Review Detail of chonnie in Above All

lmao im rewriting this bc i pressed the wrong stars. The writing is better than most original novels on WN, these are my thoughts on how it can be improved. I found the first few chapters were very direct. Its good to be clear about what you're trying to say, but sometimes its just a little too on the nose for my taste. Instead of saying 'The Vermilion family is declining.' Maybe you can try: 'He had watched how the brother of his heart bore the Vermilion clan' s burdens on his shoulders. Inch by inch, their influence had been relocated unjustly by the crown. After many springs had come and gone, the Vermilion family had become the shadow of their former glory.' Something like that (idk i just wrote that on the spot sorry if thats crap). I'm not so in love with the characters yet. I appreciate their relationships with each other, but I hope to see layers beyond that in the future. The MC seems to be the most fleshed out, but I hope to see more depth to the other characters as well. Hopefully this helped the author to address some of the things that can help create a more engaging novel (of course, its all just my thoughts. im not an authority or anything). I'll be keeping this in my library because I'm really excited to see how the author improves! He/she is very engaging and asks for criticism often, which is wonderful to see. Author I'm rooting for you!