep for much longer. This week. Next week. The week after. It was all going to come out. There wasn't any point in not telling them, not now, but what would they say? I dreaded their reaction. Dreaded? I was terrified.

Mom hugged me closer. "I know dear, I know, we all miss Ryan so much. We all loved him but he's gone, we have to accept that, we have to mourn him and put it aside and go on to live our own lives, honey. I'm so sorry..."

I knew how hard it was for Mom to say that. Ryan was her son, hers and Dad's. Me, I was adopted. They'd adopted me when I was a baby. Rescued me from an orphanage in China. They loved me, I knew, but Ryan had been really theirs. Their only son. Medical complications. Mom couldn't have more babies after Ryan and she'd wanted a girl so much, so her and Dad, they'd adopted me. They loved me just as I loved them, but Ryan was truly theirs.

"It's not that, Mom, it's not. I miss Ryan, I miss him so much...."

"I know you do, honey, I know you do...we all do."

"I'm going to have a baby." It just came out if my mouth. Out of nowhere.

"You will dear, you will." Mom hugged me.

"No, I mean, I am, Mom. I'm going to, I'm pregnant." I needed to throw up again. Heaving and heaving, but nothing came. I sagged back against the wall, panting, sweat trickling down my face. Mom's face filled my vision, suddenly so startled and shocked. She was going to hate me for what I'd done, I knew. I was so scared. So frightened. But there wasn't anything else I could do. Not now. It was already starting to show, I couldn't hide it, not for much longer. Another week or two maybe. Not any longer. It was already six months. I'd hidden what was happening to me for this long to make sure there was no going back. None.

"Ohhhh Ashlee." Mom's arm was around me again, holding me so close. Her other hand stroking my head so gently. "It's okay, honey. It's okay, really. These things happen Ashlee. We're your Mom and Dad, whatever happens, okay honey. We love you and we're here for you. We're always going to be here for you, no matter what."

I started to cry again, scared, relieved, still sick at heart. That was only part of it. I needed to tell Mom the rest. I needed to tell her everything.

"Mom, the baby." I buried my head in Mom's shoulder, sobbing, heart pounding. I had to tell her. I had to tell someone, I couldn't hold the knowledge inside my head, alone, not anymore. Not now. "It's Ryan's."

Dizzy. Falling. Blackness. Nothing...

* * *

God, this was so frustrating. Jen was going to be here any second and I couldn't find my new panties. I'd bought them last weekend at the Outlet Mall down the road to tease Lee with, tucked them away in the back of my lingerie drawer and now, when I wanted them, I couldn't find them. I really wanted to wear those new g-string panties tonight, I'd never worn a g-string before and I just knew it'd do things for Lee when he found out what I had on under my costume. Just buying it had done things for me. Where was it? I knew I'd put it in here. Found it! The opposite end of the drawer, tucked down the bottom. I must've remembered wrong. Slip into them, slide into my jeans and a t-shirt, no bra, race downstairs. Smiling, knowing that Lee was on a hot date tonight. He just didn't know it yet.

"You off, Ashlee?" Ryan looked up as I walked past the family room.

"Yeah, date with Lee tonight, going to a Halloween party." I gave my big bro a happy smile. He was home for the weekend. I'd missed him a lot after he moved away to go to College out of state. Wasn't telling him that though, it'd go to his head.

"That dude Lee, he's a total loser. All he wants to do is party. You shouldn't date him, Ashlee." Ryan's disapproval was blatantly obvious. It always was when it came to the guys I dated. Always had been. He wasn't nasty about it or anything. Just, he never thought any of them were good enough for me.

"It's okay, Ryan, really." I smiled. "Honestly, big bro, you worry too much, we're all going to the party together, it's not just him and me, okay. Erika and Jenny and their dates are coming too. Jenny's driving. Satisfied now? Anyhow, I go out with him all the time when you're not home."

Ryan shook his head. "Still don't think you should go with Lee. Those parties he goes to get pretty wild. I don't like that guy."

I tossed my hair back. "Ryan, don't do the big brother thing on me, okay, I'm a big girl now. Anyhow, you don't like anyone I date, you never have. And I heard all about the parties you used to go to before you went off to College, okay. You dated a couple of my friends, remember. I know all about you, Ryan, you bad bad boy."

He grinned. "That's different, I'm a guy."

"Huh." As if that should make a difference.

"What're you wearing anyhow? And hey ... where's your bra? You can't go out like that."

"Hey, my bra's none of your business, bro. And I'm not showing you my costume, you'd just be rude about it." I didn't really have a parental envelope with my clothes, Mom and Dad were okay with whatever I wore. Ryan's envelope was a lot more conservative than Mom and Dad's. He really didn't like my micro-miniskirts. When he lived at home I used to wear them just to see how riled up I could get him before I went out on a date. He'd watch me and watch me and watch me with this disapproving look on his face. Sometimes I'd flash my panties at him just to see how disapproving I could get him to be. I didn't do that now though. I was wearing jeans.

He laughed. "Okay, okay, show me when we all get home tonight." He looked at the clock. "I better run, meeting a couple of the guys, got our own Halloween Party to get to."

"Where's yours?"

"No idea, some buddy of Dave's."

"So what're you wearing?" I smiled.

"No idea, Dave was picking up the costumes. Anyhow, you have fun, baby sis, just stay out of trouble and make sure that dude keeps his hands where they should be."

I giggled. "As if. I never get into trouble. You know that bro, I'm a good girl. Not like you!" I liked Lee, I liked him a lot. He was probably going to get what he normally got, a kiss and a good feel, although I'd been thinking about giving him more. Hey, that's why I'd bought that g-string. Hmmmmmm. Well, I'd be staying out of trouble but we'd see what Lee got tonight. I wasn't drawing any hard lines.

His phone buzzed, he gave it a quick look. "My ride's here. You keep it that way, sis. See you later." And he was out the door.

* * *

"What costume did you get, Ashlee?" Erika's voice floated through the open doorway. She was busy doing her makeup.

"You'll see when you make it out of your bathroom." Jenny and I grinned at each other. Erika always took longer than the rest of us. Every time. Lee was downstairs waiting with Cody. We were picking up Erika's boyfriend, Bryce, on the way to the party.

"Think my costume's okay, Jen?" Okay, I was nervous. This was my first "allowed out on a date" Halloween Party. Last year, I'd been seventeen. Mom and Dad's rules. I'd had to bring my date to the party they were going to. That'd been so sucky. My costume last year had been sucky too. Mulan. For goodness sake, I'd been a walking cliché.

Tonight. Eighteen. Allowed out. Freedom. I'd picked my own costume. Online. Hot witch. And okay, it might be clichéd but it was my pick and it was hot hot hot. Delivered to Jen's. Her parents were a lot more tolerant than mine.

"Ashlee, your costume's hot." Jenny was emphatic. "Your big problem's gonna be keeping Lee's hands out from under. It's well, ah, that skirt's short and the rest of it sure it shows a lot."

Now I did smile. I'd wanted something hot and sexy. My costume was all of that. Rather more than I'd intended, to be honest, especially combined with those fishnet thigh-highs and my new g-string panties. The top was maybe a little bit too sheer for no bra as well. You could tell I wasn't wearing one. Easily. That costume had looked good on the web page. Wearing it, I kind of thought I better stick close to Lee tonight. Not that I was shy or anything, but this costume showed of rather a lot of me and I wasn't intending on asking for trouble. Now Lee trying it on with me? That was another story and a problem I didn't mind having.

Lee tried it on, but he never pushed it too hard. Not hard enough that I got annoyed with him anyhow. He always pushed though. I liked it that he pushed, it was fun stopping him after a while. Tonight, hmmm, maybe I'd let him push a little further. How far though, that was the question. I wasn't sure. I mean, he wasn't getting a home run. A good long feel, sure. I liked that. I liked his hand inside my panties a lot, he was good at driving me crazy and I loved how his hand made me feel. But I hadn't made up my mind yet whether he was going to be that first special guy or not. I was tempted, but definitely not yet. Not until I was sure.

Maybe a blowjob though? All my friends gave their boyfriends those. I kind of thought I might be the only holdout out of all my friends. A blowjob then? That'd keep Lee happy for a while and it might be fun. I liked Lee. Okay, maybe he was a party animal but I got the feeling that he really liked me although he'd never said so. He wasn't much for the emotional stuff but what guy was? He did take good care of me when we were out at parties though. I'd been thinking for a while about letting things between us move that step further. Maybe not all the way, but giving him a blowjob seemed like a good compromise for now. One that I thought I might enjoy. It'd stall him on trying for a home run for a while longer as well. I smiled. Yeah, why not?

