Pixxie_Mysteria999

This story is quite interesting for me to read and I quite liked it. The only problems I have with it are the grammar; everything else is great and keep up with a good work.

This is such a sad chapter but a great one at best, so keep with a good work.

These three sentences need to be eliminated, and the second one needs to be rewritten as "You'll see for yourself."

These two sentences should be eliminated.

Replace exclamation mark with question mark.

Italics, not quotation marks.

Another great chapter.

The next two dialogues needs to be together.

All three dialogues needs to be combined in one.

Space