7. Chapter 7: Hermione

Well, as you requested - this POV is Hermione's! You'll get to read what she felt about last night. Hehehe!

& lookies here...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 7

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HERMIONE

Oh. My. God.

Oh my God! I cannot believe what has just happened.

Malfoy seduced me. Yes, you read right. Seduced.

Well, actually, it was more threatened than seduced. But still. Not like I fell for it or anything - now don't you go thinking funny ideas, you. Of course I didn't fall for it. Who do you think I am? Pansy? Lavender? Parvati? No no no, I would not fall for Malfoy, never ever, I say!

But it was definitely very shocking, all the same. I knew that the dreading feeling I had in my stomach I had after Ron fell ill wasn't just cramps. I had known that because Ron was sick, that meant a replacement Prefect. And since Dumbledore always rambled on and on about house unity (not that I don't agree with him, but you have to admit that the speech gets boring after a while), I had suspected that it would be a Slytherin replacement. After all, who didn't know that the two houses that needed unity the most was Gryffinder and Slytherin? If you locked two people, one from either of those houses, in a room and came back an hour later, you would probably find them yelling profanities and performing forbidden spells on each other.

And who were the Slytherin Prefects? Parkinson and Malfoy, I think it was. Yes, that's right. Why Dumbledore couldn't have let me patrol with that thicker-than-a-concussed-troll cow instead of the ugly - well, not ugly, but stupider-and-snottier-than-a-snotty-tissue ferret, was beyond me.

I suppose that if I had to spend three hours with Pansy, I probably would have been in for a three-hour talk about Malfoy. Handsome Malfoy, sexy Malfoy -

Seductive Malfoy...

Urgh!!!

Just thinking about last night's patrol makes me shiver in horror. I still can't believe Malfoy had actually backed me against a wall and nearly kissed me.

Yuck!

"Are you OK, 'Mione?" someone asks. "You have this odd glazed look on your face..."

I snap out of my thinking and smile at Harry. "Nothing's wrong, Harry. I'm fine."

"If you say so," he says. "Don't worry, Ron should be OK now." He pats me comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Right," I say, rubbing my eyes. It is the morning after Ron collapsed from his allergy of the wood sprite pollen, and because Madam Pomfrey had said we could come and take him back to the castle today, here we are. We stop outside the Hospital Wing and I knock on the door. After a few seconds, Madam Pomfrey opens it and stares at us.

"Ah! You two. Mr Weasley's friends, am I right?"

Harry nods. I suppress a yawn. I had tossed and turned in my bed until quite late last night - or rather, very early this morning, thinking about Malfoy and coming up with a new scheme to hurt him. I have one in mind now. It's in my pocket, on another sheet of my diary paper.

--- Plan 2: Break some of Malfoy's bones, hohoho.

When: When he is not in his common room or in a class.

Why: For doing... doing what he did last night to me.

How: Will need Peeves' help for this task. Need him to carry something heavy and bang it into Malfoy. Not too hard, though - don't want to kill him. Yet.

I cackle as I imagine the scene: Malfoy, screaming and clutching a broken limb, while Peeves blows a raspberry at him and zooms off.

Suddenly I am aware that Harry and Madam Pomfrey are looking at me with odd expressions. "Are you alright, Miss Granger?" she asks. I nod quickly, cursing silently. How could I have become immersed in my thoughts again, in front of others? If I continue doing this, my reputation will be ruined. Oh, the shame.

When Madam is gone to wake Ron, Harry turns to me. "Were you thinking about another plan to kill Malfoy back there?" he whispers.

"Well... yes," I admit grudgingly. "Last night, he- I mean, I need to get back at him for something."

Harry raises an eyebrow. "Did he give you a hard time while you were patrolling last night?" he asks, a vicious edge in his voice. "Because if he did, then you can count on me and Ron to avenge you."

I laugh. "No, thank you very much, Harry. That's why I'm doing this list. I want to get rid of him myself."

"Oh," he says, looking a bit frightened. "Just don't get too violent, Hermione. We don't want our best friend to become a mad ax-woman or something."

"Don't worry. I'll be fine," I say lightly. Mad ax-woman, indeed!