"What're you thinking, Ashlee? You've got that look." Jen was laughing at me. "Lee getting lucky tonight?"

Now I giggled. "Ewwwww, not at a party. Forget it." Although if we found a quiet corner, I was pretty sure now that I was going to give him that blowjob. I wondered what it was really like. Guess I'd find out.

"Come on, guys. What're we waiting for?" Erika floated out of the bathroom wearing her costume. She was going as a witch as well. We all were. She did look good.

"You," Jen and I chorused, laughing.

"I like it," Erika said, looking me up and down. "Hot, Ashlee, really hot."

"What about mine?" Jen complained.

Erika grinned. "You? You just want to get laid by Cody, that's why you're wearing that."

Jen giggled. "Yeah, so?"

"Come on, come on," I complained, "let's get to the party. I wanna dance."

"Okay, okay." We were off. Party time!

Outside the house, Jenny waved her keys. "You're leaving your cars here guys, I'm designated driver, okay. So you all can drink as much as you like. Except for you, Cody. You're on notice, we've got things to do after we drop everyone off." She giggled. Cody grinned. Well, we all knew Cody was scoring home runs with Jen. Like, Erika and I got the details next day. Jen was good at sharing.

"Okay! We're good. Let's go." Lee was smiling at me. Guess he liked my costume too.

I gave him a big smile back. This was gonna be a fun night. Dancing. Making out. And then there was that blowjob. Oh yeah! This was one Halloween Party I was totally looking forward to.

* * *

You could tell this was going to be a good party just standing outside. First up, you could hear the wails and groans from the street. The front lawn was a cemetery. The house was just downright spooky. The garage doors were open, a giant mouth with jagged teeth. A huge spider hanging from the roof, skeletons peering from the front porch, jack-o-lantern lights flickering. Scary. Halloween scary. Somebody had done an amazing job.

"Hey, this is so cool." Erika was looking at the house as we stood outside.

"Yeah, this is Bernie's." Lee was holding my hand, smiling, pulling a bottle of Jack Daniels out of one pocket, letting go of my hand to unscrew the cap, take a swig from it, offer it to me. I shook my head, looked at him. He laughed, put the bottle back in his pocket. "It's a party, Ashlee."

"Yeah, doesn't mean you need to get yourself hammered to early," I said. "You can do that after Jen drops us off home."

He just grinned. Oh well, I had my ride so it didn't really matter that much. Except I wouldn't be giving him that blowjob if he was too drunk. No way. I wasn't telling Lee that though. We walked inside to a wall of noise, more Halloween decorations and a couple of guys handing out masks.

"Everybody's gotta wear one," one of them yelled, handing each of us a domino mask that covered half your face. Cool. Lee and I grinned at each other, filtering our way further into the crowded house. With masks on, it was almost impossible to tell who was who. Not that I was worried. Lee was enough security for any girl. God help anyone that took him on. Most of the time he was so easy going and laid back he was just about horizontal, but if you pushed him...

"Dance," I yelled to Lee.

"Sure," he yelled back and then we were. Lee was good on the dance floor, one of the things I liked about him. There were lots of things I liked about Lee and he wasn't dating anyone else, even though our relationship over the last few months had been pretty casual. Erika and Jen were both asking me when we were going to do the official boyfriend girlfriend thing instead of just dating off and on. I'd shrugged. I wasn't pushing Lee and he wasn't pushing me. If we did that boyfriend girlfriend thing there'd be expectations. I wasn't so big on those.

I mean, I was going away to Colleg next year, I wasn't that serious about Lee. He was at College here and I'd be going away, probably to the same College Ryan went to. And as for guys, there'd be lots of guys to meet at College. I wasn't to intent on going out with one guy, not right now. Of course I'd dated one or two other guys, just casual dates, nothing serious. Kissed them, sure. But nothing else. Definitely not like with Lee. Maybe things with Lee would get more serious? We'd see. But there was no rush. Right now, I was just enjoying dating him and making out -- and right now, dancing. And later maybe, making out. Nothing more. Not yet.

"Love your outfit," Lee yelled over the music.

"Thought you might." There was enough room that I could do a little twirl, back into him so we danced with his hands on my hips, his breath hot against the back of my head. I eased myself back a little further, wriggling against him. Smiling as I felt how hard he was. Smiling as his mouth brushed my ear. Seeing a tall guy in a pirate costume eyeing me as he danced with some other girl. Blushing as I realized that almost sheer top was semi-transparent under the strobe lighting, making it clear I wasn't wearing a bra. My face burned under my mask as I twirled back around to face Lee.

Lee smiled, and his eyes weren't on my face. But Lee had seen my boobs before and I had no objection at all to him looking. I smiled back, dancing, my nipples hard now, swollen, pushing that sheer material outwards. Erika and Jen joined us, along with Bryce and Cody, the six of us dancing together, the guys drinking as they danced. I was so totally buzzed and having fun, even taking a couple of sips from Lee's bottle of Jack Daniels. In the end, it was me that asked for a break.

Perched on Lee's knee in a corner, his arm around my waist, my arm around his neck, taking delicate sips from his Jack Daniels, giggling at something he said that I'd forgotten two seconds later. Dancing again, enjoying the music, the movement, dancing with Lee. That bottle of Jack Daniels was close to empty now and I hadn't had more than a few sips. Another break, holding Lee's hand as we threaded our way of the dance floor.

"Let's find somewhere we can make out for a while." Lee yelling in my ear over the music. Parties, music, Jack Daniels, romance.

I giggled. Squeezed his hand. "Sure. Any idea where we can go."

Lee just grinned, led me down the hallway, up the stairs. It was almost as crowded up here as it was down on the main floor. I kind of hoped Bernie had the okay for this, the house was going to be pretty trashed after we were all done. Not that I knew who Bernie was. Small town, but not that small.

The first couple of bedrooms were occupied. The third we peered into wasn't but it also looked like the master bedroom. Lee and I looked at each other. Walked inside. Grinned. Lee flicked the lock on the door, took my hand, led me towards the bed. Seconds later we were sprawled across it, me on my back, Lee beside me, kissing me, his hand unbuttoning my top. When he lowered his head to capture one of my nipples with his mouth I moaned, one hand clutching at his head, arching my back as his tongue made little circles on my skin.

His other hand slipped down, under my skirt, inside my panties and I was already wet for him as his finger pushed into me, making me moan.

"Lee," I gasped.

He looked at me. "Yeah?"

"I want to give you a blowjob." My heart was in my mouth. I'd said it.

"Oh yeah." He rolled on to his back, smiling as I knelt over him, undoing his belt, unzipping his jeans, tugging them half way down his thighs. Boxers. A large bulge inside. My heart pounded. I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. I stroked him tentatively with one hand, feeling that rigid length through the thin cotton of his boxers. Feeling that hardness under my fingers, my face burned. This was it. My first blowjob. I reached for his boxers with both hands. Now I was going to pull them down, expose him, see what I'd felt but never actually seen before.

Lee snored.

Huh? I looked up as he snored again. He'd passed out on me? What the ...? I let go of him, sat back on my heels, frustrated and very definitely annoyed. Well, someone wasn't getting a blowjob from me tonight, that was for sure. In the end I shook my head, laughed and rearranged my clothes. I might as well go look for Erika and Jen. Nothing else was going to be happening with Lee tonight, that was for sure. Cody and Bryce were going to have to come and get him, there was no way I was getting Lee downstairs by myself. No way I was even trying.

After giving Lee a last look of disgust and annoyance, I slid off the bed onto my feet, reeling a little. Whooo-hooo, I'd definitely drunk more than I'd intended. I giggled. Headed for the door, made my way into the hallway and the music pounding up down downstairs. Made my way rather more carefully down the stairs. Ran into Mr. Pirate looking very Johnny Deppish as he lounged against a wall, drinking from a bottle of Southern Comfort. Straight? Ryan always drank Southern Comfort, I'd picked up a taste for it stealing from him. Big brother's were good for quite a few things besides scaring potential dates away, I'd found.

Mr. Pirate looked at me, raise the bottle. I held out my hand. He gave me the bottle. I smiled, wipe the neck and drank. He'd been drinking straight from the bottle, I figured if he was, it was safe enough. He wouldn't be slipping anything into his own drink. And I liked Southern Comfort, even straight from the bottle. Not too much, just a sip. Swirling it in my mouth, tasting it before swallowing, handing the bottle back. He gestured with his head at the dance floor. No use trying to talk over this music.

