Fallen Problems

"Pick a room wherever, D. Just call for Dobby or Winky for help. They'll set you up with our bank account and get you moved in. Use it as much as you want too, we're rich as hell."

"Thanks, Harry. When can we get to training though?"

The King laughed, "Come to the basement in an hour or so. We'll see where you're at. That poison still itch?"

He shrugged, "Not as bad I think. I don't see any fire though."

"Hmm," Harry waved his wand, turning a clock on the wall into a knife. "Try to cut yourself with this and that the regeneration."

Dudley raised his eyebrow.

Harry stared back.

Dudley finally grabbed the knife and knicked his thumb, only to see it turn into flames with an odd sense. It wasn't pain, but it felt kind of like it.

"Wicked."

"And that's just the start, Rook."

============

"Okay, I've got to hand it to you, D. That's bloody perfect."

Dudley laughed as he turned on the TV. It was so big, it practically covered a wall of the training room, "I had to do it. You've missed out on too much with your boarding school. A good King needs to know his pop culture."

Harry scoffed in response, "Sounds like a perfect Grunnings business expense."

His cousin smirked as he raised his fist and activated his Sacred Gear, "Learned from the best of dirtbags."

Harry pounded Dudley's fist, letting him transfer half of his physical strength. With his raw power, magic, and speed, giving him the advantage of strength made the fights more fun.

Plus, the former wizard felt that training with half of his strength helped more.

============

"Yo, Issei, how's the new life treating you?"

The owner of the Boosted Gear was peddling his bike with a stack of fliers in his basket.

"Oh, Harry, I-"

He stopped in his tracks and stared.

And stared some more.

"See, just like I told you. He basically ignored me when fake tits jumped him."

"Huh, fake? How? You lie!" he hopped off his bike. "I've looked at them so much I'd know if they were fake!"

Harry smirked, "All devils can use magic to change their appearance. It's definitely fake, how do you think they stay up like that? And have you ever seen an unattractive devil?"

"Huh," Issei contemplated. "I guess that's fine then. It's not completely fake."

"He stares like an ass then ignores people. Oppai Dragon Emperor is much better. Do you think he can change the gauntlet's look?"

Harry shrugged, "They work on desire, Val, maybe?"

"Sorry!" Issue bowed low. "I have no excuses for my rudeness. Please consider forgiving me."

"Don't you have fliers to deliver?"

Harry brought his hands to his nose, "This is how I always felt when introducing Ron to people, am I doing the same thing but expecting different results?"

"Soooo, are you a member of Harry-sensei's harem?"

Valerie showed her fangs, "The Queen of it, of course."

Harry would have said something about not having a harem or a girlfriend, but Valerie did sleep with him after all. Why was life so confusing?

"Issei Hyoudou, Pawn of Rias Gremory and future Harem King, nice to meet you Queen-san," he bowed to an acute angle for the second time.

"Just... go deliver your fliers. We'll see you later, Issei."

============

"Avada Kedavra!"

Harry sighed and sat on the floor. He just didn't get it, he was able to Crucio and Imperio the cockroach, but he couldn't kill it.

He'd been practicing the spells he could use wandlessly and create magic circles for to empower them further. Expecto Patronum, Fiendfyre, and Unforgivables. All of them were esoteric spells that relied on certain emotions to evoke their use.

Since Sectumsempra and the 100's of dark arts spells that Tom knew were completely useless in combat, Harry wanted to get some use out of his knowledge as a wizard. Although, it took him plenty of goading from Dudley before he relented and hit his cousin sworn some dark arts. He couldn't help but be disappointed when his Rook took them without a scratch.

Crucio relied on reveling in the feelings of pain that one could evoke and Harry didn't ACTUALLY want to hurt the bug when he practiced the curse, he could still use it. He figured it had something to do with the fact that he'd used it before but still wasn't sure.

Harry was still confused with the killing curse as a whole. It should affect the caster's soul since it could be used to create a Horcrux, but was that just a coincidence? Did the curse shut off all organ functions or did it actually affect the soul? If it did, did it just cut the souls connection off with the body or did it destroy it?

