Cruel Reality

I stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around my tiny frame. I'd lost track of time the moment my mind was flooded by unnecessary thoughts, so I wasn't sure how much of it I had wasted in that bathroom.

If I add those I had spent dressing up and bandaging my wounds, too, then I'd probably wasted a lot.

Pero isa lang ang sigurado ako, hindi ko nagawa ang lahat ng iyon nang isang minuto lang kagaya ng sinabi ko kay Mrs. Valencia. So seeing her with a scowl on her face when I finally got downstairs wasn't really surprising..

"Napakatagal mo, Danielle. Hindi ba't sinabi ko nang bilisan mo? Kanina pa narito ang mga bisita, ikaw na lang ang hinihintay!" she said in a controlled tone, probably trying to suppress her anger.

I shrugged, and with all honesty, I replied, "I lost track of time." But my honesty had just made her angrier.

She glared at me, teeth gritted and hands balled to fists. Gusto kong matawa habang tinitingnan siya. Sa tingin niya siguro ay matatakot ako sa kanya dahil lang galit siya. But even though she may look intimidating, she would never get a reaction from me.

I had seen the worst.

For seventeen years, I'd lived in the same roof with the devil in flesh, the very epitome of evil, which was my own father. Bawat galit niya, bawat pagkakataon na nawawala siya sa sarili niya, nakita kong lahat iyon. So getting cold glares and half-assed threats from other people could never compare to those times I had spent with my father. No one could ever bring out my darkest fears other than him.

I guess, at some point, he really did something right.

He made me fearless.

Nang malapit na kami sa receiving area kung saan sa tingin ko ay naghihintay ang mga taong gustong umampon sa akin, biglaang nagbago ang ekspresyon ng mukha ni Mrs. Valencia. Her awful scowl turned into a charming expression that no one would suspect she was only faking it.

"Sa oras na makarating tayo ng sala, alalahanin mong ngumiti," she said, now in a calm voice. "Ayaw kong isipin nila na mali ang pagpapalaki namin sa mga bata rito. Ilang buwan ka pa lang rito, Danielle, kaya h'wag mong sirain ang imahe ng ampunan na ito. Tandaan mong kami lang ang nagmagandang-loob na kunin ang dalagang kagaya mo, kaya h'wag kang gagawa ng kahit na anong ikasasama ng tingin nila sayo. Naiintindihan mo naman, hindi ba?"

I looked up and met her serious eyes. Gusto ko sanang hindi na lang sumagot, pero alam kong kapag ginawa ko 'yon ay lalo lamang siyang hindi titigil sa kakasalita. Kaya naman nang alisin ko ang paningin sa kanya, isang tango ang aking ginawa at sinabing, "Yes. I understand."

Mula sa gilid ng aking mga mata nakita ko ang pagtango niya. "Mabuti kung ganoon."

Inayos ni Mrs. Valencia ang kanyang suot na bestida, bago niya ipinatong ang kamay sa aking balikat at iginiya ako papunta sa receiving area. I tried not to shrug it off. In order to do so, I kept my thoughts wandering inside my pitch-black skull, instead of paying attention to the nasty hand on top of my shoulder.

The smell of coffee welcomed us the moment we entered the receiving area. It was more like a normal living room, with golden rays of sunlight beaming through the windows, illuminating the whole space. The wooden floor was burnished to perfection that it felt new to me, as well as the pictures that hanged on the cream walls. If this was any other day, this room wouldn't look so homey and organized. But today, everything was in order that it looked like a different place.

I shifted my eyes towards the sofa. Two figures, a woman and a man, sat there, both holding a cup of coffee on their hands. Hindi ko magawang makita ang mga mukha nila dalawa pareho silang nakayuko. Pero nang marinig kaming paparating, halos magkasabay silang nag-angat ng kanilang mga paningin.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ferreira, ito po si Danielle," Mrs. Valencia said, slightly pushing me forward. "Siya po iyong babaeng kinupkop namin matapos ang nangyaring sunog sa bahay nila, ilang buwan lamang ang nakalilipas. Siya po ba ang hinahanap ninyo?"