I shrugged, smiled, turned towards the dance floor, started dancing with him. And oh yeah, he was a good dancer. Very good, smooth, all the moves. I wasn't worrying too much about my semi-transparent top right now either. I mean, yeah, he'd get a good look and yeah, I was annoyed enough with Lee that I didn't mind. Lee wasn't the only guy that'd seen my boobs. Or kissed them for that matter. He was the only guy whose hand had got into my panties though and I had no intention of changing that situation in a hurry. Boobs though, boobs and kissing, that was fine.

So was close dancing I thought as I whirled around, ending up with my back to him, the back of my head against his shoulder, Mr. Pirate's hands on my hips. Something very big and very hard pressed very firmly against my butt. I had to giggle. Guys! They had one thing on their minds. Well, if he was busy rubbing himself against my butt, I was going to get outside some more of his Southern Comfort. My hand found his, found the bottle, took it from him, raised it to my mouth, took a sip, then another. Then a rather larger mouthful.

Oh yeah! I was annoyed with Lee and just because he'd passed out on me, well, that was no reason not to party. Mr. Pirate would do nicely for the next hour or two, or at least until we left. I let him press himself hard against my butt for another few seconds while I took another mouthful of Southern Comfort. Turned then, vining my arms around his neck, standing on my tiptoes, searching for his mouth, kissing him, sharing that mouthful of Southern Comfort with him, smiling as we both swallowed, as we licked at each other's tongues and mouths. Nice.

He thought so to.

Lee was forgotten, not exactly in an instant, but very very quickly as we kissed again, his hands finding my butt, holding me tight against him, pressing me to him as his tongue slid deep into my mouth, tasting me, taking possession of me with consummate skill. Mr. Pirate was better than good at kissing. He was in some kind of a class of his own and he tasted so good. I just wanted to kiss and kiss and kiss him. We did. On and on and on until he'd danced me slowly all the way to the wall, pressing me into a corner were nobody jostled us.

His mouth lifted from mine at long last. We looked at each other, each of us still wearing those masks that concealed our faces. It was the anonymity that made this even more exciting. Made it easier for me to kiss Mr. Pirate. I had no idea who he was and I was sure he had no idea who I was. A third of the girls at this party had black hair, another third were either blonde or close. It wasn't like I'd normally go to a party with one guy and make out with another, even if the gut I'd gone with had passed out. I wasn't that kind of girl.

Except tonight, with that mask and my Halloween costume guaranteeing my anonymity, I was. Very much. And kissing Mr. Pirate, or perhaps being kissed by him and welcoming it, I was very definitely enjoying being that kind of girl. It was fun and I liked Mr. Pirate. He felt just right as we kissed, strong and fit under that costume without feeling overdone, not too pushy, and better yet, he smelt wonderful and his mouth tasted delicious. I wondered if he'd taste that good if I gave him a blowjob instead of Lee.

Blushed at my own thoughts. Then thought, "why not?" It wasn't like Lee was my boyfriend. Not yet anyhow. We were just dating and I'd dated other guys. I knew he'd dated the odd other girl. We weren't an exclusive item. Although I was thinking that way. But not yet. I smiled up at Mr. Pirate.

Yelled over the pounding music. "Wanna go somewhere quieter?"

His smile, the way he took my hand, he did. "Any ideas?" he yelled back.

I smiled. Led him out of the room, up the stairs where it was a little quieter. Led him back into that bedroom where we'd left Lee. He was still there, on the bed, completely out of it and nobody else was in there. The door shut behind us, I heard the lock click as he flicked the lights out and then I was in Mr. Pirate's arms and feeling rather naughty as he kissed me. He was good at kissing. Very very good. His mouth tasted just as delicious the second time round and I couldn't help it, I sucked his tongue deep into my mouth, wanting to taste him, wanting to feel him taking possession of my mouth. I did and he did and it was wonderful.

He walked me back to the bed. I knew where he was taking me. I knew and I let him, my mind whirling, thoughts in overdrive as he continued to kiss me. As I continued to kiss him back, my tongue swirling and dancing with his, my mouth wide open to him, my lips crushed by his, my body pressed tightly against him, held there by his hands on my butt. Held there willingly, because I wasn't objecting at all.

I'd kissed other guys besides Lee, and it wasn't like Lee was officially my boyfriend or anything. We were dating, that was all. I'd dated other guys off and on and Lee had dated the odd other girl, I hadn't signed on to a relationship with Lee and neither of us had worried about it. So okay, I was busy justifying making out with Mr. Pirate to myself as he walked me backwards towards that bed that Lee was passed out on, his jeans still round his knees. Still snoring too. Loudly.

After a moment, he eased me onto my back on the king-sized bed, moving down with me, lying on top of me as we kissed, his weight on me. His erection pressing very firmly against me, sending little thrills racing through me where I felt him pressing against me. His nose brushed mine, his lips found mine, we resumed our kissing, my arms vined around his neck and it just felt so good with him, he tasted so good, he felt so good, he smelt so good.

His lips lifted from mine, he eased his weight from me to lie on his side beside me, propped up on one elbow. I missed his weight already, missed the excitement of his erection pressing against me. Turning a little towards him, I nuzzled him, inhaling his scent, shivering with the intoxication of that masculine smell. Indefinable but so addictive. I'd never smelt anyone who smelt so totally yummy. I pressed my face to his shoulder and just inhaled, my body rippling with pleasure as I tried to cling to him, to resume that delightful pressing of his body against mine.

His hand eased me back, eased me onto my back, his anonymous black-masked face looked down at mine, his hand slowly unfastened the top of my witches costume, his fingers working their way down the buttons one by one, from my neck to the waist. I watched. Watched and waited as he undid my top. My boobs were small, but on the other hand I knew guys liked them. Or at least, guys that liked me liked them. So I wasn't worried about what he'd think when he saw my boobs. On the third hand, I'd never let some guy I'd just met undo my top and do whatever he was intending to do to my boobs. I liked Lee doing things with my boobs. Okay, other guys too. But only after a few dates. Not some guy who'd picked me up at a party. Not that he'd even picked me up.

My top was undone. His hand parted my top, pushed it to either side, exposing both my boobs to his eyes in the dimness of that anonymous bedroom. I lay there, unmoving as he looked at my boobs. Flushing, feeling my nipples swelling, hardening, aching.

"So beautiful," my murmured, and with those words any thought I'd had of stopping him touching me evaporated into thin air. I smiled as his hand reached for my, settled on my waist, his touch added heat to the heat of my skin. His fingers ran gently up my side, moved to cup one breast, his touch magic. I half turned, pressing my boob into his hand, pushing my swollen and aching nipple against him, moaning out loud now as his hand pushed me back down, as his thumb stroked across my nipple, sending hot flashes racing through me to join the heat that was pooling at my center.

His hand glided over my skin, caressing me, his lips joining his hand, running over me, tasting me and I arched my head back as his lips drifted over my neck before working down to my boobs, kissing and licking one of my boobs while his hand cupped the other and that double touch had me moaning out loud, wanting to push my one boob into his mouth, the other against his hand, my body moving jerkily as I did my best to satisfy both wants.

His mouth found one nipple, sucked. Sucked and licked and now I pushed that boob up at him, one hand clasping his head to me, whimpering as he drew on me, feeling my nipple so big and hard where he drew on me, sucking my excitement from my center upwards to my boob. To his mouth.

His hand now, his hand was on my thigh, under my witches skirt and I welcomed his fingers there, where I was so hot, caressing the skin of my inner thighs, stroking me, touching me as my legs fell apart, as his fingers moved closer and closer to my panties. Those little black g-string panties I'd bought especially to excite Lee with. He didn't touch them though. Instead Mr. Pirate drew my skirt up, all the way up to my waist before his mouth lifted from my boob. Before he looked down at me as I lay there, flushed and excited and gasping for breath,

I lay on my back on the bed, heart pounding, that little skirt flipped up around my waist, exposing my fishnet thighhighs and those little g-string panties to his eyes. His hand rested hotly on the bare skin of my stomach, the tips of his fingers just brushing the top of my panties. I'd let this happen before, with Lee. I liked Lee touching me, liked his finger inside me, exciting me. But only ever with Lee. Never ever with some guy I'd gone on a first date with. Never ever with some guy I'd just met at a party. Some guy wearing a mask whose face I hadn't even seen. Whose name I didn't even know. A complete stranger. A complete stranger who I knew was about to slide his hand all the way into my panties and touch me.