Maybe it was because of how conflicted he was that he was unable to use the AK in practice.

He put it in the back of his mind. Harry didn't want to think of the applications of planning to destroy the soul of the next deserving victim he met. Did anyone deserve that in the first place?

He focused on his happy memories. How he felt bringing Sirius from the Veil. When he stood over Dobby's grave as he took a breath of fresh air. How Valerie smiled when she could no longer hear the souls of the dead.

"Expecto Patronum."

The light blinded the room and Prongs appeared. Harry could even feel fur when he rested his hand in the deer.

Yet... Prong's body was as if it was in flux. It was a deer but didn't want to stay a deer.

Harry wanted to keep his Patronus as his dad's memory, but he didn't draw strength from thoughts of his parents anymore, he was his own man now. A King.

He cut off the Patronus and the blinding light went away.

Nothing in life was simple anymore. Harry mentally scoffed to himself. Like it ever had been for him.

============

"I've come to a conclusion."

"And what's that, luv?"

Raynare chucked a cigarette to the ground, "I must really, really hate myself."

"Hmm, is it really that bad?" the other Fallen, Kalawarner asked as she stretched out like a cat across both her lovers.

"Yes," she answered. "I had two jobs. Stay hidden and watch the boy. I still haven't killed this asshole and the boy was picked up by the Gremorys."

"Yeah," said asshole replied. "I'd really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill me. Again. It was hot the first few times, then it got old."

"I told her she was being stupid, Siri, she's still hung up on Azazel."

"Shut up Kala!"

"I just don't get it, the guys been around forever, left the first married angel in Heaven to have a harem, wastes his days away doing nothing, and you still want some of that pie? I've heard the audio of his late wife crying herself to death in front of Father, I just don't get it. Not too mention this whole operation doesn't sound like anything he'd do in the first place. "

"Fine, it's unrealistic and I'm a stupid little bitch, what more do you want me to say?"

"Eh, that's all really."

"Bitch."

"You'd know best."

"Do you two have to do this every single time?" Sirius asked.

Their immediate, synchronized response suggested that yes, they did have to fight like teenage girls every time.

After all, Sirius may not know it, but Fallen angels aren't particularly known for their ability to change.

============

Harry walked back into the manor and slowly made his way to the dining table, where one of the house elves made his food appear.

"How'd it go, pup?"

"Ugh. So annoying. Protect me in case this experimental potion blows up. So annoying."

"You should have called one of us, Harry," Dudley added.

"I know, I know," Harry acquiesced as he forced himself to eat. "It's just too dangerous to send one of you alone to England with the Fallen there. Once we get a few more into the peerage, everything will work out better. Someone that knows the area and can delegate this work would be preferred, but I haven't found anyone worthwhile yet."

Harry and Valerie had been taking almost all of the contracts in Magical Britain. He felt that it wasn't worth the risk and only sent others from his peerage if they had a backup in case of an attack.

He knew he wouldn't win in a fight against Fallen there, but he was sure he could get away. It wasn't like they had an Ultimate-rank Fallen staying there or anything.

The King dropped his fork and sighed.

Sirius got up and winked at him, "Wipe that look off your face, pup, we got this one."

"Mhm, thanks a ton Padfoot, I appreciate it."

Valerie basically carried him to bed for a nap.

============

Sirius was pissing Harry off. He went to see those Fallen again. Was it that hard to get any respect as a King? Was the prospect of death or war, not enough?

Harry decided he couldn't let himself brood on the problem any longer. If he needed help, Harry would help him, but if he died because of his proclivities, he wouldn't let it get to him.

He got his second chance.

The wizard devil felt cold thinking it, but Sirius was a grown man. Sure, he was his servant for conflicts and battle, but this was his problem. In the event of a war, he would be forced to throw his godfather under the bus and take a hit to his reputation, but he did all he could.

At least the idiot dogfather hadn't been hiding the trysts from him. It could have been worse.