Prasen_Syndrome
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been *on a date (and moreover) must not be used together.
*3 person
*weird
*laid on one of the chapter was good
comma after down
your writinng really improved, you are making proper use of puntuation
a comma must be plalced after complicated
again too long sentence with a lot of thing going on. try to break it in 2 sentence.
away from home is not necessary , it can be omitted
the sentence is too long. generally readers might get confused. so try to brea it into 2 or 3 sentences.
Sir, I have been writing a novel named "I desire a system". I would be very thankful to you if you could read it and give me a review. I am trying really hard but not getting much views, your smallest support can really help me improve. Thankyou.