A minute later, Madam Pomfrey comes back with Ron, who looks tired but happy to see us. After we leave the Hospital Wing, Ron tells us what happened to him when he collapsed.

"... I suddenly felt really dizzy, and I think I started repeating things." Harry and I exchange glances, smiling as we remember how Ron was going on about washing my top. Which reminds me, I have to get to that soon. "And then I suddenly blacked out. It was scary - I thought I was dying or something."

"How was your time in the Hospital Wing?" I ask.

"It was OK... I mean, Madam Pomfrey was nice and all, but mainly I just slept and she gave me some potions to drink last night. That's about it," he replies, shrugging.

"That's good to hear," Harry says, relieved. "I thought you were done for. You were practically foaming at the mouth yesterday when we took you here."

Ron wipes his mouth absently. "No, I'm fine now."

Herbology is next, and we walk slowly towards the Greenhouse. "Will you be alright for Herbology, with all the plants and stuff? You won't faint again, will you?" Harry asks.

"Hey, I'm not that weak," complains Ron. "And anyway, Madam Pomfrey said I would be fine for Herbology."

We are studying in Greenhouse 3 today. Several dangerous-looking plants with sharp teeth sticking out everywhere line the furthest wall, and Professor Sprout has set up the task today far away from them. I am glad; I don't want to miss seeing Malfoy getting hit by Peeves, though if I do go to the Hospital Wing, I'll know if he got hurt or not.

"Today, students, we are brewing Mandrake Potions," Sprout declares to the class once all the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs have arrived. "Does anyone know what the potions are used for?"

Of course I know. Even if I didn't read so many books, I would have known, because the potion had been used on me in my second year. I raise my hand promptly. Nobody looks surprised at this. "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Mandrake Potion is used to cure petrified victims," I say. "Also it can be used to revive those who have heard a baby Mandrake's cries. However, it can be harmful to a completely healthy person, because of the special bacteria in it."

"Correct. 10 points to Gryffindor," the Professor says happily. "Though the potion will not do anything but make the healthy drinker comatose for a few days - it will not make them ill or kill them.

"Today we will be cutting the leaves of the adult Mandrakes and putting them into a tray. Put on your earmuffs, and take them off only when I tell you. Adult Mandrakes don't need to be taken out of the soil for their cries to be dangerous."

We fight for the earmuffs that aren't fluffy and pink, as usual, and watch raptly as Professor Sprout lifts the thick glass casing of the tank that holds the Mandrakes. As soon as she does so, all the plants around the Greenhouse curl up into a ball; even the sharp-toothed ones.

Thoughts begin to drift together in my head as I watch. Mandrake Potion... lethal... Malfoy... drink...

The rest of the lesson passes in a blur. All through Charms, which is after Herbology, I can't concentrate and keep thinking about how I could use the Mandrake Potion on Malfoy. It would only make him comatose, as Sprout had said. He wouldn't die or anything.

After lunch, we have about half an hour's break. I had told Peeves that this would be a good time to do his deed, so I forgot about the Mandrake Potion idea and instead thought about the plan in hand.

About 20 minutes later, I start to grow frustrated that nothing seems to have happened yet. What is Peeves doing right now? I had pretended to be the Bloody Baron when I asked him this morning (I borrowed Harry's invisibility cloak), so he shouldn't ignore my request. I stand up. "I'm going to the toilet," I lie. I feel bad about lying to my friends, but I have to check on Peeves and Malfoy. "Be back in a mo'."

"Sure," says Harry, and Ron nods. Neither of them look suspicious, and so I sprint off.

After asking around, I discover that Peeves was last seen carrying a large chandelier towards the hallway near the DADA class. He must be going to find Malfoy, I think, grinning. I head in that direction, just to make sure.

When I reach the hallway, I find that Malfoy is walking with Pansy from the direction of the Transfiguration classroom. Slytherin Prefect duties? I wonder, and walk forward nonchalantly, the picture of innocence. All I need is a few flowers in my hair. When I approach the two, Malfoy smirks at me, and I roll my eyes. "Mudblood," he says. I suppose this is his way of greeting.

"Ferret," I say back. He stops, and glares at me, ignoring Pansy who is tugging on his arm and sending me death glares. I guess that is her way of supporting Malfoy.

