Review Detail of Romasss in Rise of the Queen of wolfs

Here is a sample of the things I edited. Not all things are changed but look at it and reply to me. The war had been going on for months, thousands of men had lost their lives on the battlefield for the fight to conquer a kingdom, Gortha. The king of Azroth himself led this battle. The witch had prophesied that Azroth would be victorious in conquering Gortha, and they were. Cassius king of Azroth had personally beheaded king Gershon, and his sons had their heads hanging in the middle of the battlefield. But Cassius was not yet pleased as king Gershon had a daughter whose beauty was said to be second to none. There were also rumors that she was a witch. "You must run milady. Cassius and his men are headed for the castle. They have conquered our kingdom, your father and brothers have fallen and only the gods know what he will do when he finds you." Ophelia, the personal maiden of the princess said as she dragged the princess. With horror visible in her eyes, Dia couldn't believe what she heard. Her whole family had been slaughtered, and now she was supposed to leave the only home she had ever known. " No!!.. I will not leave my people in the hands of that beast.... Never".. She was not going to leave her people behind. "I would rather die than running away!" She was determined to stay... "Milady, I am afraid Cassius might not have plans to kill you...at least not yet. Instead, he would do more dishonorable things to you." After arguing for a while, Dia agrees to flee on the account that she would come back someday and destroy Cassius. "Farewell Ophelia, we shall meet again soon..." and with that, she left the palace. Cassius and his men head inside the palace of Gortha. He was there to meet the princess, but when they got there she had already fled. Cassius became enraged and yelled at his soldiers. "Find her, bring her to me!!!... I was going to give her the honor of a palace bed but now find her and drag her to the battlefield, I will have her on the bloody floors of her people, under the heads of her father and brothers." And so they went out in search of the princess and eventually by nightfall they caught up with her. As Cassius had ordered, Dia was dragged to the battlefield. She was horrified at what she saw. Dead bodies were everywhere, some bodies without heads, some had no legs, some were in an unrecognizable form. The sight of this made her nauseous, but then the worst sight of all was that of her family...or what was left of them. You could see the horror in her eyes. Their heads were hanging above a tent, and she was being dragged into it. The tears in her eyes were uncontrollable. Her whole world had shattered. She was taken into the tent, and there he was, the man responsible for her misery..... Oh... The hate she had for this beast. Cassius signaled his men to leave.., and they were left alone. Earlier on, Dia had taken a dagger from one of the soldiers, she just had to wait for the perfect moment to drive it down his black heart...if he even still had one. "You shall suffer for what you did to my family!!!" She shouted at him with so much hate in her heart. "Not before I finish with you." He says as he swiftly walks up to her and throws her on the bed. The look in his eyes was like that of a predator who just caught its prey. In a second, he was on top of her, tearing her garment like paper while she struggled and screamed, trying to fight back but to no avail. "You are a monster...a monster, you killed my family, and now right under where they are hanged you want to take me too, you are just a beast!!!" She yelled with tears in her eyes. She was totally powerless against him. "It makes it more interesting, and the more you fight back the more excited I get". He said with a disgusting smile on his face. In a minute, he had already torn off every single piece of clothing from her body. She was now just like an open book, vulnerable. He strips himself of his robe and then holds both of her hands down and ties them to the bed pole. He forces his lips on hers, she tries to not part her lips but his force was too much. Soon his tongue was in her mouth and it was like he was exploring the insides of her mouth. Then he moved his tongue down to her neck and then down her cleavage, he cups her breasts with one hand and moves his tongue to her nipple, she lets out a soft moan. With one hand on her breast, he moves the other down her waist until he touches the point of her heat. Like finally finding what he was searching for, and then swiftly with much force he thrusts into her, she let out a painful scream..... He had gotten what he wanted, he had taken her purity. He then untied her. She felt filthy and disgusting as she just laid there crying endlessly. They were the tears of pain, anger, and revenge. Cassius stood up from the bed and walked over to the table in the tent. He poured himself a drink...he was feeling victorious. It was at that moment that he had his back turned against her. She searched through what was left of her cloth for the dagger, she had taken earlier but she couldn't find it. "Looking for something?" She looks up at Cassius..... He had the dagger in his hands. "What were you going to do with this? Kill your lord and king? He asked in a mocking tone. "You will never be my lord and king!" She said, feeling more disgusted and angered. "Your king and father are dead, and we just made love my dear. I am sure, he was even watching the whole thing." He had an disgusting grin on his face. She just couldn't take it anymore, she sprung out of the bed, picked the other dagger that was in the room, and charged towards him..... She could suddenly feel a sharp pain in her stomach. Her hands were still in the air, the dagger fell out of her hand. It was like she had been stabbed... Wait...there was something sticking out of her stomach... She realized that he had actually stabbed her. She slowly staggered around the tent and then moved outside and fell to the floor. Her blood splattered all over the sand. With her last breath, she says "Cassius...you are no lesser than a beast, for your sins you shall pay a dearly." She coughs out blood and breathe heavily... "Today on this ground that my blood was spilled, I curse you." ....Suddenly, they heard the sound of thunder followed by a series of lightning... " The next full moon, you shall be turned into a beast, and the earth shall open up to swallow you. You shall be imprisoned underneath the ground for eternity, never dying but forever living in misery... You shall-" Before she could say anything more, her head was cut off by Cassius... It was just then that he noticed the birthmark on the back of her neck, and it was in the shape of a crescent. It was of the moon goddess... Panicking and shivering, Cassuis mummur, "So she was a witch!!!" The next full moon was in two days, Cassius had summoned the witch who gave the prophecy of the Azroth's victory but it would take her exactly two days to get to where they were... He kept telling himself that it was not real, it wouldn't come to pass. There was absolutely nothing he could do but panic, he was starting to lose his mind. One time his meal was brought to him and he started seeing the servant as the princess placing a curse on him, so he reached for his sword and killed the servant girl. It was finally the day of the full moon, night was fast approaching. The witch was riding as fast as possible to get to the battlefield before sundown. As it was getting closer to sunset, the king could no longer wait so he took his horse and started riding towards the direction the witch would be coming from. He was going as fast as he could. But just when he got to the middle of the battlefield, for some reason he fell of the horse and that was when he noticed.....the sun had gone down and the moon was up shining brightly at him. Suddenly, Cassius felt his body getting hot, he took off his robe to cool down. But suddenly, he felt all the bones in his body being broken... No....they were more like being replaced. He cried out in pain but his cry sounded more like a howl. The soldiers had gathered around but they were terrified by what they were seeing. His muscles were getting bigger, longer. Sharp claws sprung out of his fingers, his teeth became longer. His body was producing extra hair... He tore off the remaining piece of clothing left on his body. The soldiers were frozen with fear, he had turned into a beast just like she said, but not an ordinary beast. He looked like a man and a wolf all in one. He was like a man-wolf or a Wolfman. Suddenly, it felt like the ground was shaking...and it was, for it was starting to crack open. They all started running back for their own safety. No one remembered their king anymore as they ran to save their lives first. By the time the witch got there, it was already too late. Cassius had become a beast and the ground had swallowed him up. He was now imprisoned in the ground never to be seen again.