Nervous chuckle escaped from Long Jinjing's lips even as her heart shook at what he said. But before delusion could take over her mind, she quickly forced herself not to take what he said seriously, knowing that he wasn't hers in the first place no matter how much she wished for it.
Not wanting to dwell on her painful unrequited love for him, she took hold of his hard length again and began to slowly stroke him. He closed his eyes and groaned, allowing her to pleasure him in her own pace.
'I love you,' she told him in her mind.
She wanted to declare her love for him again and again even though it hurt. However, she stopped herself from doing so because of her promise not to make him uncomfortable with her constant declaration of love. And most importantly, doing so would only make her feel more pathetic.
"I want you, Nikolai," she told him instead.