Kunot-noo kong pinagmasdan ang babaeng tinawag niya na Mrs. Ferreira. Ang kulay kape nitong mga mata ay nanlaki, kasabay ng pangingilid ng kanyang luha. She had this pink bow-shaped lips, thin nose, and almond hair that cascaded past her shoulders. She reminded me of Brazilian beauty queens, only older and a lot more sophisticated. Sa tingin ko ay nasa late-thirties na siya, kahit pa mas bata pa roon ang kanyang dating.

Beside her was a tall man with dark mane tied in a low ponytail. His eyes were just as dark, like blackholes sucking up your existence, and skin a perfect tan, compared to Mrs. Ferreira's porcelain-white complexion. The black suit he was wearing hugged his large frame, much like how Mrs. Ferreira's white dress hugged her every curves.

Bakit nga ba gusto akong ampunin ng mag-asawang ito? They seem well-off, and could easily find a more suitable kid, or better yet, use one of those expensive methods to conceive a child. So, why the world would they want to adopt someone like me?

"Are you really Danielle?" Mrs. Ferreira said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Henry Alfonso's kid?"

My brows furrowed even more.

Paano niyang nakilala ang tatay ko? From the news? I doubt it. She spoke his name as though she knew him from a long time ago.

Despite the rapid questions that flooded my brain, I nodded. "Yes, I am. Do you happen to know my father?"

Mrs. Ferreira bursted into a series of sobs which made this whole scene a lot more unusual. Napa-awang ang bibig ko. Kailanman, hindi ko pa naranasang makipag-usap sa mga taong gusto akong ampunin, dahil simula nang dumating ako rito, wala rin namang naging interesado sa akin. But I was sure getting yourself adopted wasn't supposed to be like this.

None of them were supposed to speak of my parents as if they knew them.

None of them were supposed to cry after meeting me.

And definitely none of them were supposed to walk towards me and wrap their arms around my body, pulling me into a tight embrace like they had missed me.

"Natalia," Mrs. Ferreira cried over my shoulder, still not wanting to let go.

"I'm sorry, but my name-"

"Natalia, my little girl."

I froze.

Did I heard that right? Her little girl?

I looked to my left, where Mrs. Valencia was standing.

Hindi ko na maintindihan ang mga nangyayari. It was either Mrs. Ferreira had mistook me for someone, or she had already lost herself. But why does she seem pretty certain about something?

No, she was certain about something. I just didn't knew what it was! But I was sure that Mrs. Valencia knew the answers.

And I was right.

Because when I saw her eyes watering with-I assumed-fake tears instead of looking pathetically clueless like I was, it all dawned to me that she knew something more to the story, and had intended not to tell me.

This damn old hag.

"Lolita, I think you're scaring her," Mr. Ferreira gently chimed in, forcing my attention back to him and his wife. "Give her space. Let her process everything first."

He patted his wife's shoulders, and Mrs. Ferreira finally pulled away from me. Though she never let go of my hands.

"I'm sorry, Natalia!" she said. "It's just that... it's been so long. I'm so sorry for letting you live all those years with that demon! We tried to searching for you, but he was always one step ahead of us."

Shaking my head, I forced out a tight smile, trying to grasp the last bit of my rationality. "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, Natalia." She shook her head. "It's us, sweetie-your family."

"My family died in the fire, five months ago." I replied firmly. "And my name isn't Natalia-it's Danielle. You might be confusing me for someone."

"No, sweetie, listen to me. I know this is all too sudden, but please, believe me. We're your family-your real family. And you are not Danielle Alfonso, but our daughter, Natalia."

My lips automatically stretched into a wider smile, though I found no humor in the situation. My limbs turned weak, my ears started buzzing, and my head stopped functioning. Narinig ko ang lahat ng sinabi ni Mrs. Ferreira, ngunit tila ba ayaw nang tanggapin iyon ng utak ko. It was like being in a dream so real, that it felt like reality.

Only, it wasn't a dream. This really was reality, and I just got slapped by it in the face.