My hand moved to seize his. But instead of removing his hand, my hand rested on his, stroked his hand, stroked the back of his hand, my excitement growing as my fingers brushed his skin, as I breathed in his scent. He smelled divine, I could inhale the smell of him for hours, I knew. His lips smiled down at me, his face obscured by the mask he wore just as my face was obscured by my mask. He said nothing. I said nothing. Heart palpitating, stomach so taut, my pussy doing its own hot wet little dance of scared anticipation, I waited for what I was sure was about to happen. Knowing I wasn't going to stop this. Knowing my knees were gradually easing themselves wider apart of their own volition.

It happened. My heart thumped. I sucked in a breath of air, a sudden little gasp.

His fingertips slipped under the material of my panties. His fingers slid down, my heart drummed wildly. His fingertips brushed what little pubic hair I had. My eyes looked up at him, at his mask-clad face as he touched me, as the tip of his finger found me, as his finger somehow slid into me with such slippery ease, my heart skipping a beat as I felt his penetration, exploring, touching the walls of my channel inside me, his fingertip pushing inwards.

"Ooohhhhh." Forcing a soft gasp from my lips as my head arched back a little before slowly relaxing. Oh god, this was even better than when Lee touched me and I had no idea why, but it was and I wanted what he was doing to me. There was something about this guy, the way he moved, the way he touched me, the way he smelt that just did something to me. I could never have imagined myself letting some guy I'd just met slip his hands inside my panties so easily, but I was. He was. His finger was inside me, opening me, moving in me, his thumb rubbing my clitoris in gentle little circles, sending sudden little sobbing spasms of pleasure washing through me.

I could hear myself making little noises as his finger moved inside me, not in and out, but in a slow circular motion, as if he was reaching around inside me, stroking and caressing my inner walls. Under those gentle caresses, that slow exploration of my body, I relaxed, my muscles loosening, tautness dissipating, my knees falling apart, my back arching a little.

"Ohhh....ohhh...ooohhhhhh." Oh god, his finger, inside me, sliding, stroking, circling, caressing me inside where I was so very wet and slippery. My hips, jerking spasmodically against his hand as he cupped me, caressed me so gently, so delicately. My clitoris, swollen, sensitive, rush after rush of pleasure washing through me, holding me transfixed with excitement, with desire. With my growing need for something more. More than just his hand and his finger inside me. I shouldn't. I knew I shouldn't. But I wanted more from him. So much more.

"Take your panties off for me." His voice whispered in my ear, his words filled my head.

"Ooohhhhhh." My heart seemed to explode in my chest but my hands moved of their own volition, without though, my mind in a turmoil as I felt my fingers on my hips, pushing my panties downwards, down to mid thigh, exposing myself. Never ever, not even with Lee. Now, for the first time, with Mr. Pirate. I pushed my panties down almost to my knees, drew one leg up, through, pushed them down with my foot to dangle from one ankle and all the time his finger was inside me, touching me, exploring me, caressing me while his hand cupped me and he played my swollen clitoris like a virtuoso playing a violin.

His finger left me and now I felt disappointment. Then, as I heard his zipper, as I felt him pushing his trousers down, sudden trepidation and then he was moving over me, his knees nudging mine apart as I looked up at him. His finger slid inside me again, his thumb teasing me and suddenly I was looking up at his face over mine, feeling helpless excitement. I knew what he wanted, what he intended and I wasn't sure, but then he kissed me and his tongue was in my mouth and I was tasting him again and I wanted him.

My hand reached down between us, found his cock, clasped him in my fingers. Holding a cock in my hand for the first time, revelling in the feel of that silky hardness, amazed at how big and hard it felt, guiding it to where his finger probed me without thinking. Feeling his finger leave me, feeling the head of his cock pushing gently against me, sliding inwards between my slippery labia, feeling myself part for him as he pushed, finding my entrance.

A momentary pause, his mask-clad face looking down into mine, his eyes, so intent through those little eye-slits. His mouth on mine, kissing me, his hand taking mine away from his cock, his hands taking mine, holding them, pinning them to the bed above my head.

"Move your knees back." His voice, husky, excited, wanting me.

"Uhhh." I obeyed, easing my knees back, opening myself to him.

He smiled, moved, pushed. I felt myself opening, stretching, the head of him gently pushing into me. So big. Ohh fuck it was so big and I wanted this, wanted this.

"Oowwwwwww." Jesus, I felt it. That hurt. He paused and I could feel where he was inside me, stretching me around him where he entered me, where he was already partly inside me.

"Nnnnnghhhh." Gasping, I felt him moving, pushing deeper inside me. My back arching little.

"Are you okay?" He paused in me, breathing hard.

"Don't stop." It hurt, but I didn't want him to stop either. Not now. I wanted all of what he wanted to give me. I wanted him to give it to me. All of him. "Inside me ... I want you inside me."

He smiled and then he was kissing me again and moving in me, gentle pressure as he moved in and out, working his cock into me and his weight was so good on me as that steely hardness penetrated up inside me, slowly sheathing itself in me.

"This is our first time isn't it?" Mr. Pirate breathed in my ear, pausing.

"Yes," I gasped.

He smiled, smiled and shifted, that enormous hardness pressing deeper and deeper into me, stretching my walls around his girth as me moved in me.

"Ohhhh," I cried, "Ooohhh .... Ohhhh" but I was helpless beneath him, his hands holding mine, his weight pinning me, his cock impaling me and I wanted that helplessness, I wanted what he was doing to me even as I squirmed and cried out beneath him, my body looking for a way to escape this, my mind already vanquished, surrendered.

"Nnnnnnggguughhhhhh." God, all of him was inside me and he felt so big. Huge. Thick. Hard. Impossibly big inside me. Filling me so far up inside.

"Okay?" He'd paused inside me.

"Ohhhhh." Sobbing, panting, feeling all of him in me, feeling him pressed up against me. Feeling his weight on me, his body on me, between my widespread thighs, his cock piercing me at the juncture of my thighs, feeling that burning inside me, knowing I was no longer a virgin. Looking up at him, gasping, feeling his begin to move in me.

Easy slow slides of his cock inside me, his body moving, feeling him moving in me, sliding, stretching, so long and hard. Knowing he was doing it to me. Fucking me. Feeling his cock bury itself in me again and again.

"Ohhhhh ... oohhh ..oohhh ... uughh .. ugghhh." His thrusts were jolting me now, his hands pinning mine to the bed above my head, his body moving on mine, riding me, his hips lifting and falling in a remorseless rhythm, his cock sliding up inside me again and again and again. I could feel him moving inside me, every inch of him, sliding, thrusting, taking, using. I wanted it. I wanted to be taken, to be used. I wanted to be fucked. I wanted what he was doing to me and I could feel my own excitement growing now.Tingling inside me. Heat. More wetness as he moved, a slow heat building and he was moving slowly now, in and out, short easy strokes that reverberated through me, echoing through me as my excitement rose and rose and rose until I was moaning, looking up at him, knowing he was looking down at me, knowing he was using me and loving every moment of it. Loving what he was doing to me.

"Is that good, baby?" His voice, asking me.

"Yes," I moaned, "Yes, that's so good ..."

He was moving faster now. Faster, deeper, harder and it was wonderful.

"You're so tight." And he was fucking me hard now, his movements became more urgent, more demanding, his hard thrusting driving his cock into me, driving me down into that firm mattress, the bed squeaking. Me moaning. Mr. Pirate grunting now as he fucked me and somehow I knew he was close to finishing and my excitement was rising, building, a huge wave of heat and excitement that needed to find release building and building inside me as his cock pumped into me.

His breath hot on my face as he panted, his body heavy on mine, slapping against me as he moved, pressing in deep with every thrust, and I was trembling, eyes wide, head arching back, back arching, feeling his body so demanding on me, his cock slamming hard into me and I was responding to his intensity, that wave inside me growing, building, cresting and I was crying out wordlessly.

"Ohhhhhh....ooohhhhhhh." My pussy. My pussy. His cock in me and that wave crested and broke, a golden tidal wave filling me, my back arching, my eyes sightless as I was filled with an intense wave of pleasure that was impossible to describe as I rode the wave of that climax as it filled me, held me for an endless moment of time.

"Nnnngggghhh." He pressed himself up inside me, holding himself there, pressed against me, his cock so deep within me, rigid, thickly swollen, stretching me everywhere inside, his girth pressing outwards against my inner walls where I clasped him.

".... oooohhhhh." I felt his cock throb inside me. Throb and pulse. I'd never imagined it would feel like this but it did and it was so wonderful. "Ohh!" Hot spurts inside me, deep inside me as his body jerked against me.

"Uuughh ... hhnngghh ... uuhhh." I felt those throbs and spurts again and again, so many of them as his body moved convulsively on me and I realized what was happening, knowing he was climaxing. He was finishing inside me and it seemed so right, so natural. It seemed the way this should end and I welcomed his culmination inside me even as my own body clutched at him in the aftermath of my own climax.

