crazed4now
Hey! I'm Kristen. I'm an American living in Japan and working as a teacher. I like video games, manga, coffee, photography, and sleep.
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bless you. XD
thaaank you
I toooooold you~
I read the paragraph like, 5 times now and I'm not sure where you think the "she" would go. Can you be more specific?
There isn't, but it was mentioned in this paragraph. She's the embodiment of the goddess Miosa. Maybe it's a bit too wordy of a paragraph and I should split it up. :/
Even without a sensory description of it, I can smell his gross tobacco breath here. Ugh. -_-
Forbidden to some.
A really cool idea and some great development! You should go through and make sure your tenses are consistent, though. Pick past or present tense. "I bow... expression changed" kind of sentences can be a bit jarring.
If this is the girl's POV, it should be "fiancée" with two e's.
I mean, who hasn't?