This seems more like a play rather than a novel, along with a couple of grammatical errors the biggest problem I saw was that I got a bit confused at who was talking and what the subject of conversation really was. I have a rough idea, but I can't really imagine how these characters look either. I don't really know how this world looks like either. I look forward to future updates!
Nehel_Whiteheart
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me gustaSin respuestas. ¡Sé el primero!