* * *

I didn't believe what had just happened. I lay there, more or less in a state of shock feeling his weight on me, his cock still inside me. Knowing he'd climaxed in me. Glowing from my own climax. I'd done it. I'd made love. Although probably "I'd been fucked" was a better description of what'd happened than making love was. I mean, making love implied you knew the guy and you were in love or something. I had no idea who this guy was who'd just .. well, who'd just fucked me. I didn't even know his name. But I did know that he was still inside me. Og god, he was so inside me.

One thing I could be certain of. I wasn't a virgin.

Not anymore. I lay there in someone else's house, on someone else's bed, staring at someone else's ceiling, one of my hands holding this stranger's head where it pressed into the mattress besides mine, feeling his weight on me, cradling him between my thighs. I felt strange lying there, mostly undressed, my knees drawn back, legs spread so wide apart, this stranger's weight on me, between my legs, his cock still inside me. I could feel him in me, still swollen, still firm. He'd finished inside me too, I'd felt him. We hadn't used any protection. It'd been so good. I glowed. Everywhere.

But still, I knew I shouldn't have done this. Lost my virginity. Not like this. But I had. And it felt so good. I was glowing. God, so that was what a climax was like? Wow. That'd been so unbelievably good. No wonder I was the only one of me and my friends that hadn't done it with a guy. Up until tonight anyhow. Now I had. And now that I knew, I wanted another one. Really really soon. It was still hard to believe I'd actually done it though.

Well, I had to believe I had. It was hard to argue with the physical evidence lying on top of me. Inside me. My first time's head lifted slowly, he moved on me. I felt him move a little in me. Oh my, that felt so nice. I didn't feel sore at all. Erika had side you did but I didn't. I was enjoying what I was feeling. That masked face looked down at me. Lips quirking, a half smile that made my heart beat faster.

"Wow," he breathed, one hand stoking my wet hair back from my sweaty forehead. "Just, wow."

"Yeah." I had to smile. Smile and gasp. "I was just having one of those wow moments too."

"Uhh, do you have a boyfriend?" he asked. "I just, you know, I'm kind of feeling I'd like this to go further than a quickie but I don't want to be pushy or anything, you know, too uncool."

We both looked sideways at Lee, passed out on the bed next to us, half hanging over the far side so I couldn't see his mask-clad face. I was kind of glad he was passed out. I'd have hated it if he hadn't been right them. We looked back at each other. Both of us smiled. I giggled and that felt really strange, giggling with him inside me. I ran my hands down this stranger's back, down to his waist, crossed my ankles behind his back. Smiling at how good that felt.

"Yeah, I mean no. That guy's my date, but he's not my boyfriend and he's passed out right now." God, I was so interested in this guy and I didn't have any idea who he was. Just, he seemed so right. He smelled so right. I nuzzled his neck. Oh yeah, he smelled perfect. I just wanted to inhale and inhale and inhale. My tongue flickered out, licked the sweat from his neck. He tasted so right too. He felt wonderful. Better than wonderful, he felt perfect. Sublime.

And the way he'd made love to me? Fucked me? Whatever you call it to me? God, this guy was to die for. I didn't care if he wasn't that good looking under that mask. He felt right. So right for me. Yeah, I definitely wanted to take this further. I felt bad for Lee, but if Lee hadn't passed out on me, I wouldn't have been here would I?

My masked stranger was looking down at me. I realized he must be still waiting for me to reply. What had he been asking? Oh yeah, go further.

Definitely. "Umm," I half-smiled. "You know, I have no idea who you are yet, but, uhh, I want you to know that was..." God, now I was blushing. "That was my first time and ... uhhh .... Yeah, I really want to uhh ... I don't want this to be a quickie ... I'd uhh like to take this further if you would?"

"That was your first time?" He sounded surprised. "God, you should have told me ... I wouldn't have been so ... you know ... so quick. I didn't hurt you did I?" He was so concerned. His fingers stroked my cheek so tenderly. His cock stirred inside me.

I smiled up at him. So he liked it that it was my first time? Yeah," I breathed, "it was. And I loved it."

"So did I," he breathed back, "and I want to do it to you again."

I could feel him. Getting harder inside me. He did want to do it again. I thought about that. No condom. God, I'd have to go to the drug store tomorrow, get that morning after pill or something. So why not do it again now? No reason not to after all. I'd done it now. I wanted him to do it to me again. Once. Twice. Whatever.

"Okay," I gasped, a nanosecond or so later. Oh Jesus, his cock felt so good inside me. This was a no brainer if there ever was one.

"I want to see your face this time," he breathed.

"Me too, I want to see yours," I murmured, still glowing, still panting, still feeling him inside me. He really did smell so good. I wanted to lick the sweat from his face, taste it. So I did. Slowly, tasting him, enjoying the little jerk of his body when my tongue slid over his skin. Enjoying his cock pulsing inside me.

"Lets take our masks of together," he said, both of us moving our hands to prepare to remove them.

"Now," I said, both our hands jerking our concealment away.

"Ryan!" My heart seemed to swell, choking me. My entire body jolted as I saw his face looking down at me.

"Ashlee!" He sounded as stunned as I felt.

My heart was stuttering. "Oh my God. Ryan!" Ryan? He was still inside me. He'd fucked me. It still felt so good. He smelt so good. Tasted so good. Good, somehow it felt even better knowing it was Ryan. I should have pushed him off me. I knew I should. But I didn't want to. My arms slipped round him, my hands held his back as I arched up against him, my eyes wide with astonishment. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted him to fuck me again.

"Oh fuck, Ashlee." I felt him inside me. His cock. Swelling inside me. Hardening. So quickly.

"Ohhhhhhhhh." So big inside me again. So hard in me. So good. I drew my knees back, opening myself to him again. Crossing my ankles behind the small of his back, moving beneath him. Moving myself on him.

"Ashlee." He moved in me. Moved so gloriously. Pushing in. Deeper inside me. Hard. So hard again.

"Ryan." My hands clutched at his back for a moment, slid down to hold his butt as he eased himself deep inside me. So taut and muscular. I pulled on him, drawing my knees back as far as I could now, all the way back, willingly opening myself to him again, feeling his cock sliding so much deeper within me. Welcoming him inside me. Feeling his weight on me, his body hard against mine. Perfect against mine. Perfect inside me. Stretching me. Fitting me. My voice, begging. "Don't stop, Ryan, don't stop ... don't stop."

"Ashlee, oh Jesus, Ashlee." He sounded as stunned as I felt but he didn't stop. He was moving inside me, slowly sliding in and out, his cock moving, thrusting, easing back, thrusting deep again, slippery movements that stretched me inside, filling me where I felt myself clasping him inside myself.

"Ryan ... Ryan ... ohhh Ryan .... oh fuck ..... oh fuck." It felt so good. I wanted what he was doing so much. Knew I wanted him so much. Wanted Ryan. Wanted my brother. My big muscular handsome blonde blue-eyed brother.

"Oh Jesus, Ashlee ... Ashlee ... I can't stop ... I can't stop..."

"Don't .... Don't stop .... Ryan ... do it to me Ryan ...." And then, without thinking, "Ryan ... I love you, Ryan, I love you ... fuck me .... fuck me, Ryan ... I want you so much." And I did, I knew I did.

His eyes held me, mesmerized me, drew me in just as my body drew him into me, took him, absorbed him inside me, clasped him along his length as he pressed deep into me.

"Ashlee," he groaned, "Oh god Ashlee, that's so good." He was moving in me. Moving in and out of me, long slow slides inside me, steely heat sliding up inside me, long, thick, stretching me around him, taking me.

"Yes," I moaned, "Yes." My back arching, wanting more, squeezing him inside up as he pressed himself in me to the hilt, burying the full length of his cock inside me again and again and again in a thickly throbbing invasion that I welcomed. That I surrendered myself completely too.

His thrusts picked up speed, working up to a fast-paced rhythm that pounded me down into the mattress, our bodies slapping together again and again, his hands finding mine, taking them in his, pinning them to the bed above my head as he fucked me.

"Harder," I moaned, helpless beneath him. "Ryan ... Ryan ... fuck me harder ... fuck me harder..."

"Ashlee," he grunted, "Ashlee ... Ashlee." His cock driving deep into me, pounding into me, driving my hips downwards with every thrust, my entire body juddering beneath him with the impact of those powerful strokes, driving so deep into me with every thrust that it almost hurt. Almost.