Suddenly, I hear a cackle, and Peeves suddenly materializes behind Malfoy, carrying the chandelier. Just like what people said. My eyes widen, and Malfoy looks confused at what I am staring at over his shoulder. He starts to turn, but not before the chandelier smashes into his back and sends him sprawling onto the ground - on top of me.

"Hehehe!" Peeves grins wickedly. "Sorry about that, Malfoy! 'Twas an unfortunate accident, you see." And with another cackle, he speeds off, leaving the remains of the chandelier in a broken pile next us.

Now that Peeves is gone, there is just one more problem to solve - Malfoy. I am pinned to the ground, underneath him, and I attempt to push him off.

"Get off of me!" I hiss.

"Can't," he replies, a pained expression on his face. "I think my back is broken..."

Quite a crowd has gather around us now, though they don't come too close because it seems that whenever they try, candles start throwing themselves at the crowd. Bewitched? Who knows.

"I don't care!" I say in a low voice. "Just get yourself off me. I don't care if it means breaking your back even more."

He smirks again. Looks like he's not in as much pain as he looks like he is. "Don't tell me you don't like being in this position," he whispers. The crowd is beginning to giggle and the girls seem to be making envious faces at me. Looks like most of them would love to change places with me right now. I sigh.

We are in a rather awkward position. Malfoy's arms are leaning on mine, rather forcefully, and his head is lying on my shoulder, with the top of his head under my chin. My legs are trapped because both his legs are on the outer side of mine. My only hope of getting away is to shove him over - which might snap his spine - or wait for a teacher to get him off.

"Where are the teachers when you need them?" I moan after about ten minutes of torture. "I'm waiting another five minutes - if they don't come, then I'm going to throw you over myself."

"As if you can," Malfoy sneers, challenge in his voice.

I stare at him. "Is your back really even hurt?" I ask. As much as I hate him, I don't really want to cause him to become paralyzed.

"Why don't you find out?" he answers, smirking.

"Why don't you at least try to get off me, if your back isn't broken?" I snap. I want to cross my arms in frustration, but I can't since I'm stuck in this position. I give him a hard shove, but fail to move him much except make his head fall to one side, so that the top of his head is now level with my nose and his face is facing the floor.

"Ouch," he complains. "Try to be gentle, please, Granger."

I snort. Gentle? If it were anyone else, I would probably attempt to gently push them over, but since it's Malfoy, I decide not to bother. I hear Pansy's angry voice in the crowd, telling me not to hurt her "Draco darling".

I grin. " 'Draco darling', is it?"

"Shut up," he says rudely. "Ignore Parkinson - she's a master of ridiculous names."

In spite of the circumstances, I laugh. He glares at me, and makes his attempt to get off me. Supporting himself with the hand that is on the floor, he tries to push himself off me with his other hand by placing it on my shoulder - and it lands on my chest. My eyes widen, and he looks surprised. "What?" he says, annoyed at my expression. Then he realizes where his hand is and he pales, if that's possible for him.

"You- you pervert!!!" I scream, slapping his face. The impact throws him off balance and he falls to the side. The crowd goes ooh and aah, and many girls come rushing to Malfoy's aid as he lays there, groaning pathetically. I stand up quickly, and brush myself off. "Urk," I mutter under my breath. I had never thought that he would be the groping kind.

Well, it had been an accident. He didn't even know where his hand was until the look on my face told him.

Slowly, I glance back at him. He catches my eye and gives an apologetic look.

What? Malfoy, apologetic? I doubt it. When I blink, the look on his face is the familiar smirk again. I shake my head as Professor Anderson - DADA teacher - rushes towards him and conjures up a stretcher. Then, she walks away, the stretcher floating lazily behind her.

"Phew," I say, smiling to myself as I head back towards where I left Harry and Ron. "A job well done."

There was just that hand-on-chest bit that I didn't like. And of course, the whole being-pinned-underneath-the-Slytherin-sex-god thing. Gark...

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Don't worry, people, it was just an accident. :D I would never make Draco the perverse groping kind! Nuuuu! Please review, they keep me going. And of course, the more reviews, the faster the update, ne?