Who_Arth_Thou

I am back again it looks like you took some of my suggestions to heart. It is quite enjoyable to watch a novice writer improve so much so quickly. keep up the amazing work

Chapter two was an amazing read and I will be returning as this gets updated. I hope to see great improvements in the writing quality and chapter 3 better be just as good

still an amazing read grammar still needs work but I like where its going

I gave everything 5 stars cuz I want to see where you take this. Its a good read so far only reason I gave 'Stability of Updates' 1 star was because I am unsure if it will get a second chapter but if it does I will read it

for a rough draft I would its really good I would recommend that you increase the descriptiveness of some scenes and not switch POV's that often

For a beginner writer I wouldnt recomment switching points of view that often

you need to increase ur descriptive capabilities

I think you can extend this paragraph by a few more

Thats a reference to Elden ring aint it

Not Descriptive enough again