I was wild now, feeling that sweetly delicious heat rising within me, slowly filling me, growing, growing and I wanted, I wanted him, I want him so much and I could see in his eyes, in the way that he looked at me that he wanted me too. I wanted me as much as I wanted him and in that moment I was suddenly sure that I loved him, I loved Ryan. I loved my big brother and I wanted him taking me, doing this to me. Fucking me.

"Do me," I begged, "fuck me Ryan ... fuck me ... fuck me." Feeling the head of his cock, so swollen, so large, so deep inside me, moving in me, stretching me around him so deep within me.

Ryan fucked me. My big brother pinned me to the bed and rode me in a delirious excitement that found it's echo in my body, both of us in a frenzy that was unstoppable, irresistible, exquisite. I wanted it and I was begging him for it and he was giving it to me, giving me everything I wanted and more. Ryan knew what he was doing, I was sure, otherwise how could this feel so very very good.

"Ohhhh .... Ohhhhh .... Ooohhhhh." I could hear myself crying out now with every thrust, sinking deeper and deeper into the pleasure he was bringing me. Not just physical, but in my mind as well. Knowing I'd never done this before tonight and now I had, now I was no longer a virgin and it was my big brother that was taking me, fucking me. My Ryan, the big brother I'd worshipped when I was younger, the big brother I d loved so much, who was everything I wanted in a guy, who was complete and utter perfection. Ryan was fucking me hard, going crazy fucking me.

That drove me out of my mind. His big blue eyes, his face staring down at me, his body moving against mine, my breasts crushed by his chest, my thighs cradling him, his hands pinning mine to the bed as he took me so long and so hard, on and on and on. My body absorbed every hard stroke, accepted his powerful thrusts, juddered and quivered as he pounded himself into me and all I could do was lie there and take it, accept it, enjoy it. Revel in it. I'd never felt like this in my life. I was in heaven and I knew it.

"Ashlee," he groaned, "Ashlee, come for my baby sis, come for me."

I did. Just like that. Looking up at him, eyes wide, mouth opening wide, back arching. As soon as those words left his mouth, my climax washed through me, my clitoris throbbing, my pussy spasming on him, squeezing him, clasping him tight as that golden wave of pleasure washed through me, inexorable, inescapable, overwhelming. I sobbed, I moaned, I cried out, my body stiffening, shaking, my hands clutching at Ryan's, awash in a sea of pleasure, swept away, helpless. Blue eyes. Blue eyes looking down into mine so tenderly as I climaxed.

His cock was still buried deep inside me as my orgasm began to subside and then he pulled back, drove himself hard into me and began to cum. I felt that first hot burst of his cum jet outwards deep inside me, felt his body tense, his hands squeeze mine, his body jerk on me, push into me hard.

"Uggghhhhh," I groaned, juddering as he pushed into me again, fast, hard, his cum spurting thickly into me as I clasped him inside, squeezing him, milking him, wide open to him as he surged into me, as his cum flooded me inside.

"Uuughhhhhh." So good. It felt so good when he came inside me and I wanted it. I wanted it and I welcomed it, welcomed his culmination, welcomed the knowledge that I was satisfying him, giving him what he wanted.

Ryan lay slumped on me, breathing hard, holding me, his cock so big and swollen inside me where I could feel every inch of him. Where he'd emptied himself inside me. Now I knew what my friends meant when they said making love with their boyfriends was so great. I knew how great it felt now. I'd done it too. I'd well and truly lost my virginity. I'd let a guy get lucky with me and I'd loved every moment of it. We'd done it twice and I wanted to do it again and again and again. With him.

Only the guy I'd done it with wasn't my boyfriend. He was my big brother.

I should feel bad about this, I was sure. Even if I was adopted, he was my brother. I should feel guilt. Shame. Remorse. I should be upset with him. With myself. Upset? I should be horrified.

But I wasn't, I didn't. I felt none of those things.

Instead, I felt elation. I glowed. I cradled him between my thighs and it felt wonderful as he lay there on me. I felt his cock inside me, his weight on me, his thighs pressing against mine, holding me wide open to him. I knew he'd climaxed inside me, filling me with his cum, I could feel it inside me, liquid wetness and heat along with his slowly softening cock.

I held him, one arm curled around his neck, my other hand stroking his head, that beautiful blonde hair that so contrasted with my own silky blackness. My feet rested on the backs of his thighs, hooked around him as I lay spread beneath him, pinned beneath him, my own panting matching his, his sweat mingling with mine. My nose breathed in his scent, the scent of our mingled sweat, of our love-making and he smelt so right. So delicious that I wanted to lick him everywhere, lick the sweat from his body, lick my way down his body to his cock and balls and lick him clean, lick and suck him to renewed hardness and then have him ride me again.

Oh god, this was so wrong and yet it felt so right, so perfect. I'd met my perfect guy, my match made in heaven.

He was my brother.

I didn't care.

I wanted him to do it to me again. And again.

* * *

"Ashlee, are you in there? We have to go." Erika's voice. The door rattling. My heart leaping like a startled rabbit's. I didn't feel guilty though, I didn't feel like I'd been caught. I felt disappointed that we'd been interrupted, that we couldn't do it again, then and there.

"I'm coming," I turned my head, called out, "give me a minute."

I looked up at Ryan, whispering now, my hands still holding him on me. "I better go with them, I'll see you at home." I held him. I kissed him. Kissed him as if I wanted to eat him alive. "Come to my room after Mom and Dad are asleep, okay? We need to talk." Although talking wasn't really what I had in mind.

He kissed me back, long, hard, passionate. "Okay." I liked that.

Lifted himself from me. I gasped as he slid out of me, suddenly feeling so empty. Feeling a rush of wetness on my inner thighs as he moved of me, handed me some tissues. Blushing in the darkness, I wiped myself, scrambled to find my panties, my bra. My costume. He dressed as I did, we both slid our masks back on. One last kiss and he unlocked the door, opened it, half hid behind it.

Erika glanced at him, looked at me, looked at Lee passed out on the floor beside the bed. Laughed as she grabbed my hand. "Come on Ashlee, we're going to be late if we don't hurry."

"Sure." I looked at Lee. "Can Cody and Bryce come and carry him to the car?"

Erika giggled, glanced at Ryan again. "Sure, but we better go." She gestured with her head. "He better fade too, before Cody and Bryce get here."

I gave Ryan a quick smile. "Bye."

He nodded, said nothing. Erika and Jenny would grill me tomorrow, I knew. Tonight, with their dates in the car, they'd say nothing. Tomorrow I'd have a story for them.

* * *

"How was the Halloween party, dear? Fun?" Mom looked up as I walked past the family room.

"Yeah, lots of fun. I'm beat. What about yours?"

Mom smiled. "Same old, same old," she said. "We enjoyed ourselves."

Dad was in the kitchen, I could hear him. "Want a coffee, Ashlee?" His voice floated out.

"No thanks Dad, I'm exhausted, I'm going to bed." My panties were soaked through, flooded with Ryan's cum as it continued to seep out of me. How much was there? I was shivering. Excitement? Shock? Anticipation? I wanted to squeeze my thighs together and touch myself. I wanted to feel Ryan's cum where it was seeping from me. I wanted to talk to Ryan. I wanted Ryan to do that to me again.

"Goodnight then, honey. Sleep well."

Night Dad, 'night Mom."

In my bedroom, I stripped my clothes off, showered quickly, examining myself. Nothing seemed different but I knew I'd changed as I climbed into bed. Naked. Despite myself, despite wanting to stay awake for Ryan, I slept almost instantly.

* * *

My door whispered open in the darkness, waking me. My heart stuttered. It was him. It was, I knew. My door shut, I heard the lock click, I could see him, or at least his shape, standing in the dark. I pulled my duvet aside, slid sideways to the far side of my bed. "Come to bed, I'm getting cold." A shaky whisper. Nervous. Shivering.

He slid onto my bed next to me, his hand finding me in the darkness, running down my body from my shoulder to my hips as I pulled the duvet over both of us. "You're not wearing anything, Ashlee." His whisper was soft in my ear.

I giggled, my hand confirming that yes, he was wearing shorts. Underneath those shorts he was hard. "You are."

"I'd look silly if Mom and Dad caught me running round with nothing on."

I giggled. "Lucky their bedroom's the other end of the house then isn't it. Not to mention I don't think they'd understand this." My hand had found the opening in his shorts, slid inside, clasped him. It felt so good.

"Yeah, not to mention that." He took a breath, I felt him tense. "Ashlee."

Okay, I just knew, he was going to let go with all that guy emo stuff on me. "Yeah."

He was so hard. I knew he wanted me. I mean, guys. Hard cocks. It wasn't like I hadn't met one before. Lee was constantly hard. I knew what Ryan wanted to do to me, otherwise he wouldn't be in my bedroom, right? In my bed. He wouldn't be so hard, right?

