Chapter 23

The minutes seem to just drag on. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes.

How long would he take to drive over here? Ten minutes? Maybe fifteen?

Alex hasn't seen him in four days. And in these four days he was a mess. Crying on the floor, crying in his pillow. He started to avoid the kitchen, since that note still lays on the table. He thinks he even lost weight.

How foolish was this?

Peter beside him also fidgets. He got band-aids all over his bare legs and arms, even one on his temple. Everyone can see that he was fighting and feels guilty about it.

Alex' gaze shifts back to the clock on the wall. Ten minutes passed already. He could be here any moment.

"Come on, Peter. Let's not drag this out. We will meet him at the front door." Alex says this equally to Peter and himself.

Just when they leave the supervisor's office Alex sees the front entrance door swing open.

There he is, this gorgeous man who occupied his every thought the last weeks. With panic he feels tears welling up in his eyes, but quickly surpresses them. He straightens his back and goes to meet him with deciscive steps. He still has his job to do.

"Mr. Smith, thank you for coming." They both flinch at the way Alex addresses him. But he needs this, he needs to put a distance between them so he can act professionally. Even if the distance is just made by words.

"Teacher Alex, what happened?" He makes it easy for Alex, straight to the point. "Peter and a kid named Lucas got into a fight. From what I gathered, Lucas provoked him first, saying something about his family being mafia and scum. Peter suddenely jumped at him and they both fell to the floor, wrestling and injurying themselves while at it. We quickly separated them, but could not prevent all of the injuries." Alex reports with a neutral voice, at the end gesturing towards the multiple band-aids on Peter.

Daniel squats in front of Peter "Why did you fight him?" There was no accusation in his voice, just a question.

"I always hate it when people talk bad about you. I love you and you are important to me. They don't even know you.", Peter's voice is merely a whine. Daniel nods at this as if he understands.

"Will there be compensation required?", he asks Alex. At this, Alex twists his mouth. "I explained the situation to Lucas' mother, I also highlighted the fact that her son provoked Peter. But because of your profession she thinks her child was justified." Alex still feels the rage from before. This ignorant mother, gaining profit out of a child's quarrel where clearly both were at fault. Would it have been any other kid who hit her son, she would have let it go.

"Of course. I will write a check and hand it to you so you can pass it on." Daniel didn't even flinch with the revelation. It seems like he expected this. Not noticing Alex' slowly boiling anger, he adds mumbling, more like he is speaking to himself, with a sad voice "And Peter also has to get used to it. There is no happiness for the civilians close to the mafia members."

Alex finally snap's. "Bullshit!" Peter flinches at the harsh word, but Daniel finally snaps out of his daze. "I was happy with you. Really happy." Alex feels that he spirals himself in a rage, that this was neither the time nor place for this kind of conversation. But he still continues.

He finally found his answer. It has always been there, just waiting to spill out but he closed himself off towards it, pushing it back with logical reasoning. But now he just can't ignore it anymore.

So he blurts out, "I know I can be happy with you, screw logic and common sense."

Daniel looks at him in shock. "You don't know what you are saying. You don't know this world."

Alex stands straight, showing all of the determination that came with finally having an answer to his question. "Then tell me. Tell me everything, so I can be prepared. But it still will not change my answer." He walks up to Daniel, looks him deep in the the eyes and softly touches his cheek with his right hand. "Daniel, I want this."

Daniel visibly slumps in front of him, all the tension leaving his posture, fully submitting in front of the younger and smaller man. "Okay. I will tell you and afterwards you can decide." He looks at Alex, smiling sadly, as if he just robbs the innocence of a pure child. "I will pick you up at 6 o'clock."

Alex, feeling him relenting, grabs this opportunity "No, just come to my apartment. There we can talk undisturbed. And remember, I promised you spaghetti?"

Both smile faintly at each other. This evening would define, whether they could reestablish their just barely developed relationship. It will be an exciting night.

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The rest of the day went by in a flash. Alex leaves on time, takes Zero out for a walk and gets the ingredients on the way. When he returns, he still has an hour before Daniel would show up.

He decides to quickly shower and then looks frantically through his wardrobe. He opts for neutral clothing. He has to show him that he is sincere and not just trying to seduce him. If he would be a casual fling, Daniel would not bother with explaining everything to him.

Half an hour before Daniel's arrival he starts busying himself in the kitchen. He may not be the greatest cook, but over the past few months of living independently he perfected his spaghetti bolognese.

While the noodles are boiling on the stove he looks over his apartment another time, tidies up some scattered things.

What could he do besides this? It was his first time having a lover over. 'Not even a lover', he corrects himself sadly.

He throws a sideway glance at the bedroom door. Should he...? 'I will just clean it up a bit, since he might see the mess through a crack in the door.' Alex justifies himself, before starting to straighten the blanket and throwing some dirty clothes in the laundry basket.

Then, the doorbell rings. 'This is it.', Alex thinks. The 'make and break' of their relationship.

With his heartbeat quickening in his chest, he goes to open the door.