"Ummm, I'm not sure about this, Ashlee, I mean, you're my sister."

"I'm your adopted sister, Ryan, there's a difference. I'm Chinese, right? Look at me. It's not like Mom and Dad are my real Mom and Dad."

"Uhhh, still..."

"Ryan, you've got blonde hair, blue eyes and you look totally different to me. I'm Chinese, I've..."

"...got the cutest little eyes and nose and black hair and ..."

"....little boobs and I weigh about half what you do." I was giggling again. "Ryan, relax, I mean, yeah, I'm your adopted sister and we've grown up together but it's not like we're actually genetically related or anything." I was justifying it to myself as well as to him, I knew. I had to, because I knew there was no going back. Not for me. Not now.

"And you're in my bedroom. You're in my bed." I giggled. "With this." I stroked him slowly, shivering with my own pleasure as his breath hissed out. "And, uhh, you know, we did this at the Halloween Party. Twice. And the second time you knew it was me."

"Yeah."

"And you want to do it to me again as soon as you knew it was me, didn't you?"

"Yeah." So subdued, not my big brother's usual brash self-confidence.

"Ryan." I moved closer to him, as close as I could. "How long have you wanted to do that to me? It wasn't just tonight, was it?"

"No."

"How long?" My hand was busy working on his cock. So rigidly hard and I wanted him in me again. "Tell me Ryan."

"Forever," he sighed. "Always, Ashlee. I've always loved you. Those other girls, that was just coz I knew you'd never be mine, coz you're my little sister. But tonight..." He sounded like he was going to cry. "That mask, I didn't know it was you but there was just something about you, I wanted you. And then it was you and I was in you and I couldn't stop when I found out it was you. I don't know what to do, Ashlee. I mean, we shouldn't but I want you so much."

"Ryan." I nestled my head against his shoulder, one leg over his waist. Let go of his cock for a moment to find his hand, place his hand on my pussy. Gasping as one finger eased inside me. So wet. I was so wet already and he hadn't even touched me. "Oh Ryan, I love you, I've always loved you." I dragged his head down, kissed him until he was kissing me back. Fell back at last. "And I know you want me, right, or you wouldn't be here." My hand squeezed him lightly.

"Um, I guess."

I had to giggle then. "Ryan, I was thinking about us all the way home. I mean, I'm your adopted sister, I know we shouldn't but I thought about it and I thought about it and with you, it just feels so right. I want you, Ryan."

"You do?" His voice, so hopeful.

My hand stroked him slowly. So hard. My heart beat faster. A lot faster. I'd already made my decision. I'd made it the moment after I saw his face earlier, at the party. The moment I'd realized it was Ryan that's been that first guy. That perfect guy. "I do, Ryan. Just go ahead and fuck me again, okay. We can talk afterwards. Right now I can't think of anything except having this in me and I want you so much."

I did, I wanted him so bad. Wanted him in me, on me, doing what he'd done to me earlier. I wanted to feel him finishing inside me as I held him, as I lay beneath him, wide open for his cock to take, to use, to find satisfaction in. Then we could talk. "Fuck me, Ryan, please. I want to feel you in me."

"Oh fuck, Ashlee." He was stripping his shorts off. I found him again, heart pounding, stroked him as he moved over me, as I eagerly spread my legs for him, drew him towards my opening, guiding him to where I wanted him.

"Yes," I moaned, "Yes, Ryan. Go ahead and do it to me, fuck me, Ryan."

"Ashlee." He was pushing against me, thrusting himself at me as I held him, as I held him against my entrance. "Sis."

"Uh." The head of his cock pushed into me. "Don't move." I held him there, feeling him just inside me, entering me, his cock so thick where we joined, stretching me around him. I ran my fingers over our joining, feeling where he was in me, stretching me around him. Shivering at the feel of him there, so thick and solid where he joined me.

"Oh Ryan." I drew my knees back slowly, back as far as I could, until my feet brushed his hips, my knees brushed his ribs and I was open to him. So open. My hands moved to his waist, resting on him as I looked up at him. "I'm yours, Ryan, I'm all yours, I want you to know that, Ryan."

He kissed me then, his mouth locking to mine, possessing mine hungrily, his tongue deep inside, meeting mine, our tongues dancing together as I opened my mouth wide to him, drinking him in, giving myself completely to him.

"I want you, Ashlee. I want you so much."

"Take me then, take me Ryan, I'm all yours. Anything ... take anything you want ... do what you want to me."

I'd never known what it was to surrender completely to love before. I'd never known what love was and now I did. I did and I wanted Ryan to take me, to make love to me, to possess me body and soul.

"Ashlee." He breathed my name as his cock eased slowly inwards. All the way in.

Filling me. Bliss.

He paused, buried inside me, pressing up against me, his body so muscular and hard on me, heavy, pressing down on me, pressing against the backs of my thighs where I cradled him, spreading me wide for him and I could feel him. His body on me, dominating me, taking me. His cock inside me, that steely-hard shaft penetrating so deep inside me, sheathed within me. Possessing me.

"I can feel you, Ryan," I gasped, looking up at his face. Drinking in the expression there, the desire for me, the want, the need. The same emotions I felt as I looked up at him. Feeling him so hard inside me. His body on mine, cradled between my thighs, his cock in me. "I can feel you all the way up inside me." I could and the sensation held me transfixed, breathless, alive with excitement.

"You feel so good, Ashlee... oh fuck ... sis .... I want you so much, sis..."

"You've got me, Ryan .... Use me ... do it to me ... fuck me, Ryan ... fuck me..."

"Ashlee." He whispered my name, his cock moved in me, easing out, sliding gently inwards.

"Ooooohhhhhhh." I heard myself groan, low, soft, reflecting the pleasure and the excitement that first movement brought me. It didn't stop. Those slow steady movements, that gentle easing of his cock in and out of me continued, on and on until I was moving as well, my hands clutching at his side, at his shoulders, his arms. My feet beating a little tattoo against his hips as his butt rose and fell, driving his cock into me with increasing passion. Harder now, more forceful. Taking what he wanted. Taking me.

"Ohhhhhhhh," I moaned, rolling my head from side to side, gasping for breath, dizzy with what Ryan was doing to me, wanting his cock pumping into me to last forever and knowing it couldn't and wanting it and arching my back beneath him as his cock surged up inside me, as his body slapped hard against mine, as he hilted himself inside me. My breasts quivering with the power of those thrusts, my body juddering as he jolted me.

"Ashlee ... Ashlee..." His groan reverberated through me, his cock throbbed inside me, pulsed, spurted his cum deep inside me in hot blasts that I felt and then it came, sweeping through me in a tidal wave that lifted me and held me and swept me away in a flood of my own pleasure.

"Ohhhhhhhh Ryaaaaaan .... Ryaaaaan." Moaning as my back arched, as my feet kicked at nothing, as his cock impaled me, as his cum spurted into me, flooded me, on and on and on until I thought I'd die from the sheer pleasure I was feeling. Ryan's face buried in my hair, his panting loud in my ear as I lay there shuddering, looking blindly up at the ceiling. My arms around him, clinging to him as one of his hands stroked my hair, my head, as his lips kissed their way across my face.

* * *

"Ashlee, we shouldn't be doing this." He was lying on his back in my bed, watching my hand on his cock, stroking him slowly, watching and feeling him swell and harden under my fingers. How could he get hard again? So soon? But he was and I wanted it. Again. God, I was going to be sore in the morning. But I didn't care.

"Ryan, we've done it. We're doing it. You're not my real brother. I'm adopted." I was propped up on one elbow, looking down at him as he lay there, naked. "I mean, really, look at me Ryan, I'm Chinese. You're not. It's not like we're, uh, genetic brother and sister or anything like that. What we're doing, it's okay." I smiled. "Very okay."

"Yeah, keep telling me that, Ashlee." He was smiling, his cock rigid now. "I'm not sure if that makes me feel better about this or not."

"It will." I smiled, running my fingers up and down his length. Lowering my head for a moment to kiss the tip, tasting him, tasting me on him, tasting his cum, sliding my tongue over him. Interesting. Feeling him quiver. "I mean, if Mom and Dad hadn't adopted me, what we're doing now, it'd be fine. There'd be nothing wrong with it."

"Yeah, but they did adopt you, Ashlee."

"Yeah, and so what. It just means I'm here for you to fuck every time you come home." I kissed his cock again, slid my mouth down over him, my tongue swirling as I slid my lips down his shaft. Oh yeah, I liked this. I lifted my mouth from him, licked my lips, tasting him. Tasting us. "And believe me big bro, you're not going to fuck any of those other girls now, this is all mine from now on."

"It's all yours, Ashlee. I'm all yours."

"Good, because you're hard enough to fuck me again now."

He was and he did and it was wonderful and the look on his face as he came in me filled me with happiness. Filled me with joy and love. Just as his cock filled me with his cum.

* * *

My alarm was beeping quietly. Four thirty in the morning. Ryan was asleep beside me. We'd been asleep for all of two hours.

"Ryan." I stroked his shoulder, propped myself up on one elbow, looking at him lying there, in my bed. Naked. In my bed. With me.

His eyes opened sleepily. He looked at me. Smiled. That smile sent little electric shocks shivering through me, all the way to my toes. What was I doing? What were we doing? What had we done? But I knew. I loved him and this was crazy and if anyone found out there'd be hell to pay but I didn't care. I didn't care at all.

"Ashlee." His voice sent another wave of shivers through me.

"You need to go back to your room soon."

He smiled up at me. "Soon," he whispered. His head turned, his mouth found my breast, sucked me into his mouth, his tongue sliding across my nipple, circling, teasing, coating my skin with his saliva.

I clutched his head with one hand, pushing myself against his mouth, pushing my breast into his mouth as he suckled on me, my other hand resting on his chest. "Soon," I gasped my agreement.

Gasping again as he moved over me, my legs nudged apart, his cock so eager to possess me. Not waiting this time. Finding me easily. Pushing into me. Surging up inside me hard so that I clutched at him, groaning as he paused, held himself still.

"I think I love you, Ryan." I looked up at him, my hands resting on his ribs, feeling him breathing, feeling his body on mine, so intimately on mine. Inside me.

"I know I love you, Ashlee." He stroked my hair back from my face, kissed me. "God, what're we going to do?"

I smiled. "I'm adopted, I'm not your real sister, Ryan. We'll work something out. Anyhow, you're at College, I'm eighteen, it's not like we want to get married or anything."

"Not yet," he said, making my heart leap. "But what if we do?"

"Ryan." I had to giggle. God, that felt weird giggling with his cock inside me. "You just fucked me for the first time tonight, you want to marry me already? That's fast."

He laughed silently, his body shaking.. "Yeah," he whispered. "I think I do." His nose brushed mine. He kissed me again, gently before sliding off me to lie beside me. "I really do."

"Me too," I whispered, kissing him back. "But we're keeping this secret Ryan, we're not telling anyone, okay. You're back for Thanksgiving. We can talk then, okay. We can do this again then, there's no rush, we've got all the time in the world.."

"Okay," he whispered, kissing me again. "But you're not dating anyone else, okay. You're not dating Lee or anyone else. You're mine, Ashlee."

I squirmed wetly beneath him, moving myself him. "I'm yours Ryan, I won't date anyone at all, okay." He felt so good in my bed, it felt so good to be naked and pressed up tight against him. "You're not either, okay." I squeezed him lightly inside me. "This is mine now, okay. The only place it's going is inside me. Remember that."

He smiled. "The only place this is going is inside you." He moved in me again. He was as hard as a steel bar. It felt so good. So fucking good. "And this is all mine. Only mine."

"Ohhhhh," I gasped. "It's only for you, Ryan, it's all yours."

"Good."

"How can you do that?" I whispered, holding. "Get so hard so quickly."

"It's you, Ashlee," he breathed in my ear as the head of his cock nudged high inside me so that I felt myself stretching around him all over again. "All I have to do is look at you and I get hard."

"Since when?" I gasped. All the way into me. I drew my knees back, opening myself to him. Feeling him fill me. Hearing those wet wet noises as he fucked me. "Ryan.... ohhhhhhh fuck, Ryan."

"Since forever," he whispered, moving slowly in me. Gently. Easing himself in and out, every movement sending waves of sensation, waves of pleasure, rippling through me. "I used to jerk off thinking about you, I'd finish and then I'd think about you and I'd get hard again right away."

"Oh my god," I gasped, "Oh my god .... You did?"

"Yeah, did, do, every fucking night, Ashlee."

"You do?" He felt so good, taking me, easing himself in and out of me. It felt so right with Ryan. Perfect. As if we were meant for each other. Without a thought, I drew my knees back, crossed my ankles behind the small of his back, squeezed him inside me. Moaned softly as I felt him move even as I clasped him inside.

"Yeah, when I jerk off, I always think of you, always." He kissed me, gently, tenderly, his movements in me so easy, so gentle, so wonderfully exciting. "I love looking at your butt, Ashlee, and your boobs, they're so perfect."

"They're small," I gasped.

"Small and beautiful." He smiled. "I want to watch them while I fuck you, is that okay?"

"Whatever you want, Ryan." I smiled back, gasped as he lifted himself up on his arms, looking down at me while his cock slid in and out of me. My boobs quivered with every thrust, my pussy making those wet noises as he moved in me, eased all the way up inside me until my head jerked back and I moaned, feeling him all the way in. Moaning as he eased himself back.

"You like that, Ashlee?"

I smiled, stroking his arms with my fingers. "I love that, Ryan. I never believed this could be so good and its better than good." I reached down, held my knees, pulled my knees back and down, wanting to make more room inside me for him. Succeeding. Groaning as I felt him brush something high inside me. "Aaaahhhhhhh."

He paused, anxious. "Are you okay, Ashlee."

"I'm fine ... I'm fine ... don't stop.... Please don't stop." I held myself open for him, moaning as he moved in me again and again. Looking down, watching his cock slide slowly into me. Long, thick, hard, glistening with my wetness, white against the light olive of my skin. Stretching my lips around him, drawing my pink inner lips outwards on his shaft as he eased back until only the head of his cock was inside me. Easing back in until he was pressed up against me and I felt so full, so stretched around him.

"I like you seeing me," I gasped, looking down again for a moment before my head sank back onto my pillow.

"I love watching you, Ashlee." His voice as soft and gentle as his movements in me. "I love watching your face, I can't believe we're doing this."

I smiled, reached up, drew him down onto me, my mouth searching for his until his lips met mine and we kissed as he moved in me. Kissed and kissed as he rode me.

"Believe it, Ryan," I whispered as his passion grew, as his movements picked up speed. "I love you, Ryan, I love you and I'm yours, I'm all yours, I'm yours for you to fuck, Ryan, now and forever."

"Ohh Jesus, Ashlee, I love you, I love you." And he did, harder and harder, losing control now, pumping his cock into me and I welcomed him, welcomed him as my climax barrelled through me like a golden storm, a whirling kaleidoscope of sensations that swept my away as his cock drove into me, as he fucked me wildly.

"I'm cumming .... I'm cumming." Ryan's groans in my ear sounded as my own climax began to fade, his strokes pounding me hard into my mattress and then he was emptying himself into me, his cum spurting in a hot flood deep inside me, jet after jet that I felt erupting within me, bringing me to a second climax as his rock hard cock impaled me.

I clutched at him, my body bucking beneath him, head arching back, welcoming his culmination as that golden waved washed through me, leaving me limp. Leaving both of us limp.

Oh God.

I was in love alright.

With my big brother. And he loved me.

I realized then that perhaps I always had loved him. Like this. Just as he had loved me. But we'd concealed that love from each other, fenced in by expectations and rules. But now? Now we'd broken the rules, broken through those fences in our minds that had held us imprisoned. Now we were free and I knew in that moment that we were meant to be together. One of my hands stroked Ryan's head as I held him on me, as I cradled him between my thighs, his weight so heavy on me, so welcome.

"Ryan," I whispered.

"Ashlee?"

"Nothing will ever keep us apart again."

He lifted his head, kissed me, dripped sweat on me. "Ashlee, nothing will part us, nothing at all."

"Until death do us part." I smiled.

He kissed me again, his look so serious. So intent. "Until death do us part," he whispered.

* * *

Later that day, the day after Halloween, a Halloween I knew would always remember, a Halloween that I knew had changed my life, he was gone. A hug for me, a whispered "See you for Thanksgiving."

Remember," I whispered. "Everything we said."

"I will." His eyes promised me that he would. In the hallway, Mom and Dad still in the kitchen, he gave me a quick kiss, a longer hug. A whispered "I love you Ashlee."

"I love you Ryan."

Then he was gone. Driving back to College. And my world had changed.

Forever.

* * *

"We're off shopping honey," Mom called out. "Be back in a couple of hours, can you start getting everything ready. Get the turkey for tomorrow out to defrost, okay, we'll start cooking it tomorrow morning."

"Okay Mom, see you both when you get home."